The year is 2006, What was happening in your life?

Cape Town is one of the most frustrating, soulless, and unsustainable cities to live in unless you're in the 1%. Everyone raves about how beautiful it is, but let’s be real, you can’t live in a fucking view. The reality of this city is a housing crisis, a skyrocketing cost of living, and a social scene that feels about as deep as a puddle.

Let’s start with the rental market, where landlords seem to think they’re doing you a favour by charging R15k+ for a 0 bedroom shoebox with peeling paint and mouldy walls. Half the city is struggling to afford a basic place to live while the other half is renting out “luxury apartments” for short-term lets to tourists. And good luck dealing with a landlord when something breaks, they either disappear or act like fixing the plumbing is your personal burden.

And that’s just rent, everything here costs a fortune. Cape Town is marketed as some kind of laid-back paradise, but unless you’re swimming in money, it’s pure financial hell. A basic dinner out? You’re dropping R500 minimum. Groceries? Imported prices for local products. A drink with friends? Hope you enjoy spending a third of your salary on “just a quick catch-up.” It’s no wonder so many people here survive on side hustles or move back in with their parents.

And if you think you’ll find solace in friends, think again. Cape Town is full of superficial social circles,people who don’t want real friendships, just weekend drinking buddies for Instagram stories. It’s all about curating an aesthetic, not actually forming meaningful connections. People here flake, ghost, and move on the second you’re not convenient for them. If you want deep, loyal friendships? Wrong city.

Then there’s the driving. My god, the driving. It’s like half the city never learned basic road rules and the other half actively tries to kill you. Taxi drivers do whatever they want, normal drivers follow no logic, and indicators? Optional, apparently. Every time I get in my car, I accept that someone is going to either cut me off, ignore a red light, or drive like they’re playing GTA on hard mode.

And while all of this is happening, Cape Town is crumbling under its own weight. The amount of shacks and tents popping up in residential areas has exploded, and with that, so has crime and drug use. Entire neighbourhoods are now filled with makeshift shelters, and if you say anything about it, you’re labelled “heartless.” But ignoring the insane levels of poverty, addiction, and crime doesn’t make it go away.

Speaking of crime: I don’t care what the “Cape Town is so much safer than Joburg” crowd says. Crime here is out of control. I’ve had my house broken into three times, once when I was home. I’ve been the victim of an attempted kidnapping. The fact that everyone here just shrugs it off as “part of living in SA” is insane. Gangs run entire communities, police don’t care, and people just move along like this is normal.

And honestly? The extreme wealth inequality in this city makes it unbearable. You’ve got billionaires sipping cocktails in Clifton while families in the Cape Flats live in constant fear of gang violence. You see homeless people everywhere, starving, and struggling, while some tech bro in an R5-million apartment complains about load shedding. The contrast is disgusting.

And before anyone says, “Well, if you hate it, just leave,” I’m working on it. But for now, I just needed to let this out. Cape Town isn’t some utopia: it’s a broken city being held together by overpriced coffee, Instagram aesthetics, and willful ignorance. Anyone else feel this way, or am I just tired of pretending it’s something it’s not?

Should somebody tell them? Also, when/where did they buy a 2016 Trump campaign flag?

I've never felt sadder or that they were robbed of their money because yoh.

We all like chips, whether it's slap chips from that lady at the corner or those long crispy chips from McDonald's

So let's talk, who does it best?

I'll go first, I think Steers just does I perfectly.

There is no ways people genuinely enjoy the liquorice (the black parts) within these sweets. My mom loves them but I even think she’s faking it😭

Video credit: Cool Story Bru (Tik Tok)

To start off, I'm a bit of a cooking snob. I'm a dad of two who is the (un)traditional stay-at-home dad. I cook 99% of the time. I pride myself on making near-restaurant quality food for my family, etc. I hand-make pizzas, burger patties, marinades, mayos, pastas, the works.

Moving on... I've noticed that there have been increased efforts by local restaurant brands to branch into the domestic/home market, such as the myriad of Spur, Wimpy and Steers sauces adorning our isles. More recently, they've started to sell their own burger patties. I'd normally scoff at all the kak in the freezer section - I make my own shit, after all - but I thought, whatever, let's give it a shot (also, it was just after payday and I was flush and feeling kinda larney - These packs are like R130-something each for only six patties).

The Wimpy patties are legit as fuck. Cook them as directed (2 minutes per side x4 turns) and you're kif. I'd usually make a late-night dagwood snack: First fry an egg in a small pan. Remove and add to bun or toast. Cook the patty as directed in the same pan. Add to bun or toast. Top off with store-bought Wimpy relish. Indistinguishable from the original. Fucking love it. I want to buy a hundred boxes of it and store it for the apocalypse.

Then recently I was like, I have to give the Steers patties a shot too. Tonight I made my family Steers burgers. All legit with the same sort of toppings, sauces, etc. that you'd find on a legit burger from them. It was just okay. I think the Steers BBQ sauce did most of the work in this case. Patty was exceptionally uncharacteristic throughout the whole thing.

Then fast forward to now, late night munchies. I figured, let's mix it up. I cook up another Steers patty, but prepare it like I would a Wimpy burger. Wimpy relish, fried egg, all the normal stuff I'd do for my usual fix. Tasted bland as fuck. Didn't get the same Wimpy vibe, even with the overwhelming presence of the relish, which I know is a major factor. It was just... okay.

So my conclusion is: Wimpy patty slaps, and has something that sets it apart (I don't know what it is yet, but one day I'll figure it out). Steers patty is a waste - It's just the epitome of mediocrity in terms of meat - it's just there, waiting for some sauce.

So, thank you for coming to my 01:30 TED talk, I guess.

Like we'd trust this piece of human garbage with our women

Hey guys,

Was hungry today, and money is tight so I found macaroni(R15), an onion (R3?) and Checkers cream of mushroom soup (R5)in the cupboard.

Now, it’s not Master Chef worthy, but the Soup added a nice flavour and creaminess, and the pasta is super filling. Onion added a hearty feel to it.

Just fried the onions in the pan, pasta in the pot, added it all together with the Mushroom soup and boom! I think it could feed 3-4 people?

If anyone else has some super cheap meal ideas, please share!

Thanks ya’ll.

No more contracts for you buddy. You don't have the cards.

What could you say that clearly identifies you as South African, without actually saying it