r/starterpacks • u/labubuking • 3d ago
girl in her 30s trying to settle down after failed relationships starter pack
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u/Lunakill 3d ago
Is the girl in her 30’s in the OP with you? This seems suspiciously specific.
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u/Sir_smokes_a_lot 3d ago
It’s suspiciously positive too
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u/Lunakill 2d ago
Yeah I was reading it like “has this person actually read any of the starterpack memes?”
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u/eremi 3d ago
Is this a D list lifetime movie
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u/SeriousMannequin 3d ago
The usual Hallmark holiday movie plot: woman failed to achieve big city career dreams, moves back to small home town only to encounter former geeky skinny boy from high school who turned into wood-chopping hunky handy man, hilarity ensues.
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u/juliankennedy23 3d ago
He also has a young daughter he's widowed and he has a vegan bakery.
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u/drop_pucks_not_bombs 2d ago
And he makes his living building artisan bird houses or something else that's super specific like underwater basket weaving
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u/Murder_1337 3d ago
These are the ones without kids right?
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u/rinzler83 3d ago
Yep, and on their dating profile they will say they want to settle down and start a family soon
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u/szai 3d ago
Women can have kids into their 40's regularly these days.
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3d ago edited 2d ago
[deleted]
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u/Typhon-Apep 3d ago
My parents tried for 15 years to have kids and had given up until my mom got pregnant with me. When I was born she had just turned 43. No IVF required.
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u/hot4jew 3d ago
Looked at your profile, you are one of the most confidently wrong people I've ever come across on this website lol.
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u/veryunwisedecisions 2d ago
They did give a source.
Yeah, 40 is not a good age for kids. By the time the kid's 20, you're 60 and on your way to retirement. By the time you're 60, your kid should be like 30, because you're in no position to still have them be dependent on you by that age. You'd no longer be earning like a 45 year old; if you're lucky, you might have enough for you and your partner and a house paid off, but definetely not enough for a son or daughter.
So, about 30 should be a good age to have kids. They'd be 20 by your 50s, at which point you're still working and earning well, and you can still help them out with basically starting their adult lives.
It's not a matter of capability to have kids, it's a matter of sustainability on the long term. You need your kids to be fairly independent by the time you are no longer physically capable to provide for them. And that independence doesn't usually happens at age 20.
That's why I think my mom messed things up a little bit. She had me at 30, all good, and I was planned to be the only kid; but then 6 years later, my sister was born, and then 2 years later, my little brother. I'm 27; by the time she's 60, I'll be 30 and I'll have to help her out with my little brother, who'll be midway through college, and I already help her out with my sister, who by that time I hope she's already graduated. If I wasn't here, she'd be kinda fucked, all things considered. If she had us all earlier, this would've been avoided.
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u/Libertyreign 3d ago
Yeah people don't seem to want to admit risk for complications and disorders shoot through the roof in the 40s.
I get it, because a lot of people have started having kids later, and they want to be able to have any many as they want, but it's dangerous for the woman and can have negative effects on the kid.
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u/IronRocketCpp 2d ago
Wish some men understood that as well. Thinking they can have kids into their 50s.
Some people actually want to have their parents alive and well into their teens and 20's.
Sperm quality also declines quite fast after 40
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u/ChonkyPurrtato 2d ago
Does it matter? So she was smart and used birth control/didn't go crazy in her 20's. Wow.
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u/Pure-Enthusiasm-1559 2d ago
I met one exactly like this, very wholesome, we got closer and then she dropped on me that she has an 8 year old, she's 33 now. I've never been that conflicted. My heart sank when i heard she had a kid.
For a moment i thought i met the perfect woman, she's a millionaire as well, but man! another man's kid completely ruined it for me, we are still in touch, i'll think about it seriously maybe when i turn 35 and desperate. But i won't make any effort to chase her.
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u/faux-fox-paws 2d ago
Do yourself and her a favor and stop considering her completely 😅 She sounds like a catch who will probably be happy and uninterested by the time you’re 35. Spare yourself the future disappointment and her the future awkwardness of turning you down
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u/Pure-Enthusiasm-1559 2d ago
Oh shut up! i assume you are a woman? why would i even care of your opinion?! i'm choosing the mother of my kids! i'm a very well rounded guy i don't pick based off telly tubby emotions, else i'd have quickly settled with the campus whore who chain smoked weed, drinks alcohol dresses like a slut...
Also she's the one who approached me, she's never pressured me into anything, she dresses with class, has no history of any drug use alcohol, cigarettes or weed use, no tattoos. You are at no position of telling a man what he wants/needs in a woman unless you FIT the description of what he values in a Woman.
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u/faux-fox-paws 1d ago
Mm yeah, my opinion is unchanged lol. If she‘s looking for a man, I hope she finds an amazing one! As for you, good luck with that personality. 🙂
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u/Pure-Enthusiasm-1559 5h ago
bitch! go back to that hole you came from, you know nothing about my personality, and nothing i typed there is out of this world, that's the typical though process of an average guy.
If i take time to build my career, avoid clubs, alcohol overly risky sex habits, why should i be overly inclined to reward a woman with a life she's not deserving while making myself a slave to it. Also the main reason i've tolerated the idea of dating her, is that she doesn't have the typical traits of a single mom ( you know weed, alcohol, dressing like a slut, tattoos, clubbing).
Maybe i should add, i'm African we have very different cultural values, on what kind of person we pick as the mother of our children, for us the past is everything, i shouldn't be swayed by sob stories of past mistakes and bad lifestyles. Also the Woman's opinion i'd even bother hearing is one that fits my preference, too many hoes giving opinions to men.
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u/LosingTrackByNow 3d ago
this is wholesome
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u/droL_muC 3d ago
Yeah this is like the first 'older woman trying to settle down with a good man' type post I've seen that doesn't feel mean spirited and low-key (or high-key) misogynistic
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u/jackaroo1344 3d ago
I saw the title and was like ruh roh, but this wasn't mean spirited at all. I like when the internet decides to be wholesome. Now should I close reddit for the night on this high note or keep scrolling until I'm mad and sad and tired again 🤔
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u/Chemist-3074 3d ago
Yeah same, wish they made more of these.
Edit : nvm, read the comments and wish I didn't. Why is everyone nitpicking omg??
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u/penguinpops92 3d ago
Anything mentioning a woman that's not some form of complaining triggers the neckbeards
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u/wellwaffled 2d ago
Did you just call someone in their 30s an “older woman”?
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u/droL_muC 2d ago
Relatively speaking, i don't consider someone in their 30s old but that's the general context of the post
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u/beingafunkynote 3d ago
“As she aged”?! She’s 30…
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u/NatauschaJane 2d ago
Women are old at 25, ancient at 30, and might as well be museum pieces at 35 onwards 😂 /s
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u/flatrole 2d ago edited 2d ago
30 felt young to me as a man, but a single woman who wants kids is already feeling time pressure at 30. A conventional dating and marriage timeline would already push her up towards her mid-30’s having her first kid, even if she finds a near-perfect man tomorrow. And fertility is already waning by the mid-30’s.
Not to mention that the female beauty standard idealizes youth to the point where every year she feels a little less desirable.
She isn’t, of course, if she stays fit. She could even be hotter, at least to me. My wife is a smoke show at 50. But she still feels insecure about aging.
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u/Jazzlike-Worry-6920 2d ago
Thank you as someone who ends up having a near anxiety attack every year my age ticks up one.
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u/thewatchbreaker 2h ago
We are always aging… I am aging, you’re aging. She could have said “getting older” but then you’d probably be like “ShE iSnT old!!111!!” I guess the only phrase is “as time progresses” or whatever the fuck.
A 10 year old could say “I’ve been crying less as I’ve aged” and it wouldn’t be incorrect, although the phrasing is quite amusing. “An aged man” does mean an old man, but aging as a verb can be used at any age.
Being so sensitive about age that you object to “aging” as a verb seems counter-productive.
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u/officialdiscoking 3d ago
This is me exactly 💀 just without the tattoos and almost 30. First time one of these has applied to me lmaoo
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u/no_41 3d ago
This is surprisingly uplifting.
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u/notyomamasusername 3d ago
I know usually this topic has reference to a carousel
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u/Crambo1000 3d ago
Hey, nothing wrong with being a fan of the most underrated Rogers and Hammerstein musical
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/itsme-jani 3d ago
So people who never do those things are never an adult? 😅 I'm not married (toxic longterm relationship though) but I have 2 kids. Am I half an adult now?
Btw 40% of babies are born to unmarried people/couples in my country (Germany). Unmarried longterm couples with children are normal here.
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u/Skyblacker 2d ago
Common law marriage kinda counts. That's what my sister in law and her samboa (sp?) in Norway have. It's ironic because they own a house like adults while my husband and I will be forever renting in Silicon Valley (where it costs twice as much to mortgage a home as to lease an equivalent one).
I'm sure everyone will downvote this. Downvote away.
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u/Urgullibl 2d ago
When you've buried your parents and served in the military.
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u/yourdonefor_wt 2d ago
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u/Ok_Supermarket_6169 3d ago
I love whatever woman this is describing but i cant believe people think 30 is old
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u/NatauschaJane 2d ago
A large percentage of the population really does think you live between like 18-28, after that you basically wait around to die tbh
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u/Glassesguy904 3d ago
This seemed overly specific to me, until I realized a bunch of my friends went through it. Not just chicks though. A lot of people go through a self improvement stage after a shitty breakup.
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u/iloveorangekitties 3d ago
this is what i imagine the slightly chunky white women in athleisure at target to be like
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u/could_be_starlings 3d ago
in her 30s
as she aged
um lol?
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u/ChonkyPurrtato 2d ago
Aging doesn't mean old.
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u/thewatchbreaker 2h ago
Thank you for being one of the only people in this comment section who knows what words actually mean.
(That sounded sarcastic but it genuinely wasn’t lol)
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u/Regular_Speech5390 3d ago
This is cool actually. Hope the girl stays happy and free from misery caused by many men
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u/JesusChristKungFu 2d ago
Honestly, I'd expect the before and after pic to be the same on the weightloss journey, or for the after to be larger.
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u/wagman43 2d ago
My friend is dating this bih. I feel like it’s gonna fail. She’s trying way too hard to get him to like her and this mf is already talking about how clingy she is
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u/imposta424 2d ago
For the bottom right, when people post pictures like that some unhappy turd always comments “ you looked more happy in the first picture!!! “
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u/Additional-Size6699 2d ago
You forgot the baggage.
or at least the CBT workbook since she can't afford therapy but still needs to figure out what's wrong with her that she stayed in the last relationship,
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u/beerissweety 3d ago
(Close)Friends/brother/sister ‘s children are her children too.
Way too picky with in proportion to what she offers
Dating sprees every 3-4 months
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u/sadracoon96 3d ago
Lol as if men are not being picky and players either, believe me lots of men who are not more than 5 in looks department are behaving like that too
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u/beerissweety 3d ago
Don’t get the downvotes. A friend of mine has exactly this addition to the starterpack
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u/Electric_Byzaboo 3d ago
Great advertisement, OP. Not interested
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u/Yeralrightboah0566 2d ago
we get it, you're addicted to porn. get some help big dawg, ik its harder than projecting but.. just try it.
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u/julioqc 3d ago
this has mentally unhealthy written all over
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u/TravelingPoodle 3d ago
Given the state of affairs, economy, and terrible leadership, everyone is mentally unhealthy at this point.
At least this type of person is working on herself.
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u/SecretPantyWorshiper 3d ago
These women are a goldmine.
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u/Muted-You7370 3d ago
I’m assuming you’re a psychotherapist who only takes cash clients? That’s insensitive but I don’t get why people are down voting you.
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u/HelpfulHolly 3d ago
Im gonna go ahead and suggest that secret panty worshipper might not be a mental health professional
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u/Muted-You7370 3d ago
I mean how do you think they get the panties? They raid the residential’s laundry.
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u/Yeralrightboah0566 2d ago
in your dreams or irl? cuz im leaning more towards fake dreamland for you..
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2d ago
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u/Yeralrightboah0566 2d ago
Learned what works for her and what doesnt. Dating can help with that? Or maybe youre too young to know. or too inexperienced.
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u/thattogoguy 2d ago
Pro-tip: Avoid them like the plague.
This goes along with the genuinely good guy one.
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3d ago edited 3d ago
[deleted]
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u/cjazzybelle 3d ago
If someone says ur not giving them enough attention it means you’re not giving them enough attention in regards to her specific needs. Just means ur not compatible. It doesn’t mean she’s wrong it just means you’re two very different people with different needs in a relationship.
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u/TwinFrogs 3d ago
Forgot the tit chandelier tat and the neck tats. It’s a prerequisite red flag for an emotionally unstable bipolar homewrecker.
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