1890's Fuckboy Starterpack

[u/EmberMcLain_]

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[u/Upper_South2917]

Now THIS is shitposting

[u/SpaceCadetBoneSpurs]

Claims that he would have totally kicked ass on the Oregon Trail if he were only born 30 years earlier.

[u/EpicGamerer07 → u/SpaceCadetBoneSpurs]

(He would’ve definitely died of dysentery)

[u/SpaceCadetBoneSpurs → u/EpicGamerer07]

He’d have spent all his money on ammunition before leaving Missouri, and then ran out of oxen and wagon parts halfway to Fort Laramie.

[u/_S_P_L_A_S_H_]

howdy pardner, *flicks hat.

[u/Steve-Whitney → u/_S_P_L_A_S_H_]

Count sarn'it!

[u/HahaItsaGiraffeAgain]

Mooching off the free lunch is such a specific historical callback, nice work!

[u/EmberMcLain_ → u/HahaItsaGiraffeAgain]

<3

[u/angrymustacheman → u/HahaItsaGiraffeAgain]

Tasting History my beloved

[u/Roach_Coach_Bangbus → u/angrymustacheman]

TIME

for

HISTORY

[u/Winter-Remove-6244 → u/HahaItsaGiraffeAgain]

They were very salty to encourage people to order drinks

[u/-INC0GN1TO-]

"M'lady." Lowers 1890's fedora

[u/9Lives_]

Made moonshine in his bathtub during the prohibition era and not only does he negligently eyeballs the ingredients but he fails to adhere to any of the safety guidelines.

[u/Spitter2021 → u/9Lives_]

And ended up blind for his troubles 😆

[u/KirisuMongolianSpot]

sounds like he needs some goddamn faith

[u/EmberMcLain_ → u/KirisuMongolianSpot]

I forgot one: Plans to move to Tahiti one day

[u/Polibiux → u/EmberMcLain_]

Wants to be a whaler or missionary just to hook up with Polynesian girls.

[u/0dty0]

Oh man, the mule one. Suddenly, a bunch of Mustang owners with hood pins, but stock hoods, feel their ears a bit warm.

[u/RedHot-Lips]

Bro, the 'wasted all his wages on an expensive saddle, rides a cheap mule' is literally the 1890s version of buying a Gucci belt but still catching the bus.

[u/Blikenave]

That crummy 'actual' picture of some goofy Kid goes for millions of dollars though, more than a century after his death. LEGEND!!

[u/OMDTartWasJoseph]

Fuckin died when I got to Billy the Kid

[u/Birdamus]

Thinks he’s smooth cuz he can ring the spitoon by launching his tobacco juice straight through the missing teeth in his smile.

[u/crzapy]

Brags about how often he gets laid. Fails to mention he's paying for it at the wooden nickel brothel.

[u/Pledgeofmalfeasance]

Quality

[u/Rare-Bid-6860]

Claims to have 'defeated the English' yet still speaks their language, like a bitch.

[u/KarlHp7]

Now THIS is quality content

[u/Not-Clark-Kent]

Kids these days I swear

[u/CloudCumberland]

Oblivion horse armor DCL IRL.

[u/FilHor2001]

Well shat, poster.