r/startups 1d ago

I will not promote CEOs/leaders, what’s the hardest part of your job that people don’t see? I will not promote

Hi all,

From the outside, being a CEO or senior leader looks pretty great. Big paychecks, influence, prestige. But I imagine there’s a very different reality behind the scenes.

If you’re (or have been) in that position, I’d love to know: what’s the hardest, most draining part of the job that outsiders don’t really understand? And if you could get one kind of support that would actually make it easier, what would it be?

Curious to hear your honest perspectives 🙏

37 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

86

u/ProductGuy48 1d ago

The large number of difficult conversations you need to have constantly.

83

u/crossbeats 1d ago

I’m working probably 98% of the time I’m awake. Either literally working (hands on my computer or phone) or mentally thinking through next steps, next pitch, next problem, next week, next year.

It’s exhausting. I’m sick right now, 102 degree fever, and still spent ~12 hours a day for the last 3 days putting together a program for a client.

With employees, it’s all just…scarier. Now if I fail I’m not only screwing myself, but 4 households worth of people. The responsibility is immense.

13

u/thetantalus 1d ago

I second this. I’m always thinking about work, about what’s next or how best to plan and strategize.

In good times, I enjoy it. In difficult times, it can be oppressive.

3

u/christv011 1d ago

That pretty much sums it up

2

u/HouseAdventurous3514 1d ago

that sounds exhausting!

96

u/FineInstruction1397 1d ago

having to go to coldplay concerts

2

u/moljac024 1d ago

you sure people don't see?

2

u/sutipan 1d ago

Absolutely loved this 😂

27

u/csmikkels 1d ago

As a senior leader you don’t have as much flexibility as you think, you usually are following orders. And the worst thing is the constant politics

9

u/Bboyczy 1d ago

The.fucking.politics.

Every person thinks they're the only person who read the 7 Rules of Power and trying to out-manipulate each other.

My job as a senior leader is like 50% dealing with politics rather than actual engineering.

36

u/Weedjo 1d ago

Marathon, not a sprint. It goes on and on and on. And you think: After that hill, it will all be better. And it still goes on and wears you down more and more

22

u/Lifekeepslifeing 1d ago

You get to a point where you have to be both inviting yet selectively. Open-minded yet sure of yourself. Unless your social circles are similar you start losing some friends who don't understand the shift. As CEO you're around the money people more - customers, donors,  etc. You are no longer a person, you are a brand. Your decisions carry consequences and accountability stops at you. Thats if you're good I guess. But there's a lot of ways to be CEO as there are different companies, sizes, strategies and leadership styles so....

18

u/atropostr 1d ago

As a founder; managing every micro thing that never defined as a responsibility to someone in the company.

2

u/Geoff_The_Chosen1 1d ago

Great framing!!

1

u/atropostr 1d ago

Thanks

13

u/SantiGM86 1d ago

I'd say: isolation. It's definitely the loneliest job. Everyone might be working "for you", but everyone also has their agenda, their needs, and they'll use the leverage they have on the company and you to get what they want or need, because you'll be ultimately responsible for the end result. With your stress and troubles you can't really go to your life partner (don't wanna be constantly stress dumping), other C levels shouldn't be freely let in on your stress and troubles because "agendas" (which is perfectly natural by the way), can't really explain everything to the therapist if you have one (because of the time it would take and ultimately, what the hell do they know?), can't really share with other CEOs (because of obvious reasons).

Just gotta strap up, get your game face on and remember the most important thing of all: no one's coming to save you.

6

u/OVERCAPITALIZE 1d ago

Nah dog. Get other founder friends. Makes a world of difference.

6

u/OVERCAPITALIZE 1d ago

I’d say never being able to act how you actually feel. Think the clients an asshole? Too bad, they your bills.

Think your team is being divas? Too bad. Have to keep them retained.

Think your partner is dropping the ball? Too bad. You need them to deliver your supplies.

Occasionally you come and be bad cop, but even then it’s an act.

You’re always performing and optimizing for outcomes.

4

u/buzzspinner 1d ago

Raising money all the time and having people depend on you because they have families and bills.

3

u/accountability_bot 1d ago

My FIL is a CEO at an electric provider. He is beyond exhausted and is quite looking forward to retirement in the next few years. It’s making tons of decisions, dealing with all the problems employees cause, but also keeping those same employees and the board happy. He’s on-call 24/7, and when storms blow through he sleeps in his office. He has to meet with local and state politicians when they start discussing anything in the industry. He’s constantly trying to keep prices low for members, and comes up with tons of ways to make it happen. He meets with large corporations when they want to build in his area and make sweetheart deals to incentivize them further.

He does get to take random days off and all sorts of other perks, but it’s honestly a super stressful job and I don’t envy him at all. I don’t think I’ve ever had a day with him where he didn’t have to dip out of what we’re doing and take a call or something.

5

u/alexmrv 1d ago

Have you ever gone “this is not my job/problem?” or escalated an issue to your manager? Wonder where that shit ends up?

Now multiply that * everyone in your company has ever gone “yeah this is not my problem”.

As the person at the top you never get to say that, and every time someone does it lands in your plate in one way or another.

8

u/Illustrious-Key-9228 1d ago

It’s not like a movie 😂

2

u/sutipan 1d ago

You are exactly right, 😂, but the reality is so hard to grasp. Often times movies, news, and youtube are the only source of information

3

u/crimsonpowder 1d ago

Sword of Damocles.

3

u/PrtclO 1d ago

You have to take care of everyone but no one take care of you and you can not have real off time.

3

u/New-Advertising-647 1d ago

Client Acquisition

2

u/jgwerner12 1d ago

Multi tasking and trying to do all things well, which is impossible.

2

u/UnoMaconheiro 1d ago

outsiders think it’s all perks and decisions but the constant pressure to be right is exhausting and invisible. knowing someone has your back without questioning your every choice would help a lot

2

u/LoungeFlyZ 1d ago

You know how you have that one problem that’s either personal or work related?

Yeah, as a CEO you have to deal with everyone’s problems. No matter if they are work related or not.

2

u/riverside_wos 1d ago

There is no off switch. Especially in small to mid sized companies.

When times are tough, you are often stuck between multiple terrible decisions that impact people you truly like/trust/respect. There is very little that is easy about this role.

2

u/Your-Startup-Advisor 1d ago

Feeling lonely!

3

u/neuchatel1968 1d ago

At least at smaller companies, shit always flows to the top.

3

u/AncientPC 1d ago

To elaborate, shit flows downhill but unresolved difficulties get escalated. That means the higher you are in the org chart, the more challenging stuff you have to deal with. Maybe it's growing revenue, cutting costs, expanding into new markets, solving conflicts, hiring, etc depending on role and company.

1

u/SoSheSays28 1d ago

Honestly, it’s all a very fun game until you start adding FTEs. Each one is a whole life that depends on your personal drive/success. It’s a lot. It’s why I started therapy. Because no one in the org can ever sense that fear, or it all breaks down. Sounds dramatic, but it’s a heavy weight and one I never anticipated.

1

u/kristanbullett 1d ago

For the past 3 months I spent way too much time dealing with HMRC (who owe me £100K) and customers (who owe me £500K) and ensuring we maintain cashflow to pay wages. I need to spend time winning customers but cannot do that because of the above. Once that problem goes away then there’ll be another big fire I need to put out. This is my life.

1

u/incompl--te 13h ago

Making decisions. The first time I had to decide how much of the employees health care the company paid for hit me hard. What % of their insurance should they pay. What should the company pay? It impacts their pocket.

Decisions about individuals are easy to justify. Decisions about 100 people are different.

1

u/futurebillionaire444 7h ago

The loneliness and the constant not being told what to do so you have to figure out what to do every single day and then you have to figure out how to do it and then you have to figure out how to deal with the problems you face while doing it while also managing 4 other critical things that are going on while also managing your employees

0

u/runthepoint1 1d ago

It depends on the person. If you’re calm collected and have a strong sense of self and self respect then you can get it done. When you’re a jittery borderline ADHD can’t think straight with poor judgment, it will be hard. Depends on the person