r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought 2283 days • Aug 05 '25
'Tude 'Tude Talk Tuesday for August 5, 2025
Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "I was really upset that this thing that I loved kept ruining my life" and that resonated with me.
From the first time I got drunk, I knew I'd found something awesome. I was amazed that by just taking a few swigs of some liquid, I could find myself transported to a totally different state of mind. From day one, I drank for effect and effect only.
I've heard it said "first it was fun, then it was fun with problems, then it was just problems" and that sums up my drinking career quite a bit.
By the end, I had no idea how I could possibly live without alcohol. I could have sworn it was the only good thing I had going in my life, the only thing that was "fun", the only thing that brought me peace. I am amazed at how addiction was so powerful in its ability to lie to me like that.
In sobriety, I've come to understand that by the end, alcohol just brought problems. I wasn't having fun. I was at peace. I was isolated from everyone and everything I loved. I was full of shame and guilt and fear. I was miserable.
It's not all puppies and rainbows in sobriety, but at least I'm not actively poisoning myself and somehow fooled into thinking it's the only good thing I've got going on in my life.
So how about you? How was alcohol ruining your life and how is it better now?
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u/Ithinksometimes_ 72 days Aug 05 '25
Nothing too deep to say, but I was able to wake up and run 10 miles on Sunday and not sleep in until 11AM and squeeze in some poor quality afternoon miles
The little things!
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u/sujaneiro2608 Aug 05 '25
WOW !10 miles are not a little thing. You can be super proud! Great motivation for me!
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u/Unique_Response_9270 57 days Aug 05 '25
Alcohol was ruining relationships with people I cared about, was making me miss work, the gym, events I said I was gonna go to but had to recover from massive hangovers, ruining my finances…all for nothing tbh. I can’t think of one benefit to drinking. Nowadays, I don’t have to wonder what I posted on social media the night before, or what I texted so and so, or why I’ve been blocked, or worrying about getting shitty sleep…I really should’ve done this sooner but alas, IWNDWYT 💪🏽
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u/AmeelsOnWheels-06 69 days Aug 05 '25
I used to think that sobriety was a punishment because I was forcing myself to feel pain I wasn’t ready to feel. but i was so wrong! To live in a body that has and will fight with everything it has for this life, and a mind willing to change, grow and learn kindness. Sobriety is a privilege!
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u/New-Addition7841 62 days Aug 05 '25
Self confidence. Alcohol makes me feel shitty about myself in short. Cutting it out removed that negativity about myself and I just feel….better :)
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u/coIlean2016 304 days Aug 05 '25
I didn’t want to live… the pain was insurmountable. I didn’t think I could come back from that moment. Remarkable to be so careful about our self nurturing after trying to obliterate our bodies with alcohol… I’m grateful for this evolution… 9 months today… the gestation period for a new human. One that I conceived 9 months ago and I do feel is fully developed. A very special friend is arriving today who lives in the opposite side of the world, where I used to live. I’ve only seen her 2x in the past 20 years… this time she gets to meet this new person. 20 years ago I had suffered from an incident of intimate partner violence. I know that betrayal triggered a chasm in my heart. That’s why I left there to live here. I couldn’t stay. Her name too is Colleen. I feel like some part of me is whole again. Sobriety is so profound. This time it’s not just about the drinking. It’s healing. ❤️🩹
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u/Aggravating-Tune-404 191 days Aug 05 '25
Giving up alcoholic beverages was one of the few decisions in my life that only has a positive side. My life has improved. In fact, what improved was my emotional control and my soul, which is more at peace than I ever imagined it would feel. Life's adversities become lighter, you feel more love and compassion for others and eliminate selfishness. And here it helped me a lot! Thank you and hugs from Brazil...
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u/Comfortable_Buy_7895 56 days Aug 05 '25
100% this has been my experience too. I am less agitated and more present.
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u/shellys-dollhouse 71 days Aug 05 '25
not a lot to say, other than i know deep down the alcohol abuse is a symptom of other issues that i’ll have to work hard on to work through. i am grateful to have such cheap yet intensive therapy.
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u/Clean_New_Adventure 251 days Aug 05 '25
It’s a hero’s journey, for sure. I think you’re going to love it!!!
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u/Balrogkicksass 1488 days Aug 05 '25
I don't typically post here but I saw this and all I can think of is something my partner has said a few times to me
"You can't ever go back to drinking. I swear if I ever found out, this would be over and I would call your dad to ask permission to kick your ass"
This is from someone who never even met me at my worst but knows how awful it was and how it has shaped me to be who I am today.
I felt so greatful the first time I heard them say that because....I don't think anyone aside from my father has cared that much and we are still growing and learning more about eachother each day.
I just felt like sharing that today and whomever reads this IWNDWYT and I hope your day is as bright as the stars.
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u/HowDoYouLikeMeNowB 40 days Aug 05 '25
I just realized how exactly contradictory my expectations of drinking are. I drank for fun because it let me feel loose, free, casual in social situations. I also drank to numb, when I just wanted to ignore or avoid something. Well, how does the same substance do both, numb but also make me feel extraordinary? It doesn't. My social life is better now, I never needed it. I have more fun going places and being sober, remembering everything without the anxiety of doing something embarrassing! Less embarrassing moments = less regret, less reasons to be anxious. Being 100% present is 100% better!
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u/PsychologicalSir4451 43 days Aug 05 '25
It’s so cool to read everyone’s perspectives and experiences with this.
So far, I am noticing that I just feel clearer. Both cognitively and emotionally. I’m not as anxious. I’m not feeling those random occurrences of dread. My mood seems more stable. I’m still cranky sometimes but not almost daily. I don’t feel dysphoric anymore, and I am starting to actually want to do things again. This time around, my spouse is on board with me and that makes it even better. We are both making choices that will help us keep sobriety.
IWNDWYT!!
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u/Archmikem Aug 05 '25
To be honest, nothing has gotten better for me. I've been sober for a handful of months now because I'd been suffering from Cholinergic Urticaria, thinking the alcohol was a catalyst factor (other than the usual getting addicted part). Since then my Hives haven't stopped and my mood hasn't gotten better at all, in fact it's been worse lately because of my Job. I also stopped drinking because of weight gain, but that hasn't stopped either, as I've just been trying to replace my drinks with other substitutes. I'm playing mental gymnastics because my brain needs SOME kind of vice in my daily life, because of how depressed I am from it.
A couple days ago I had my first drink in months at my Mother's birthday dinner. Today I bought a couple shot bottles to make a Rum & Coke with my lunch. I know I absolutely cannot get back into my old habit, which consisted of getting the 1.75 liter bottles and making two drinks every single day. If I'm going to have a drink, it's going to beat most once a week, when I go grocery shopping.
That is until maybe something happier comes into my life.
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u/Possible_Station_253 57 days Aug 06 '25
IWNDWYT. Very difficult last few days. A lot of guilt and grief today. Something alcohol took away from me was my conscience. I have done some terrible things that are very difficult to live with sober and that's the thing with alcohol, it causes you do these horrible things and then the only way to cope with them is to drink more.
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u/YungBonaparte 67 days Aug 05 '25
Something someone said in a meeting stuck with me, it was to the effect of: “I’m an alcoholic because deep down, I want to die, I want to kill myself. Something in my brain hates who I am, so I’m choosing the most tortuous way to do it.” I wish I wrote it down because it was extremely eloquent and insightful.
It resonated with me and made me very emotional because that was me. Something in my brain just overanalyzed and hated everything about who I am.
Well cheers to learning how to stop hating myself. Cheers to learning how to love who I am, imperfections and all. Cheers to removing a poison from my life that was altering my brain’s chemical makeup. Cheers to not slowly killing myself. I need sobriety and I’m damn glad I’ve found it.
Just a month in and I’m so much happier. I wake up excited for the day. Excited for work. I’m excited to talk to people. I’m motivated to hit my step goal and go lift at the gym. I am proud to look in the mirror and see the person staring back at me. I sing in the car. I laugh at jokes. I play with my dog. I cook delicious meals. I could go on and on. This is all in 32 days. If those are the changes I’ve seen in that timeframe I am PUMPED for the future.