r/stopdrinking • u/susu56 • 5d ago
Sober, gald I was
Went to a friend's dinner last night. It was about 10 of us total. Great food and lots of booze...lots. aside from a sip of my husband's old fashioned I had absolutely nothing. Drank my water all night, was "boring" (what i was told). Also witnessed first hand people going from being bubbly, fun, etc after a couple of drinks to total messes (slurring, dropping things, babbling on and on, etc). No judgements on them, we were in a safe place and they were enjoying themselves. But I will say, it felt good to have my wits about me, be able to drive home, wake up kindof refreshed on 5 hrs of sleep and be able to be productive today without a hangover.
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u/Chance-Cry2343 152 days 5d ago
Way to be! Bravo staying sober in that setting. Now you get to enjoy a clear-headed sunday from well above the foggy haze. IWNDWYT
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u/Quiltron3000 108 days 4d ago
Had a party for my stepmoms first birthday since she’s been gone. I’m 101 days sober so I was just crushing NA beers and went to bed at 12. My dad came out of his room the next morning looking like absolute death and I was so glad I was sober cause it looked miserable lol
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u/lilmil92 473 days 5d ago
Nice!! Feeling good after 5-6 hours of sleep was mind blowing to me. Truly didn’t think that was possible
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u/I__Am__Jedi 75 days 5d ago
I had a similar experience last night. It’s a great feeling waking up rested in the morning and not hungover. Way to go!
IWNDWYT
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u/cryptic_pizza 254 days 4d ago
Isn’t it a relief to not be hungover?! Best feeling in the world.
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u/ParticularMost6100 4d ago
And no spending the day wondering what you said to whom and replaying cringe moments as the hangxiety kicks in - what a delight!
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u/Inderific 145 days 5d ago
I'm going to a party today that will probably look a lot like this ...
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u/susu56 4d ago
It was difficult in the first hour just dealing with comments/questions "why aren't you drinking?" "Oh just one won't hurt" "you're boring when you aren't drinking" etc. The availability of the alcohol was not an issue so I felt good about not having any cravings...did I want just 1 drink to relax a bit? I did, but thinking what would happen next and saying to myself "You've made it this far, keep going" helped a lot. Best of luck to you tonight. IWNDWYT
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u/Posey74 138 days 4d ago
It blows my mind that anyone would tell another person they’re boring when they don’t drink, joking or not. I understand it says more about them than anything else but it’s just plain rude.
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u/Inderific 145 days 4d ago
I agree. It's just a really rude thing to say. It also says to me that this is a person who knows they have a drinking problem and they are pushing others to drink to help normalize it - while I never told anyone they were boring I might have been guilty of pushing booze a few times in my life, so there's that.
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u/susu56 4d ago
I've pushed the booze before too, I'm sure most of us have- so wasn't holding anything against anyone. And for majority of folks, booze=reward/relax or having fun. Its a short term "gain" for a long term (for myself) loss. The boring comment did hurt my feelings a bit because I think I am fun no matter what, lol.
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u/ParticularMost6100 4d ago
I started a new job with a pretty harsh commute a few months back. When people ask why I’m not drinking (because I was generally known for having a cocktail in hand at ALL times in social situations), I blame my new work routine and the need to manage my sleep well, train like an athlete, etc. Most people are sympathetic and the conversation generally turns from my sobriety to bashing the corporate grind.
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u/MedivalBlacksmith 4d ago
Nice! About people calling you "boring". Of course you're not the same person that will speak about everything and act in the same way when you're sober.
The good thing is that you won't feel like shit and no anxiety caused by being too drink and do stupid stuff.
I would never attend sober, I think. I don't really like meeting bigger groups of people.
Anyway, you did great.👍
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u/Over-Needleworker598 4d ago
I've noticed the same.
Also, full transparency, I've been the one to dish the peer pressure more than once, so I try and be understanding that we are all in different places.
I caught myself thinking at a happy hour the other day, while drinking NA beers, that it felt nice to be able to have the "benefits" of having some "drinks" but none of the negative side effects.
Drove home 35 miles and no concerns about potential consequences or negative outcomes. Was truly nice.
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u/susu56 4d ago
Same. I've pushed it as well without a 2nd thought, tbh. I was thankful I was able to drive home with a drunk husband semi navigating (took a wrong turn but we made it,lol) and my twins resting peacefully and safely in the backseat. Had enough energy to stay up til way too late in the morning (4am) but needed that time to decompress from all the socializing
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u/bassman651 277 days 4d ago
Let me tell you what lol
I play bass in a band. I used to always keep my bar tabs separate because I was afraid my band mates would be worried if they knew I was drinking. I would keep alcohol in my car because it was cheaper so my tab would be lower.
I used to always be worried about drinking around the guys when I first quit. It gets easier, but it takes time. The dudes were always great about not offering me any at practice.
Truth is: most places we play are bars or parties. We've been gigging less so it's been way easier. We have a double header this weekend and I can't wait to be the only not hungover one haha
Now when I leave gigs I leave with my pay and back pain. Much better than no pay and back pain for the whole next week lol
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u/SweetMaryMcGill 4022 days 4d ago
Hah! Strong work! Pay no attention to those oh so “fascinating” sloppy drunks who call you boring.
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u/frizz327 4d ago
I love your attitude towards others - i.e. “No judgements on them, we were in a safe place and they were enjoying themselves.” So frequently in these forums I see people throwing shade on others in a different place in their life/“alcohol journey” than they personally are, and it always leaves a weird taste in my mouth. Awesome that you’re feeling comfortable and confident doing what is right for you!
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u/AdmiralAngry 334 days 4d ago edited 4d ago
The best thing I did for my sobriety (everyone’s mileage may vary of course) was to continue going to my usual haunt, or hanging with my girl and her sister while they cut loose, etc. Eventually someone might get a little too silly, or babbly, or just tiring to be around (same as you, no judgement, safe space for my people to enjoy themselves), and I would think to myself “Fuck, I know for a fact I was 2-3 times more annoying drunk than they are.” More than happy to help nurse a hangover the next day, do a little extra around the house so they can chill, order some takeout for a lazy movie day. I find it quite “zen” in a way.
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u/ihaveopened 4d ago
Well my wife pissed in our bed around 3am last night. So I obviously woke up. Couldn't wake her up, but I saw her breathing. So 🤷.
All during my son's sleepover birthday party with his friends.
Confirmed she was moving this morning. 😑
But I openly admit I have a problem.
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u/susu56 4d ago
Man, I am sorry about that. Been thru some hard times myself (at work event in another state, fell, my head busted the toilet, had to call 911)- that should've been my wake up call. It was for a month then I was back at it. Still working on it day by day and slip ups happen but not as often anymore. Give yourself and wife some grace and small steps to have a sense of control.
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u/Shuttmedia 4d ago
Similar experience last night! I never thought I was that annoying drunk, but I’m sure neither did they but my god it was tough being with them after that fourth drink they all had
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u/mohosa63224 55 days 4d ago
aside from a sip of my husband's old fashioned
Some people might disagree, but I don't consider that as a bad thing. I sipped my friend's drink two nights ago at a concert, and it didn't make me wanna get something of my own. I just wanted to see what it tasted like, as it's not something I would ever get myself. It wasn't even good.
Anyway, glad you had a good time without. It can be tough.
IWNDWYT
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u/susu56 4d ago edited 4d ago
Same. Was always a wine person. Hubby had an old fashioned that his friend had been practicing perfecting and has been on my journey with me- hubby asked me to take a sip. I would have declined if I felt it would have set me off. One small sip from it to compliment the host and onto the food/appetizers. Feel like there is grey area some of us have to navigate and this was one of those.
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u/mohosa63224 55 days 4d ago
My friend (ex-girlfriend) can't really drink anymore due to medical issues, but she'll have one on occasion. Usually a Cosmo. I always taste them just to see how the bartender made it, but I'd never order one for myself.
Now, if someone offered me a sip of Scotch on the other hand, I'd have to say no. Even one sip would make me want more, and more, and more, until I run out of money. An Old Fashioned would be similar.
I know on this sub it's kinda a grey area, but personally, I don't see a problem with a taste test so long as you don't go further than that. I look at it like quitting smoking. Having a puff here and there isn't the worst thing in the world, just don't go out and buy a pack again.
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u/BalloonTycoon 4d ago
If someone dares questions why I wanna stop drinking ("at 22") I'll tell them that I don't wanna die of pancreatitis and multiple organ failure at 54 after battling for a month in a coma like my mom, who worked herself up to a functioning alcoholic without us noticing in time.
I guess that'll shut them up.
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u/vwaldoguy 660 days 5d ago
Jokes on them. They probably have pretty serious hangovers today. It's so "boring" for them to be sleeping all day, hanging out in their bed hating life. Enjoy your hangover-free day.