r/stopsmoking • u/kamelsalah1 • 7d ago

My husband doesn't know I still smoke

I quit for a year, and he was so proud of me. Then my mom got sick, and I bought a pack "just for the drive home from the hospital." That was three months ago. Now I'm hiding it, brushing my teeth constantly, and lying to the person I love most. The guilt is crushing me. Has anyone else been here? How did you come clean and start again?

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u/jefusan 688 days 6d ago

I've been there. They usually know.

There is a shame to it. Which is probably a good incentive to quit. I would say 80% of the years I smoked were spent beating myself up for smoking. Wouldn't it be nice to eventually let go of feeling like that?

Now instead of having some physical enjoyment with lots of guilt, I just occasionally miss it but can miss it knowing how proud I am that I quit. Stop focusing on how hard it is to quit and focus on how hard it is hating yourself for smoking.

You might not be there now, but I bet you will be. I rejoice for you in advance.

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u/jefusan 688 days 6d ago

That being said, no marriage is 100% honesty. It's a good policy, but impossible to achieve. So don't let the guilt crush you. (Just do something about it!)

Just know that smoking isn't exactly the little lie we sometimes tell ourselves it is. Not for the people who love you.