Anxious day and the cravings are becoming unbearable.

[u/thisissoannoying2306]

Today has been the worst day since stopping 7 weeks ago.

I had some anxiety-inducing paperwork to do. Stuff I have been procrastinating for month now and which makes me worry a lot.

And I’m feeling an almost unbearable craving to use my usual “anti-anxiety drug”, that helped me through every crisis in the last decades. Just like a huge hole in my breast that can only be filled with smoke and nicotine. I’ve tried to get distracted, to drink water, to eat, whatever. Nothing helps. It’s been going on non stop for hours now, it’s a very physical sensation.

I’ve been doing so well up to now, it was pretty easy to stop, as I was in a relaxed environment, far from home and with only non smokers. Now I’m back home and back to reality, and my mind keeps telling me to smoke again and search an excuse to go for it. It’s crazy, I’m supposed to be over nicotine by now…

I haven’t given in yet, will try to get an anti-anxiolytic to sleep and hope for the best that it’ll be gone by tomorrow. But these cravings are not just a passing thing for me, I’m literally obsessed with smoking right now and I can feel the need literally physically. Why does everyone always say it just takes a distraction and it’s just in your mind. It certainly doesn’t feel this way right now :-)

[u/PokeMyLoveless]

Stay strong! Having one now will only make you light-headed and more anxious. You've got this!

[u/thisissoannoying2306 → u/PokeMyLoveless]

Thank you. Thanks for the encouragement it really helps. Thankfully no cigarettes in my vicinity and can still control the urge to get out and get some. But it literally feels like my mind is trying to overrule me. Not even rationally with arguments. Just by making me obsessively feel like I need to smoke.

[u/MyNameIsSkittles]

Do something for your dopamine, thats what your brain wants. Going for a walk is an easy way to help with that

[u/thisissoannoying2306 → u/MyNameIsSkittles]

Good idea. But it’s late and dark now where I am. But will do that first thing in the morning, maybe going for a quick run or something.

[u/Outrageous-North953 → u/thisissoannoying2306]

Morning sun is supposed to be especially good for dopamine, I read. Also, did you do the paperwork? How did it go? Completing tasks is another way to rewire your reward system. I've been facing all kinds of tasks I was dreading, just chasing non-nicotine highs. Hope it worked out for you. Sending strength. You so got this. It will get easier.

[u/ak4207]

Im so proud of you for not smoking. Its truly inspiring. I know you know a cig wont do anything but make you feel worse. Damn brain always playing tricks on us.

[u/thisissoannoying2306 → u/ak4207]

Yet. Thanks for the encouragement. But I really fear I will give in at some point. Just took an anti-anxiolytic, it helps. But the general idea is also to keep the usage of those down, according to my doctor (no addiction issue, just as a general precaution). Can’t win, I guess :-)

[u/ak4207 → u/thisissoannoying2306]

You've worked so hard! Will it really be worth restarting? I know its suck, its suck really hard, harder than a blackhole blowing another blackhole. BUT, what if you wake up tomorrow and its gone? Taking walks always helps me. Im sorry youre going through this friend :( I really wish I could help. For me whenever cravings get tough I resort to wim hof breathing. Look it up on youtube if you want, "Wim Hof Guided Wim Hof Method Breathing

[u/jtboe79]

Stay strong! Smoking will really only make the anxiety worse. Do you have any gum or maybe a sucker? You need to distract yourself!