r/tacticalgear May 14 '25

Rhetorical Hyperbole What would a SHTF “engineer” kit look like?

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712 Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

264

u/Kenji338 May 14 '25

Where duct tape

103

u/bleedinghero May 14 '25

And wd 40.... and knipex or channel locks. "With a large enough pair of channel locks you can rip out and destory paddle locks." -Adam Savage

20

u/B1ack_A1ch3myst May 14 '25

Or a 10 in 1 screwdriver?

8

u/bleedinghero May 14 '25

I thought the x key had that in it. Maybe I'm wrong on that one.

5

u/B1ack_A1ch3myst May 15 '25

Nah I think it has sockets in it.

3

u/bb_805 May 17 '25

I think that’s a water key to access spigots on buildings that don’t have knobs

6

u/Xterra9171 May 14 '25

Or electrical tape either one

154

u/FauxReignNew May 14 '25

Missing the RPG-7V2 and EOD bot.

35

u/A-10goBrrrt May 14 '25

God, I love that game

16

u/wanderer_syndicate May 14 '25

They could honestly just remake it with a few updates, and we would all buy it again, lmao

108

u/heatthecore May 14 '25

Paint markers, multimeter, zip ties, duct tape, jumper wires, pen testing devices.

28

u/chattytrout May 14 '25

Don't forget your trusty CH751, FEO-K1, and 1284x keys.

44

u/SoCalSurvivalist May 14 '25

Just missing the standard and metric nut driver.

9

u/SoCalSurvivalist May 14 '25

Just to add...a pipe wrench to remove locks with the twist method.

6

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

Or just two regular wrenches

10

u/SoCalSurvivalist May 14 '25

Yeah that works too, but an aluminum handle pipe wrench might be lighter.

It might easier to explain a well used pipe wrench in a bag of tools than a couple oversized reg wrenches. But if someone is searching through your tools and asking questions mistakes have either been made or luck ran out.

8

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

Just normal crack head activotes will be my awnser

3

u/SoCalSurvivalist May 14 '25

I mean in my area that would probably get you off the hook and the cops might even take you to dinner first too.

2

u/HellCreek6 May 15 '25

Underappreciated technique. Goes through padlocks quicker, with less effort than bolt cutters.

39

u/No_Conversation8959 May 14 '25

13

u/Hot_Departure9115 May 14 '25

"This is a gathering of the most common construction core keys, with Lime Green being the most popular of all."

This is hilarious. 

11

u/soisause May 14 '25

Wow that looks extremely convenient

1

u/titodsm May 14 '25

That's what I was thinking some kind of pry bar.

56

u/Marginally_Witty May 14 '25

In this day and age? A backpack portable SDR with amplifiers for 1.5, 2.4, and 5.8 GHz bands, directional antennas, and fat battery.*

The guys with the anti-drone kits are going to be real popular if shit gets weird.

*While I fully endorse every American’s right to build cool shit in your garage, it is a VERY BAD IDEA to fuck with the FCC and use a jammer for shits and giggles. Those boys are serious.

30

u/BlueGolfball May 14 '25

The guys with the anti-drone kits are going to be real popular if shit gets weird.

I'm already buying fiber optic drones. Fuck your anti-drone whatevers

10

u/Mean-Estate3551 May 14 '25

OP has a shotgun anyway

1

u/BlueGolfball May 14 '25

OP has a shotgun anyway

And I guarantee he doesn't have a single shell of bird shot with that shotgun.

1

u/WarlockEngineer May 14 '25

Bird shot hardly works on drones lol

4

u/Mean-Estate3551 May 14 '25

throwing AKMs at drones works. i've seen enough footage from ukraine to know that if its my time, its my time.

2

u/BlueGolfball May 14 '25

Bird shot hardly works on drones lol

Shotguns hardly work on drones. If someone is shooting buckshot at a drone then they would have about the same chance of hitting it with an automatic rifle.

1

u/spiceweasle93 May 15 '25

Why not? I've never been acosted by drones, but I've shot a fair bit of skeet shooting and bird hunting. What about drones makes them shotgun proof?

-3

u/WarlockEngineer May 15 '25

Most drones are made of fairly sturdy plastic so that they can survive bumps and falls. That plastic alone is enough to make them resistant to birdshot.

They can also fly fast enough and high enough to make a hit on them nearly impossible

1

u/WeissMISFIT May 15 '25

When I was a kid I built a carbon fibre drone and the fastest I ever went was about 160kmh. I know a guy who hit 200kmh.

I’ve probably crashed it at 40kmh and it was fine

2

u/Marginally_Witty May 14 '25

lol. Nice. What a fuckin crazy world we live in.

6

u/BasedPinoy May 14 '25

Heck yeah, that's what I'm talkin about! Have an SBC run the SDR, load up some ML models on it, get a TPU to do inference, output signals back through and wham!

Sad to see anti-drone tech so far down

2

u/Marginally_Witty May 14 '25

If Ukraine teaches us anything, it’s that air superiority is no longer limited to fighter jets and strategic bombers.

19

u/mattycakes1077 May 14 '25

PCC in 10mm, bigger hammer than that, as already mentioned duct tape and wd40, vodka and orange juice

17

u/QueerDumbass May 14 '25

Get a technical education, something in industrial maintenance or automation will cover 9/10 basic construction and electrical theory topics. Find a couple courses in small engine repair. Maybe woodworking.

15

u/DarkAndStormyXXX Sticky Fingers Actual May 14 '25

Honestly, depending on what route you wanna take, given that entrace seems to be your goal compared to denial, I'd through a flipper and a lock pick into the kit

12

u/WinIll755 May 14 '25

Antique monkey wrench

4

u/G8racingfool May 14 '25

And a six string to bash people over the head with.

20

u/echocall2 May 14 '25

I fear the man who owns knipex pliers and an adjustable wrench.

6

u/LaGrrrande May 14 '25

I'd fear him more if he swapped the adjustable wrench with a Knipex pliers-wrench.

3

u/Hot_Departure9115 May 14 '25

Swedish pipe wrench. Similar, but better (imo).

20

u/Imperialist_hotdog May 14 '25

Depends what you’re “engineering.”

Are you talking just breaching? In which case a pair of bolt cutters, lock picking kit, maybe a hoolie tool and some toys out of TM 31-210 (where “legally” applicable) would be fine additions.

Otherwise checkout MCWP 3-17 (at least section 4), Joint Pub 3-34, and FM 5-34.

13

u/Gardez_geekin May 14 '25

Yeah “engineer” seems to be pretty fast and loose here

8

u/WildResident2816 May 14 '25

Per the flowchart you also need duct tape and wd40.

9

u/Bob-TheTomato May 14 '25

Although people keep saying duct tape… I would argue E-tape and Monofilament will do anything duct tape can. Those two, wire strippers, crimpers, and a 12 pack of white monster

12

u/Gardez_geekin May 14 '25

Demo and c-wire, so a bunch of fertilizer and barb wire.

6

u/OGDREADLORD666 May 14 '25 edited May 15 '25

Need a thumper, hooligan tool, 12" spikes for windlassing wire, a lot of chew, chainsaw, gun tape, a 5 pound puppy pounder and a 10 pound sledge, trip wire feeler, shovel, some cordage, about 6 pairs of work gloves, and some more chew if you want a real SHTF combat engineer loadout.

Bring some cam poles too so you can make the barbed wire machine for when you have to lay out hundreds of feet of it off a the barbed wire reel.

7

u/sofer100 May 14 '25

Im a part of my community natural disaster response team and two things that I've found really useful and you're missing are: 1. A wood saw 2. A bunch of nails

That ability to makeshift things in the field with those is priceless! On our one actual call we had a beam blocking our way to a trapped granny and the saw (which is electric but I'm sure a normal one would work) did a pretty good job and saved us a lot of time. My partner also took the two pieces made some makeshift supports out of it using some big fucking screws (but I think you're trying to go electricity free so nails can do the job)

1

u/porty1119 Prospector/Commo Geek May 20 '25

Have Sawzall, will travel. It's a construction tool and a demolition tool all in one handy package!

5

u/Dramatic-Volume1625 May 14 '25

Halligan tool, zip ties and 100mph tape

5

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Gardez_geekin May 14 '25

This post is not essayons approved

2

u/[deleted] May 15 '25

4

u/bleedinghero May 14 '25

Is that detonation cord? Also why not go with a titanium hammer? Saves weight.

7

u/2020blowsdik Connoisseur of Autism Patches May 14 '25

What kind of engineer?

Im both a Marine Combat Engineer (reserve now) and a structural engineer in the civilian world.... my SHTF kit would not look like this for either job 🤣

6

u/PleasantPreference62 May 14 '25

Duct tape for when it moves but shouldn't. WD40 for when it doesn't move but should.

4

u/slimcrizzle May 14 '25

You have a better chance of surviving a point blank nuclear impact than seeing an engineer with tools in their hands

3

u/pryznnmik3 May 14 '25

Where electrical tape on caribiner and SMAW-D?

3

u/VXMerlinXV May 14 '25

Is this just forced entry? What are you trying to get done?

3

u/ALinIndy May 14 '25 edited May 14 '25

Lock pick? Maybe nowadays a flippr and raspberry pi?

3

u/danieladickey May 14 '25

Where calculator and AutoCAD?

2

u/Seagull_Manager May 14 '25

Need a bigger hammer

2

u/BannedByReddit471 May 14 '25

A shit tonne of comp explosives and det cord

2

u/GenericUsername817 May 14 '25

Needs duct tape, zip ties and if you can get your hands on it, detcord

2

u/Speedhabit May 14 '25

You don’t have a multimeter

2

u/Jaguar_AI May 14 '25

Shotguns fuck

1

u/TopH4nd May 14 '25

I’d ditch the croissant and go with a good pair of Channing Tatums.

1

u/ChemicalTapwater May 14 '25

I too hate going around them studs.

1

u/Aegon2050 May 14 '25

I LUV me some shtf gun corn.

1

u/coyoteka May 14 '25

Tomahawk

1

u/IronGigant May 14 '25

Telescoping Halligan bar.

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

A lot of machines use the same keys

As do key lock boxes

1

u/ShaolinTrapLord May 14 '25

Knipex a man of taste

1

u/dasvn Horse lover May 14 '25

You need a pioneer box

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

Battery powered disk cutter

1

u/Available-Pace1598 May 14 '25

Need torch and pipe wrench

1

u/Kingpin_Savage May 14 '25

Probably like ACE from R6 siege.

1

u/Mulmangcho99 May 14 '25

As a great engineer once said, "Use a gun. And if that doesn't work, use more gun."

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

Where blowtorch?

1

u/Ok-Detail-9853 May 14 '25

I applaud the sill cock. Often over looked source for water

I would add a pry bar of some kind

Nothing beats the combination of a Halligan and a flat head axe for forcible entry

1

u/Schizoid_Vexoid May 14 '25

Wrench needs to be bigger also you’ll need a dispenser and a turret. I dont make the rules.

1

u/jswck May 14 '25

Plasma cutter, ripper, force gun, contact beam, line gun..

1

u/getzy199 May 14 '25

Chainsaw?

1

u/bluedvr May 14 '25

Pryer/poker and duct tape

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '25

I imagine the goals would be gain access then fortify so Bolt cutters halligan shovel sandbags framing and sledge hammers and a pair of insulated lineman’s pliers

1

u/Khajit1776 May 15 '25

Get the mig welder

1

u/TheDJPenguin1230 May 15 '25

needs a sentry gun and a dispenser for sure.

1

u/Throtex May 15 '25

Was expecting a giant arc welder or something

1

u/spiceweasle93 May 15 '25

Brother, do you even know how to fix anything?

1

u/Innisbrook May 15 '25

Doesn’t look like you have anything to handle screws?

1

u/HellCreek6 May 15 '25

11B here. That's the kit for "Light Zombie Apocalypse Cable Guy".

1

u/The1RestlessNomad May 15 '25

Bolt cutters for sure

1

u/freedomasauros May 16 '25

Lock picking kit

1

u/Drasselll May 18 '25

Missing the cowboy hat, dispenser and sentry.

0

u/ICTPatriot May 14 '25

I see no duck tape.