r/teenagers • u/personthatisapersons 17 • 2d ago

Advice My mother keeps insisting I wear this hoodie, cause she bought it

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I can't stand it, partially because it had something to do with a baby shower which was before I was born anyway

But mostly because it's AI slop, probably made in a sweatshop, and it's not even that warm or comfortable

Any reason I give is instantly shut down, per usual

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

Don't worry, talking about it is helping, as for that I've tried, hid it in a drawer, and she kept bringing it up, cause to her its about the baby shower she had, and some costume I was made to wear as a 1 year old. She persistantly asked about "the monkey hoodie" and for a period she wouldn't let me wash clothes until I wore the hoodie

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u/Kush_the_Ninja 2d ago

Wear it once to school and then come back and say everyone made fun of you for it

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u/Fit-Director-4715 2d ago

This is actually psychotic, I'm sorry. Atp I would cut it into tiny pieces and sprinkle it over her bed like confetti. How are you putting up with this? I'm so so sorry.

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

And that's the weird part, I kind of tried to ignore this until today when I just felt a bit fed up about it and wanted to see what others thought, I thought it might've just been a normal thing or something

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u/Fit-Director-4715 2d ago

No its not normal. I'm so glad you posted this. I would hate for you to think this treatment is ok and let more people in your future do this sort of thing to you. You're probably a really good kid and shes taken advantage of that.

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

Thank you, I really appreciate your words

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u/SadInterjection 2d ago

For her next birthday buy her something completely ridiculous to wear and make hear wear it in public, only cause you like it of course.

Buy some goth clothes or something 

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u/Jsc_TG OLD 2d ago

Sorry to jump in randomly but truly as they said, its psychotic behavior, or in my opinion more accurately its extremely narcissistic behavior.

Once you are 18 you truly have that right but even now you can absolutely put your foot down. Only issue is yes, you are still a minor and they do have power over you in some way shape or form. When she says “Well I bought it so you’re wearing it.” You can still refuse. Im sure it leads to consequence of some kind like you said such as not washing other clothes. Pro tip, learn to wash them yourself, if you can do it when she isnt around.

Honestly if you dont like it that should be it. Know you arent crazy, and if you cant manage to get through to her and shut her down, soon you will be an age where you can possibly move away and set proper boundaries. I would recommend seeking some form of counseling/therapy about healthy boundaries and relationships, normally I would say for both of you but as the kid in the situation thats very hard to make happen, easier the other way around.

I wish you the best in this.

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u/oceanicwave9788 13 2d ago

Maybe ask for a substitute to that one like one less- like that?

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

She likes it too much...I had to point out it's AI, she keeps buying stuff from temu or whatever cause it's cheap, I have other hoodies from that godforsaken company and they're horrible, uncomfortable, and they have this weird material that will wick any sort of sweat.

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u/Patient-Ad-4274 OLD 2d ago

As someone whose mom also used to do the same (mostly guilt-tripping though), I'm not sure if there is a peaceful, guaranteed way to resolve it. She, in fact, can't make you wear clothes you don't like, but I don't think it's possible for you to change her views, so there could be either a groundbreaking, eye-opening confrontation or just a slow pace of finding some middle ground.

And for everyone who is saying "you're practically an adult" - you can be a 40-year-old manchild and still depend on your parents. It's not always about the actual age but what age you are perceived by your mom and your sort of a status. usually adult=freedom=responsibilities, and many don't see their child as an adult as long as they don't act like one

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u/Blepikko 2d ago

I hear you. I’m 19 and my mother is the exact same way, and if you say you don’t like it she acts like you just shot her. I’d wear it out and then take it off when you leave and bring a back up, then just put it back on before you get home. Or tell her that you were made fun of for wearing it, and you’re embarrassed. If that doesn’t work, I’d honestly just throw it out and tell her someone at school stole it/ you lost it.

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u/J_lio719 2d ago

What I'm about to say it's very malicious, but could work.

Try to get your mom banned from Temu by creating multiple accounts from the same network or device and using them to buy things with the new account offers.

It might not work 100%, but at least could make your mother won't buy you more dirt clothes or garbage items.

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u/Krasna_Strelka 1d ago

I don't think temu would ban for any of that

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u/J_lio719 1d ago

I'm talking from experience.

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u/gr33nnight 2d ago

Tell her that people at school said it was racist and you’re afraid of violence if you keep wearing it.

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u/whatvlone 2d ago

Maybe find a good YouTube video exposing the bad sides of buying off temu and wish. May or may not help

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

I actually did a school presentation on I think it was Shein, while wearing a Shein shirt

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u/whatvlone 2d ago

That’s hilarious 😂 I’ve heard horror stories of those sites sending items with bugs in the bags

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

If I ever breed I want to make sure my kids don't ever gotta wear any of this garbage

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u/murgatroid1 1d ago

Already a better parent than your mum

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u/DressOwn2877 2d ago

you need to learn to stand up for yourself, tell her to stop wasting her money, and stop letting her train you to be a (future) doormat.

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u/Krasna_Strelka 1d ago

Yeah they are made with mostly polyester. Unfortunately women are used to it bc our clothes are produced mostly with it. It's hard to find women clothes with natural fibers (that's why I decided to start making my own) as shops in girls sections are swarmed with plastic outfits. They even advertise them as natural often to deceive the buyer and then you look on the tag and it's plastic... So meh, unfortunately girls got so used to it that we forgot better clothes are available (well for us not so much available. You need to put a good work to find them).

Anyway, I really hope you'll be able to solve this matter, and after adulthood get into more safer and positive surrounding then your mother

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u/ladyofthesunray 2d ago

You could always just wear it around her every once in a while .. just long enough to make her think you started wearing it. You could even put it on just before leaving the house and then take it off and put it back on when getting home. It sounds like it's sentimental to her.. obviously it's not to you and you don't like it. But if like you said that just telling her no or you don't like it won't work.. then I think the only solution is to make her think you actually wear it and don't mind it. You just have to be clever about making it seem like you actually wear it out and about

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u/SuperPlays123 2d ago

how can she… not let you wash clothes? how could (or did) she stop you?

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u/personthatisapersons 17 2d ago

If I get clothes ready she'll just make me stop basically.

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u/SuperPlays123 2d ago

how? does she block the machine? threats? something else?

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u/Average_gamer1234 2d ago

Try washing it if u do it might shrink and then u can tell her its too small

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u/Krasna_Strelka 1d ago

It's made of plastic it won't shrink.

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u/mycatissenorfloof19 16 2d ago

That last bit what the hell she wouldn’t let you wear other stuff that’s insane

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u/hoom4n66 2d ago

Keep a hidden spare shirt/hoodie in your bag and change as soon as you get to school?