r/teenagers • u/ssprix • 1d ago

Meme As a dude I can confirm this is true 😭

Post image

Im lowk depressed lol

2.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

211 comments sorted by

70

u/MasterPexon 1d ago

probably since you are a 1% poster

15

u/idongafxD 18 1d ago

what the hell is a 1% poster

19

u/Flimsy_Delivery_4041 14 1d ago

It means he's in the top 1% of people with the most upvotes on his posts that he posted on this sub. The ranking resets every month or something

229

u/CardiologistFar6658 17 1d ago

hi!

231

u/Jax-Random 15 1d ago

💍 marry me

78

u/East_Sign61 1d ago

Huh......I just witnessed this.....

20

u/ChickenNuggetLord74 14 17h ago

You’re now best man! Congrats!

81

u/AcousticAltAccount2 17 1d ago

I respect you, i care for you, i will protect you, i will honour you
Did it work??

69

u/CardiologistFar6658 17 1d ago

OMG MARRY ME💍

43

u/average-teen-guy 16 1d ago

another ship sails...

41

u/demonic_slime 17 1d ago

See how she ignored the first guy who proposed to her?

28

u/CardiologistFar6658 17 1d ago

no we're already married :c

22

u/Adigger17 1d ago

classic women

29

u/AcousticAltAccount2 17 1d ago

I can tell what you're made out of, Sulphur, oxygen, copper and tellurium. Cuz you're SO CuTe(Chat rate the chemistry rizz 1-10)

32

u/CardiologistFar6658 17 1d ago

100 rizz😩
the nerd in me actually blushed (≧∇≦)

6

u/Poco_Cuffs 15 23h ago

Sodium Bromate

9

u/Ikjot13 1d ago

Blud is not made out of tellurium 💀🙏

13

u/AcousticAltAccount2 17 1d ago

You miss every shot you don't take

14

u/niklightzaheer 14 1d ago

thanks :3

9

u/PhilosopherMain2264 OLD 1d ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*breathe... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

19

u/ssprix 1d ago

Lmao

2

u/TheSmartDog_275 13 23h ago

Oh my god.

1

u/Extension-Rabbit-715 22m ago

I am impressed!

115

u/Available_Pace1043 1d ago

Woman, say hi? Scary…

9

u/Empty_Supermarkets 1d ago

Hi Jaximus from league of legends

9

u/Available_Pace1043 1d ago

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

1

u/Repulsive_End688 56m ago

Me when women

1

u/Extension-Rabbit-715 21m ago

PLEASE CENCOR THE WORD PLEASE!!!!

23

u/Dense_Use_7291 1d ago

Damn... she gotta say smth for yall

12

u/plushblading0 17 1d ago

My crush just go walking by and I’m like bazinga (I’ll be alone forever)

7

u/Dense_Use_7291 1d ago

Lmao fr fr So fucking relatable

2

u/Opposite-Benefit-804 18 16h ago

I just stared at my crush (now bf) didn't have to say anything at all, and he started liking me immediately...

2

u/Dense_Use_7291 13h ago

Damn...

Please tell me the alarm went off after ts

32

u/Consistent_Term_4804 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago

I can confirm. Also if you know how to burp when you want to

(so you can say the alphabet)

6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣

4

u/LML_IsAnOrange 13 1d ago

how do you do “w”, its too long!

2

u/UpcastDragon19 1d ago

FR 😭

2

u/LML_IsAnOrange 13 1d ago

i always get doubleU

12

u/Fearless-Educator573 1d ago

like please gals if u are attracted to a dude please say hi

cause not in a million years i am approaching you

2

u/ssprix 13h ago

This fr

2

u/05-nery 5h ago

True asf

42

u/Ben-Dover-6970 1d ago

You forgot to impress the most important point of attracting both genders , " Look attractive" .

10

u/Mysterious_Mess2297 15 1d ago

What if, hear me out… I don’t really care about that? I just care about personality and who they are

16

u/Ikjot13 1d ago

What if, hear me out... You just think that.

5

u/Mysterious_Mess2297 15 1d ago

What if, hear me out…. There are a lot of people who know who the person is is way more important than how they look.

8

u/Equivalent_Scene_592 14 1d ago

What if, heart me out....They know it but it goes out of the window when they are actually looking for a partner

2

u/Equivalent_Scene_592 14 1d ago

I MEANT HEAR I MEANT HEAR TRUST ME

5

u/Mysterious_Mess2297 15 1d ago

I read it as hear anyways :p

7

u/Glum_Consequence_208 15 1d ago

Lowkey if a girl baked for me I would drop on one knee straight away

4

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

Dude I want someone to bake for 😭

5

u/Glum_Consequence_208 15 1d ago

💍?

3

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

Y'know what, yeah

3

u/Glum_Consequence_208 15 1d ago

Hell yeah do I have your fathers blessing?

3

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

Yeah he's happy as long as I am lol

3

u/Glum_Consequence_208 15 1d ago

Oh yea, where is the wedding gonna be?

3

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

Wherever you want honestly, maybe a destination wedding type thing

2

u/Glum_Consequence_208 15 1d ago

Yea that would awsome i would love it to be in Europe

2

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

Me too! I love Europe, I think it's so pretty. Maybe Greece or Italy?

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2

u/Cock_Robin69 17 20h ago

Chat, is this fate?

7

u/Green-Day-Fan7 1d ago

How to impress me .... By starting up a conversation of bands no not kpop boy bands

2

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

What kind of bands do you like?

3

u/Green-Day-Fan7 1d ago

PATD, PTV, Green Day, MCR, Nirvana, Tenacious D, Pantera, The Beatles, KISS, ACDC, Limp Bizkit, The Ramones there's just too much to count honestly

2

u/Audrey_74 1d ago

I love MCR they're great, Nirvana, Green Day, and the Beatles too

7

u/CheeKy538 15 1d ago

And have a decent personality but yeah I agree

2

u/ssprix 1d ago

88k karma in less than a yr ong how 😭😭

1

u/CheeKy538 15 1d ago

More than a year mind you, and it’s called having too much free time

1

u/ssprix 1d ago

Eh same I got 50k karma in a month from being chronically online lmao

1

u/CheeKy538 15 1d ago

._. Holy

1

u/ssprix 23h ago

Lol im online like 4 hrs a day

6

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

Bring me lasagna at work and i'll worship you

15

u/bronzoidreal 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago

dude i’m attracted to every gender as well as being genderfluid and i still can’t find a date, the worst thing is i have 36283 crushes on people who never made eye contact with me

7

u/East_Sign61 1d ago

I don't even know that many people

2

u/Cybertheproto 1d ago

I haven’t even had one crush. Please I need to know how it feels

3

u/bronzoidreal 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago

obsession

2

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

I've had a crush on multiple video games

1

u/MetalheadGamer810 15 1d ago

Damn. That's just straight unlucky. 

6

u/Afk_FromLife 1d ago

Banana bread

8

u/PixeltzOfSpook 18 1d ago

hottest thing a girl can do is be comfortable enough around me to fart, honestly.

4

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

You know, that sounds weird at face value but when you think about it... Yeah...

2

u/PixeltzOfSpook 18 1d ago

you get it

1

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

I do

2

u/NissanGT-RR35Nismo 15 1d ago

Why is no one talking about this person's user, why do you have a pet cabbage and why do you fuck it-

3

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

6,000 people have asked me that question, and another 6,000 will

2

u/NissanGT-RR35Nismo 15 1d ago

Hol up, his writing is this fire!?

2

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

I use tumblr

2

u/NissanGT-RR35Nismo 15 1d ago

Idk what that is but you're my new friend, we'll eat tacos together :D

2

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

It's a social media for writers

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1

u/Complete_Yogurt5295 15 1d ago

Well that's kind of true

4

u/Godku1 15 1d ago

This is so fucking true. I agree with OP on this one

3

u/IntelligentAnybody55 14 1d ago

As a dude I think a 60-40 both ways with both trying to give 60% is good

3

u/Direct-Accident7812 1d ago

1% poster moment

3

u/zamasuenjoyer 1d ago

hOI!!!

1

u/East_Leadership_6945 21h ago

Are you a woman?

Or man

Or non binary

(I really just don't want to offend anyone)

1

u/zamasuenjoyer 21h ago

I am a man

2

u/East_Leadership_6945 21h ago

Ok good I got scared for a second

1

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

ahem Minus8 agrees with this context and statement

2

u/zamasuenjoyer 1d ago

I recognize that name but idk what it is

1

u/ifuckedmypetcabbage 16 1d ago

He made porn of Tem

3

u/Yum_Earth_Giggles 1d ago

Saw this in pointlesslygendered first

3

u/EnthusiasmSad8877 1d ago

It's... maybe a bit more complicated than that. They gotta share an interest you have

3

u/gahajaajsj 1d ago

Nah not true at all in my case.

3

u/Cold_Lifeguard_3112 1d ago

Nah u gotta be pretty too. I talk to all the guys in my classes but most are deeply unimpressed

1

u/ssprix 1h ago

Lol ngl the meme is kinda true tho

2

u/IdiotNation04 1d ago

Say hi works on me :P

2

u/getaloadofthisguy500 1d ago

A little more, I care for compassion and general care.

2

u/101stEcompany506th 1d ago

Oh god this is to relatable lol

I'm gonna be alone aren't I

2

u/CanamarkUnion 14 1d ago

-respect her: Press F to pay Respects

-honor her: give her a printed screenshot of Zuko from ATLA

-protect her: give her a shield

-care for her: Cuddle with her when she wants to :3

2

u/lilacs_tears 16 1d ago

as a female.

THIS IS CORRECT.

2

u/MoodOk6708 19h ago

Nah saying hi will work on me too. No boys talk to me 😭😭😭

1

u/ssprix 1h ago

Ig girls talk to me but ngl just showing an interest in me for like 45 seconds will make me fall for someone lol

1

u/MoodOk6708 59m ago

lol same

2

u/BeginningHot9069 15h ago

Hi !

1

u/ssprix 13h ago

I will respect you, I will honur you, I will protect you, I will care for you

Did it work?

2

u/05-nery 5h ago

This post has been fact checked by me 

☑️ True

2

u/No_Condition8003 5h ago

He tells the truth

2

u/Alt_the2nd_391 4h ago

Yeah this is accurate

2

u/Beautiful_Ruin_7682 1d ago

I would run away

2

u/TheSporkMan2 18 1d ago

What if I’m scared of women?

2

u/XelNigma 23h ago

This is a trap. Girls dont want simps, they want assholes that treat them poorly.

1

u/feckingelf 19 22h ago

let’s not spread this stereotype

1

u/XelNigma 21h ago

haha, its been well known and well established for decades my friend. And it will remain to be true long after you and I have both returned to the soil.

1

u/feckingelf 19 18h ago

my boyfriend is literally the sweetest human being ever. you’re just blatantly incorrect

1

u/Kind-Donut8178 10h ago

And yet you're still single

1

u/OwnEntertainer6916 16 1d ago

E X I S T

1

u/RubApprehensive1277 1d ago

thats actually so real lmfao

1

u/Rara3995 23h ago

How to impress me: 1-get a stamp 2-ink it 3-get me stamped

1

u/Key-Charity-2795 22h ago

Ain't we all brotha

1

u/M_rderer 17 21h ago

No.

1

u/Fuecoco997 20h ago

Exactly

1

u/Combat-Can6284 14 20h ago

I agree mate

1

u/Sea-Application-4873 17h ago

Are we sure the answer wasn't "No gag reflex"? 😂😂😂

1

u/Artistic_Tackle_5911 10h ago

Comments tell me its true

1

u/Kind-Donut8178 10h ago

they laughed at me :0

1

u/averagecolours 3,000,000 Attendee! 9h ago

true

1

u/NPC_6942 7h ago

I can't do any of those but I have a half eaten burger

1

u/Immediate-Purple9893 1h ago

I get attention from girl because i just do want i do, i am what i want to be when i want to be it.

1

u/Dramatic_Sky4068 39m ago

Only true for simps, to be honest. Boys also have standards.

1

u/Extension-Rabbit-715 15m ago

How to impress me

- say hi

- Have interests like me (it impresses me because no girl is going to like the Hulk or Invincible like that is genially impossible)

1

u/Hanayama10 1d ago

You can thank biology for this

For woman, it takes 39 weeks to make a child and for men 39 seconds

So a man might take almost anything to reproduce, while a woman is more picky because she has to carry the child

1

u/i_love_my_gf_so_much 1d ago

Nahhhh not for me

1

u/East_Leadership_6945 21h ago

do you love your girlfriend

1

u/Max0_o123 15 21h ago

Actually true lol

0

u/The_pop_king 14 1d ago

Nope. Not true for me.

0

u/Fracti_Cerebrum 18h ago

Who told you doing all of those things would impress a girl? Just have money and be attractive, have neither then you better give up because broke ugly dudes who put in effort towards women are just considered creeps sorry.

1

u/ssprix 1h ago

What does money have to do with this bro

1

u/Extension-Rabbit-715 17m ago

yeah like with money if you keep giving them money they will totally love you!!

-2

u/Only_Ad_7392 1d ago

Or ... BIG D1Ck. Works both ways

1

u/ssprix 1h ago

You dont have to censor bro this is reddit not yt