r/teenagers • u/ionwywh • 22h ago
Serious 1 in 6 men will suffer sexual abuse and that’s only from reported cases
they legally can’t even be rape victims in some countries too :/
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u/Ar1k1ns 18h ago
I once saw a comment saying to a sexually assaulted man (by a woman) “unless you’re gay you’re supposed to like that”…..
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u/Wojtek1250XD 17 13h ago
Interestingly this comment is both misogynistic and misandrist.
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u/Kaincee 18 9h ago
And homophobic(?)
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u/Hot_squid 9h ago
Summoning all the bigotry with this one 🙏🙏🙏
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u/Galaxykamis 9h ago edited 9h ago
I mean, they don’t seem like they’re really hateful towards the person being gay just saying if you’re gay you’re not gonna like woman which is more accepting I guess
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 16h ago edited 16h ago
That's bad but also that's misogynistic, not misandrist. Women can also be misogynistic the same way black people can be racist
Edit: These types of comments are based on the myth that men are sex crazed machines and can't help themselves. For women this means that she's blamed for "dressing slutty" and "being provocative" and for men this means people dismiss it as "well at least you had sex" or shamed for not enjoying it, but fundamentally it's two sides of the same mysoginistic coin
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u/L4zYPudDLE98 12h ago
If that's the definition of misogyny, which it seems to be judging by this comment section, what actually is misandry then? Cuz I thought that was part of it but apparently not
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u/SpaghettiBolognesee 12h ago
This comment doesn't make any sense because the words misogyny and misandry are genuinely just the same thing changing the object. Misogyny comes from the Greek μῖσος ("hatred") and γυνή ("woman"), whereas misandry comes from μῖσος ("hatred") and ἀνήρ ("man"). Misogyny can't apply to a man the same way the pronoun "she" doesn't apply to a male noun, and also vice versa for women and misandry. The pronouns "he" and "she" are essentially the same concept with the same meaning, but they cannot be switched around, and the same thing happens with misogyny/misandry.
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u/kaczy87a 12h ago
Soo its expectations that men must enjoy sex... Soo ots prejudice against men... Soo its misandry. I see your point ,but i would argue that theyre both sides of same coin. Both misandry and misogyny are exactly that in alot of cases.
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u/a_potato_ate_me 15h ago
These types of comments are based on the myth that men are sex crazed machines and can't help themselves.
So.. A misandrist myth.
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u/Darkcat9000 19 7h ago
Well it can go both ways at the end off the day
It can be both misogynistic and misandrist
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u/UpstairsOk6538 18 5h ago
It is both. Misandry and misogyny are indeed two sides of the same coin, but the coin isn't simply misogyny, it's gender fundamentalism: prejudices about each gender based on generalisations. They feed each other and are rooted in misogyny, but individually exist. For example, it is misandrist (prejudiced against men) to assume that men always consent, this leads to serious widespread harm. It is misogynistic (prejudiced against women) to assume that a woman dressing any kind of way communicates sexual consent, this leads to serious widespread harm.
On a wider structural level, they definitely do stem from the same misogynistic place of the historical positioning of women below men: "of course a man can't be raped, he's stronger and in a higher position than a woman, he has more power, he would only be in situations where he enjoyed it," and "To be a real man (worthy of your better-than-woman status) you can't be an emotional baby." "Of course a woman was asking for it, she's frail and weak and should've covered up what tempts the men, because they have that power."
However, all these specific sentiments are misandrist and misogynistic respectively and need to be addressed while we work on solving the fundamental issue of inequality.
As an aside, those comments are based on the misandrist myth (prejudiced and clearly negative assumption about men, even though that assumption stems from prejudice against women, the opinion is prejudiced against men) that men are sex-crazed machines and can't help themselves. It includes misandry, misogyny and homophobia, as OP said.
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 4h ago
If it stems from misogyny why not call it misogynistic. Seems strange to characterize it as misandrist when it's based on the notion of men being superior to women
Misogyny hurts men as well. When misogyny hurts men, we should not call that misandry
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u/UpstairsOk6538 18 3h ago
I agree with that sentiment, it's just kind of politically complicated and partially a linguistics thing.
- People consider different things misogyny, and that can contradict with the 'stems from' definition. From our equality standpoint for this definition, it's misogynistic to allow woman-only spaces and support groups because it relies on the assumption that women need protection from men. Some people would then argue for these women-only spaces as equity, not misogynistic, because statistically women do need protection from men. But the same people might argue that male-only spaces are misogynistic despite them being used to also address issues with the patriarchy because it keeps women away from men. Then some people would argue for both kinds of spaces to exist and suddenly you've got lots of gender segregation, when in some regards it might be beneficial for the groups to interact and share their experiences with misogyny.
- On a basic level, it can be confusing to hear a woman-centric word used to defend men from women. "All men should be killed because they're rapist monsters" "That's [prejudiced against women] because it comes from the notion that men are stronger than women and old excuses that rape is part of their nature so female victims should suck it up" - but the statement is much more obviously harming men and prejudiced against men rather than actively harming women (though it relies on a misogynistic past), so even though it can be rationalised as misogynistic, it's counterintuitive to use 'misogyny' there. I'd argue it's both misogynistic and misandrist.
However, I'm not the biggest fan of either word overall because of how misogyny hurts both women and men by falsely putting down women and falsely elevating men and how misandry ignores the underlying assumptions/is just used as a 'well men have issues too, so stop talking about women's issues' talking point. It's why I prefer to talk about sexism and gender fundamentalism while pointing out the systems that got to this point, which still exist (which are heavily anti-woman). Equality will solve issues for everyone (...or y'know, at least make the issues faced the same across all genders).
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 3h ago
I guess I'll put it this way. If we could magically get rid of the notion of men being superior to women, then we would have less of what you listed (DMV shelters only for women, men being characterized as exclusively violent, etc)
If we magically got rid of the notion of women being superior to men... these problems would still persist, because we didn't address the correct root cause.
Having the correct label helps guide us towards the right solutions
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u/UpstairsOk6538 18 3h ago edited 3h ago
Yes, that's the difference between systemic and individual issues. You could make every racist person in America no longer racist and racism would still be a huge issue. I already addressed this in my comment. I know. The disease is rooted in sexism against women, compounded across centuries, and has seeped into institutions. Unfortunately, the disease's symptoms suck too, and calling the symptoms "prejudice against women" when men are being hurt can lead to the neglect of support for men when they're facing issues stemming from misogyny. Because people don't realise men can suffer misogyny when the name literally means 'against female' and also is used in a very inconsistent manner in society. It's stupid, but intuitiveness is a real problem with language.
The labels of misogyny and misandry are extremely limited and both sound like they oppose each other, when they are one and the same, interlinked, rather than being individually gender-specific. They harm both men and women and assign stereotypes to both men and women, stemming from women's oppression. Beyond that, the labels both suck for distinguishing between systemic and individual issues. So yeah, the best use of these labels is in specific individual cases while pointing out what the underlying cause of the shitty case is.
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 3h ago
Feminists have been saying forever that misogyny hurts men too. The "when men are being hurt too" is known, has been known, has been said, repeatedly. There's a lot of resources out there for "why men should support feminism" that amounts to feminism is about gender equality which also benefits men.
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u/UpstairsOk6538 18 2h ago
They're right, and feminism is increasingly being portrayed as gender equality rather than woman-focused, which is great. I've also seen 'the patriarchy hurts men' popping up more, which is also true.
Misogyny, as a word, isn't there yet. It is still pretty much exclusively used when women are suffering from men's actions, and when things like male suicide rate are brought up, the word misogyny is not in discussion. This should probably change, but until it does, misandry is the word being used to describe the symptoms that are expressed as prejudices against men.
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u/rotem8888 16 10h ago
Now imagine if someone said to a woman unless you're a lesbian you're supposed to like that
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u/Shonky_Honker 21h ago
I’m a male victim of sexual violence and I need you to realize that the reason we aren’t taken seriously isn’t because of misandry, it’s because of misogyny. Under misogyny men also suffer becuase if you don’t fit the cookie cutter mold of what misogyny considers a man you aren’t taken seriously. Female violators aren’t taken seriously because of misogyny, thus male victims aren’t either, when you portray women as the weak submissive gender, heinous actions committed by women will get overlooked significantly more than actions committed by men. Can yall please stop exploiting our trauma for a war against something that doesn’t affect us the way you think it does???
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u/urmomsplug6969 19h ago
the two replies proving your point. I'm sorry that people don't take your experience seriously and use it as a statistic to say weird things. I hope you're doing okay now
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u/Shonky_Honker 17h ago
Thank you. I’m doing well thanks. It just irks me to see men blame women for problems caused by the patriarchy, all while using my trauma as a political prop. I understand that op doesn’t have bad intentions, but mislabeling things like this only goes to cause gender wars and hurt more people and never actually fix the issues
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u/spaceanimall 15h ago
Yes! Anyone who thinks only women suffer under the patriarchy needs to think a little deeper. Men are very much victims too, and we shouldn’t hate each other just because of this fucked up system we were all born into.
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u/Shonky_Honker 15h ago
From my replies I have noticed the trend of
If women get away with something easier than men it is misandry.
Which is just a blatant misunderstanding of what misandry and misogyny is
I even have a guy here pretending that feminism isn’t a form of egalitarianism because it has fem in the name.
It has become clear that these dumb fucks can not comprehend that misogyny and misandry aren’t just “man good women bad” or vise versa, they’re systemic societal issues that come from unbalanced social hierarchies.
Just because men aren’t the center of the individual problem, doesn’t mean misogyny isn’t part of it.
Istg this is the same type of people that would say the left hates men because men on the left have to acknowledge male privilege exists
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u/One_Category7762 14h ago
Yeah, a lot of people seem to confuse the ways men suffer under patriarchy with misandry. No, you being discouraged to talk about your feelings isnt because of misandry, its because of misogyny. It really is a shame because it leads to a right wing talking points and eludes to women hating as the cure for the issues men face in a misogynistic society. Like, the idea that you are ugly, fat, short or whatever insecure label is put on you and thus undeserving of love is because of misogyny and survival of the fittest mindset, not misandry. You are told you are unlovable by society and men, not the women around you. If all these "incels" just realised the problem is misogyny, not women, they could all be happy and not miserable.
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u/Shonky_Honker 14h ago
I feel like the feelings one is literally so obvious it baffles me people don’t recognize it. Who would’ve guessed that when you deem emotions feminine men end up shamed for showing them???
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u/Chesseburter 19 9h ago
Wait, saying Misandry is bad is political and somehow causes gender wars? How?
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u/Fredouille77 3h ago
Fwiw, I'd even argue much of the misandry I've seen has been patriarchal anyways, besides the very super fringe man hating women who are adamant that like all men are bad.
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u/potato_rights 18 2h ago edited 2h ago
Women contribute to the patriarchy, even while holding less power in it. Some people want to purely blame women, which isn't accurate. We're all culpable in upholding the patriarchy and patriarchal values in society. I think Misandry includes forms of misogyny.
Misandry is the "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex)." I think this prejudice includes contempt for men expressing femininity that would not incur such feelings if a women expressed the same femininity. While it is misogyny and a hatred of femininity playing a part in discouraging men from expressing femininity, I'd argue it's also misandry as it is explicitly men being discouraged. If some people would view it as okay in a woman, but not a man, then misandry is also involved as a man is essentially being disproved of by virtue of them being a man.
Prejudice is complex, and I think there is a level of intersectionality in this stuff rather than it purely being misogyny. Of course, all of it is a result of the patriarchy.
I think victimhood is also gendered as feminine. From domestic abuse to sexual assault, the victims portrayed in media are predominantly women. A man in being a victim is perceived as feminine and thus seen as less of a man and person both by sitting in a role many internally view as feminine and by being victimised by a woman, as such surely couldn't happen to the dominant male sex, so a man who has been victimised by a woman surely cannot be a true man (/s obviously). I don't mean to try to alter your feelings or thought relative to your experience with that, but speaking in general I feel this to be true for many male victims and an aspect of why male victims aren't taken seriously.
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u/sexypanini6 17 15h ago
Thank you so much for this <3
I'm so sorry of what you've been through, I hope you're doing better now :)
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u/Shonky_Honker 15h ago
Thank you for the support! I’m doing much better now than I was years ago. I’m grateful that at least in a way I was able to come out a better person due to my experiences, like yeah what happened was fucked up, but now I have a deeper understanding of these complex issues
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u/SoulfulSnow 13h ago
This is so fucking accurate i'm so glad this is the top comment
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u/Clintwood_outlaw OLD 7h ago
I'm also a male victim, and I've noticed it's a strong mix of both. Misogyny and misandry are very closely related, and often times can't exist without the other, due to societal gender dynamics
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u/Gonna_Die_Now 18 8h ago
THANK YOU! THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE BUT I GET DOWNVOTED EVERY TIME
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u/SvitlanaLeo 12h ago
I disagree.
If a person thinks that not all men are masculine enough, they objectively hate what men objectively are. They objectively hate men. It can be related to misogyny, but it represents hatred of men.
If hatred of men does not include hatred of masculinity, it is still hatred of men and fits the definition of misandry.
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u/kaczy87a 12h ago edited 12h ago
I think the problem is that people are reluctant to realize misandry and misogyny mirror themselfes a lot of the time.
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u/Glass-Dream-8756 19 9h ago
This. I believe misandry is real, but cannot exist without misogyny which it sprouted from.
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u/Ernadski 17 7h ago
I disagree on that part, misandry would definitely exist withous misogyny, claiming it as a " self defence " thing and justifying doesn't help
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u/Ernadski 17 7h ago
So am I, but misandry is definitely one of the reasons, a lot of women only see themselves as victims and not men
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u/smashingwindshields 16 4h ago
Thank you for saying this! I am so sorry about what happened to you. I wish they would realize that a lot of what they consider misandry is [caused by] misogyny. I wish you well and i hope you can heal
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u/Chesseburter 19 9h ago
To me, it’s both misogyny and misandry. Why else does feminism just so happen to ignore it?
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u/Silent-Sky956 5h ago
Why are women expected to fix men's issues? Would you expect black people to fix white people's issues?
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u/candypopsicles 15h ago
Try working in a kitchen. For 3 years my asshole and cock were touched daily by several people. Including women. It wasn’t cool or welcome and I used to call my kids mom crying about it when I’d drink too much. And I just realized this is the teenagers subreddit lmao why the fuck is that suggested in my feed.
Y’all don’t let what happened to me happen to you.
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u/Odd-Spare161 7h ago
I'm also wondering why this sub came up in my feed. I have kids who are teenagers, lol.
I'm sorry for what happened to you. That should never have happened. I hope you have found a better road to travel, and I hope that you find some measure of peace.
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u/Cock_Robin69 17 20h ago
"I want male victims to be treated with the same compassion as female ones"
"So you're an incel then?" - most misandrist, low-life, dumbasses.
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u/sexypanini6 17 11h ago
In my experience, most of the people I see who are mocking men for speaking out about their abuse are other men. I've barely ever seen women do it. Idk tho maybe its just my experiences.
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u/potato_rights 18 1h ago
I do see a lot of men do it, but in recent times anytime I've seen a tiktok where a man is talking about being a victim of abuse or sa, the comments are filled with women asking "What was he wearing" and things along those lines. I know they're making fun of men saying that with women, but in doing so in the comments of male victims they're literally just behaving as those men do.
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u/Jhilixie 8h ago
In my personal experience online and offline, I have always seen men mocking male victims than women
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u/Antique_Painting4789 20h ago
Feminist helps males, too. Like rape victims. You do realize the definition of feminism, right??? Supporting feminism and being a feminist is supporting all rape victims, and a benefit to EVERYONE... It just says "feminism" since women are so much more likely to overall get the short end of the stick. Wtf?
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u/No-Somewhere-1336 13h ago
thats what i think too but then some random radical "feminist" always tries to say feminism is only "enpowering women"
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u/Wojtek1250XD 17 13h ago
The problem are misandrists that hide under feminism. The loud minority, once again making shit worse for everyone (ffs, where is this NOT the case?).
There will always be people that will try taking things to the extreme.
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u/somerandom995 11h ago
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u/_WutzInAName_ 6h ago
More examples below of feminists who are dedicated to tearing men down and promoting female superiority. We should do a better job calling this behavior out and condemning it:
“I’m actually not at all concerned about innocent men losing their jobs over false sexual assault/harassment allegations,” "If some innocent men’s reputations have to take a hit in the process of undoing the patriarchy, that is a price I am absolutely willing to pay." – Emily Lindin
"The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race." - Sally Miller Gearhart
"To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo." - Valerie Solanas
“We are, as a sex, infinitely superior to men. “ – Elizabeth Cady Stanton
“We should stop putting women in jail, for anything. “ - Patricia O'Brien
“Men are rapists, batterers, plunderers, killers.” – Andrea Dworkin
“It is masculinity itself that has become the problem… The problem is not toxic masculinity; it’s that masculinity is toxic… simply not compatible with liberty and justice for all" – Lisa Wade
"Do we need men? Men are useless!" - Hosts of The View, the #1 daytime talk show
“Time is short. Change is needed. And women are smarter than men. And the men can’t complain because they are outnumbered today.” - Michelle Obama
“Despite all the challenges we face, I remained convinced that, yes, the future is female.” And “Women have always been the primary victims of war.” - Hillary Clinton
"Kill all men... the coronavirus isn't killing men fast enough." - Clementine Ford
“The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men." ~ Sharon Stone
"I feel that 'man-hating' is an honourable and viable political act.” ~ Robin Morgan
"All men are rapists and that's all they are" ~ Marilyn French
"ALL men keep ALL women in a state of fear" ~ Susan Brownmiller
“So men… Don’t run for office. Don’t be in charge of anything. We have every right to hate you. You have done us wrong. #BecausePatriarchy.” - Suzanna Danuta Walters
And from many unnamed feminists, we’ve heard these slogans and gendered terms to turn public opinion against men, trivialize the problems that men face, get extra female privilege, avoid accountability, and deflect attention from the harms they cause:
“Misandry doesn’t exist.”
“Misogyny kills; misandry annoys.”
“Not all men, but always a man.”
“Men did it to themselves.”
“Believe all women.”
“Kill all men.”
“Toxic masculinity”, “male violence”, “male rage”, “the patriarchy”, “male entitlement”, “mansplaining”, “male privilege”, “the manosphere”, “manteruption’, “man keeping”, “male fragility”, “man spreading”
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u/i-forgot-my-sandwich 16h ago
Hey comment section <3 let’s not be pedantic about the definition of Misandry Vs feminism it’s important to recognize there is a difference and just because misandry puts on a feminism hat doesn’t make it feminism. The real problem here is how male SA dismissed we can all do our part to make this better for everyone. Let’s not gender this. United we stand divide we fall.
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u/itsmehii- 11h ago
This ^ there's so many people here who are calling feminists misandristic when real feminists know it's about equality not women being better.
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u/No_Investment8845 1h ago
Well unfortunately equality is far away if ever 🥀 people ignoring actual advantages in favor of supporting arguments
Its truly over
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u/Prestigious_Tank7454 18h ago
Both a mix of misandry and misogyny is the cause of this, the whole culture of a guy getting laid is a "good thing" regardless of ANY other circumstances, not only do people not realize they're victims but they get reinforced in such culture instead of being taken seriously when reporting, rape is bad, for everyone.
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u/Plane-Ad-6389 17h ago
This is the best reply I've seen. Both of these ideas are to blame, there's no question to it. People just need to be kinder to each other, and stop pretending like each individual is the main character.
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u/a_potato_ate_me 15h ago
Its like how two chemicals can be bad on their own, but mixing them makes them lethal. Yeah, both are bad on their own, but when they team up like they do on topics like male rape they're 10x more dangerous
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u/Tough-Ad-3255 7h ago
Do you think this thing of it being a “good thing” that any guy is getting laid is a product of misandry in society, or a product of a patriarchal society?
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u/Prestigious_Tank7454 6h ago
This part? Yes patriarchy of course, like it or not it still lingers today
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u/Tough-Ad-3255 6h ago
So then, is the issue at hand actually misandry? Or is the issue at hand actually patriarchy?
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u/Yum_Earth_Giggles 19h ago
Yeah that sucks that people think of women as so weak and submissive that they can’t rape men because of misogyny. Misogyny really hurts men too
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u/Darkwolf69420 19 18h ago
I really don't get why some people can't fathom that both can exist, like I've seen people say that because misoginy is typically much worse than misandry, misandry isn't real and doesn't matter
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u/senpaiwaifu247 18h ago
Male sexual abuse and rape victim here
It’s entirely rooted in misogyny.
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u/NotAlcas 9h ago
Please don't let misandry become an excuse for misoginy and discrimination. Remember that the worst ideologies in history used the same tools to gather consensus and marginalize groups they didn't like.
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u/EveningHistorical435 18h ago
Only support the good faith feminism that aims to bring women to the same level as men
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u/Wojtek1250XD 17 13h ago
Add to that how women disproportionally get the child in divorce cases and the father almost always gets tasked with alimony.
In Poland it was up to 96% iIrc.
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u/WeDontTalkAboutIt23 11h ago
Got roofied on my vacation to Texas, ended up sleeping with this girl, casually mentioned this experience to my now girlfriend when she was asked why I don't drink and she kinda helped me realize that wasn't a hookup that was sexual assault.
It kinda just happens sometimes, and some people aren't used to looking at it from that perspective.
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u/sexypanini6 17 17h ago
dude you need to understand that the discrimination in law around sex crimes and violence by women is not bc of misandry but bc of misogyny. Misandry is a real issue bc it spreads hate and its not good at all, but these issues are caused by misogyny not misandry.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 13h ago
dude you need to understand that the discrimination in law around sex crimes and violence by women is not bc of misandry but bc of misogyny.
It's because of both. Misogyny leads to misandry.
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u/sexypanini6 17 13h ago
...yeah, so its because of misogyny. Misogyny is a systemic issue, misandry is an issue prevalent on some corners of the internet. It has very few real life affects.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 13h ago
Misandry is present in the justice system of most western countries.
Whether or not it is because of misogyiny, it's there, it has unfairly affected thousands of men; it's real outside of the internet, and it is one of the many problems we have to solve in this world.
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u/sexypanini6 17 13h ago
Can you give me some examples of misandry present in the justice system?
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 12h ago
Everytime the woman gets the custody of the children, even though the father would have been a better option.
Everytime a man is sentenced to jail because he was falsely accused of rape. There is a bias against men (and even more so, black men) in these scenarios, where proof should be required.
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u/sexypanini6 17 12h ago
For the custody thing, you're right but let me explain why they do this. For generations women have been determined to be the primary parent. Women were housewives for the longest time, they were the primary caretakers and the father was barely involved in his kids lives. Obviously, the justice system was molded around this stereotype that women are the primary caregivers for the children, something that was determined by the patriarchy, hence a result of misogyny.
False rape cases are absolutely horrendous and disgusting, but they are pretty rare. Even real rapists usually get away with it and barely get any consequences for their crime. I mean, look at the current president of the US. I'm not saying false rape accusations are ok or are not a big deal (they are absolutely a bug deal) but they're not very prevalent at all. Men are actually wayyy more likely to be raped than to be falsely accused of rape.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 12h ago
something that was determined by the patriarchy, hence a result of misogyny.
Yes. Misogyiny leads to misandry.
but they are pretty rare
And?
Look up how many women have been sentenced to jail for years because of a false rape claim. Good luck finding a case.
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u/sexypanini6 17 12h ago
I mean yeah ok, misogyny leads to misandry but the court case thing isn't misandry at all?
I agree that the woman should be jailed bc of a false rape claim (and its a crime btw!) but you need to understand that this isn't a prevalent issue at all, you're better off advocating for more people to pay attention to male survivors of rape.
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u/kaczy87a 12h ago
There is also men only military service ,but the other guy is right. Misandry and misogyny are part of same coin , depending on the view.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 12h ago
I agree that the woman should be jailed bc of a false rape claim (and its a crime btw!) but you need to understand that this isn't a prevalent issue at all, you're better off advocating for more people to pay attention to male survivors of rape.
More than one problem can be tackled at the same time.
I mean yeah ok, misogyny leads to misandry but the court case thing isn't misandry at all?
It is. It's discrimination against men, even if it's rooted in misogyny.
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 4h ago
I thought women got custody most of the time because men don't contest the custody going to the woman most of the time.
I'm pretty sure courts try as much as they can to keep the father in the loop if he wants to be, to the point where if it does go to court, they've found that the courts favor the father
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u/Cool-Attorney867 8h ago
False accusations don't happen a lot. A man is more likely to be assualted or raped than falsaly accused of it.
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 18 8h ago
And? Does that make it any less horrible? Does that make it not matter?
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u/Cool-Attorney867 7h ago
No. You seem to care more about false accusations than the fact that a man could be a victim of a disgusting crime like SA or rape....
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u/Silent-Sky956 5h ago
Everytime the woman gets the custody of the children, even though the father would have been a better option.
Most fathers don't request custody. Think about how many single mothers there are out there compared to single fathers.
When fathers request custody, they get it at a similar rate to mothers.
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u/that_7183 15h ago
I feel like if feminism was renamed to like "equalism" or sm then loads more men would be supporters and there would be a lot less radical people who use it as an excuse for misandry
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u/Silent-Sky956 5h ago
No, because feminism is about the liberation of women from patriarchy. The end result of that is equality, but men disagree.
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u/that_7183 4h ago
But if the goal is equality, why not make it about being equal? Guys are victims of the patriarchy too, I'm all for liberation, but would you support masculism if guys were oppressed?
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u/CountyKyndrid 8h ago
Nah, those assholes would still be shitheads, but we'd probably have been so muddled in goal women would still not be allowed to own credit cards or get divorced from abusive partners.
Kinda crazy to me that women couldn't have a credit card until the mid 70s, nor could they divorce their husbands everywhere in the US until 2010
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u/that_7183 4h ago
Oh damn yeah tbf I get that, but I feel like eventually we need to move towards equality, beacuse the goal is too be equal, while many people are muddled into thinking women should "get revenge for the patriarchy" and be on top.
Obvs thats not all women, but ik more radical "feminists" irl than abusive guys in my experience
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u/ReptilesAreGreat 3h ago
Isn’t that egalitarianism
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u/that_7183 3h ago
Wait what?
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u/ReptilesAreGreat 3h ago
Dictionary
egalitarianism /ɪˌɡaləˈtɛːrɪənɪz(ə)m/
noun
the doctrine that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities.
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u/that_7183 3h ago
That's cool, but isn't that just what feminism is meant too be? (Thx for enlightening me btw)
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u/squid3011 14 14h ago
yeah, i got raped once by a man and once by a woman, and the responses are always either that i was lucky or that im gay and wanted it.
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u/sexypanini6 17 4h ago
I'm so so sorry that happened to you, you absolutely didn't deserve that and I hope you are able to heal from it and never go through something like that again.
Just out of curiosity, can I ask who said these things more, men or women? I'm absolutely not trying to start any type of gender war, this is just for me to get an opinion and learn more about the world.
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u/YourTypicalSensei 17 18h ago
I 100% agree. I think men and women should be treated equally. It makes me sad when things like "All men [x and y]" or "Men just want [bad thing]" or "Always a man that does [bad thing]". It really isn't all of us. There's plenty of wonderful guys I know who would never hurt a fly. I think we could just stop generalizing people (especially if it's the other half of the world's population) and understand nuance
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u/sexypanini6 17 4h ago
When almost every single woman has had a bad experience with a man, its very difficult for them to not be wary when talking to a man. Its almost a reflex to first be cautious around a man than to trust him immediately bc women never know what type of man he is. That's usually where all the generalizations come from.
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u/Lightyear18 15h ago
Because when men are getting abused, women will usually laugh and make excuses by saying “there’s something he must of done”.
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u/ftmaggot 11h ago
Every time I see a news article about a young boy that got SA'd by his older female teacher, the comments are filled with MEN who say shit like "I wish that was me" or "he's gay, he should've enjoyed it" etc and women are always sympathetic and feel bad for the boy.
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u/Lightyear18 10h ago
Both things can be true at the same time. Just because I’m calling out some women, doesn’t mean there aren’t shitty men.
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u/YhomTorke1 17 7h ago
Just like women can be misogynystic, men can be misandristic. I've seen enough men and women say that just as I've seen enough men and women vote against women's rights..
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u/lamonsteranthony 22h ago
every 6th man is crazy tho, i thought its not that much
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u/sexypanini6 17 15h ago
Its important to note that most of the perpetrators are male. Women can 100% rape men and disgusting women exist, but when you make a post like this with statistics and essentially keep mentioning women, that makes it seem like most of the perpetrators are women when they in fact aren't.
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u/Vincent_Gitarrist 19 15h ago
Women just get away with it more often. It took almost a full year to make my (female) abuser face justice. She got a temporary work suspension and it wasn't until a year later, when around ~10 previous victims also came out and testified, that she got a 2-year prison sentence.
I don't want to make assumptions but my intuition tells me that the case would have been more swift if the abuser was male.
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u/sexypanini6 17 14h ago
I'm so sorry you had to go through that and I'm glad your abuser got a prison sentence, even if its not nearly enough time as she deserves.
You're probably right that the case would've been more swift if it was a male abuser, but the reality is even male rapists tend to get away with it most of the time. Female rapists get away with it even more. The world is just messed up. Its important to understand though, that all of this is as a result of misogyny, which tells society that women are weak and harmless creatures and its not possible for a man to be hurt by one.
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u/YhomTorke1 17 7h ago
Its important to understand though, that all of this is as a result of misogyny, which tells society that women are weak and harmless creatures
Or misandry, which tells society that men are emotionless, lust driven creatures that find joy in only sex and sports. (Or, hear me out, it's actually a result of both misogyny and misandry)
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u/Melodic_Bathroom1945 14h ago
I hate a large portion of men but I will always see and want to remove the misogyny involved in the justice system surrounding both women and men.
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u/OtherwiseFlamingo448 13h ago
Exposure is power. The ones on top doesnt want to lose the power and attention they're enjoying. That means no sharing.
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u/Key-Charity-2795 9h ago
Yeah, it is what it is ig. Never happened to me, but I'm only15, so that might be why. Shit sucks
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u/FemboyUwU67 3h ago
I'm 17 and girls in my classes have sexually assaulted me, and no one gave a crap, and then I seen a comment earlier about how "misandry doesn't exist" when it does, it's just that almost no one speaks up bc they know it won't help
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u/Key-Charity-2795 2h ago
Damn, sorry dude. Idek what to say bro. I wonder why it's like that now. Guys can also be SAd, and Idk why people don't get that. I see a bunch of stories about it, and it's crazy to me.
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u/FemboyUwU67 2h ago
Yea, I actually told the teacher about how she grabbed my "thing" (for lack of better pg term) and the teacher said "your a man tough it out" which was some bullshit to me
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u/Key-Charity-2795 2h ago
That's what the stories said to. I guess a lot of dudes have similar experiences. I'm too chopped to get a girl to even see me. For lack of a better comment, I'll pray for ya brotha
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u/FemboyUwU67 2h ago
Ty, (I'm pretty chopped to ngl, though I remember the girl was a bit.. for lack of better term, wide)
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u/Key-Charity-2795 2h ago
Nah, I woulda called her a whale bro. She don't deserve that respect
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u/FemboyUwU67 2h ago
Just wanna avoid fat people sensitivity mobs lol
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u/Key-Charity-2795 2h ago
I feel ya. I have some looser thoughts on body weight, but then sayin that skinny is ugly is too far for me personally
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u/FemboyUwU67 2h ago
Fair, I prefer personality honestly, but also prefer femboys lol
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u/Danny_The_Dino_77 3h ago
It's almost as if... both opinions can be valid... at the same time...
(To anyone who disagrees with OP)
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u/RememberMe_85 9h ago
1) Women’s Protest Against Gender-Neutral Rape Laws in 2013
1)a) Context: Justice Verma Committee (Post-Delhi Gang Rape, 2012)
1)a)i) In response to the brutal 2012 Delhi gang rape, the Justice Verma Committee was formed to overhaul India’s sexual violence laws. Among its recommendations was expanding the definition of rape and introducing gender neutrality in certain laws (e.g., sexual assault, not just rape).
1)a)ii) However, several women’s rights groups protested strongly against these gender-neutral proposals—especially those related to the definition of rape. They argued this would undermine the protection of women, who are overwhelmingly the victims of such crimes.
1)b) Who Protested?
1)b)i) Over 80 feminist and civil society organizations issued joint statements, submitted memorandums, and held public forums opposing the gender-neutral proposals. This included:
All India Democratic Women’s Association (AIDWA)
National Federation of Indian Women (NFIW)
Jagori
Saheli Women’s Resource Centre
Lawyers Collective (founded by Indira Jaising)
1)b)ii) These groups were involved in public demonstrations, press briefings, and panel discussions, voicing opposition to the UPA government’s Criminal Law (Amendment) Ordinance, 2013, which introduced some gender-neutral terminology for sexual offences like “sexual assault” but stopped short of making “rape” itself gender-neutral.
1)c) Why Did They Oppose Gender-Neutral Rape Laws?
1)c)i) Asymmetry of Victimhood: They argued the vast majority of sexual assault victims are women, and making laws gender-neutral could “blur the power dynamics” and dilute victim-centric protections.
1)c)ii) Risk of Misuse as a Defense Tool: Gender neutrality, they warned, might allow male perpetrators to allege victimhood as a legal tactic.
1)c)iii) Societal Power Imbalance: India’s deep patriarchy, they said, means men and women are not equal before society, so the law cannot be “equal” in abstraction. Neutrality in wording doesn’t ensure neutrality in outcome.
1)c)iv) Erasure of Women’s Lived Experience: Groups feared that a push for symmetry in the law would erase the structural gendered nature of rape—which, they emphasized, is about domination, not just physical violation.
1)d) Direct Quotes and Public Statements
1)d)i) In a 2013 statement by the National Network of Autonomous Women’s Groups, they wrote:
“The introduction of gender neutrality in sexual assault laws will allow the oppressor and the oppressed to be treated as equals in a society where inequality is systemic.”
1)d)ii) Flavia Agnes, a legal scholar and women's rights lawyer, argued in The Hindu:
“While we appreciate the desire for equality, it should not be achieved by erasing the very real and gendered experiences of violence faced by women in India.”
1)e) Outcome
1)e)i) Due to this widespread feminist opposition, the Criminal Law (Amendment) Act, 2013 retained rape as a gender-specific offence (i.e., woman as victim, man as perpetrator), though other forms of sexual assault were broadened.
1)e)ii) The Justice Verma Committee's gender-neutral recommendations were partially rejected, reflecting the impact of women's protests and expert pushback.
2) Summary
Aspect Detail
Year 2013 Who protested? 80+ feminist organizations including AIDWA, NFIW, Jagori, Lawyers Collective Main protest method Public statements, legal memoranda, press conferences, forums Core objection Gender neutrality ignores structural power imbalance; weakens protections for women Impact Rape law stayed gender-specific; other sexual offences made broader, but with caution
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u/Totoques22 19 5h ago
Here before someone calls you an incel for not blindly following feminist groups or arguing that they don’t fight for equal rights
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u/Synglich 7h ago
The ammount of people in here just brushing off misandry bc apparently it's misogyny now 💔
No it's bc of both, stop letting misandry be dusted off like that.
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u/Otherwise-Vanilla901 15h ago
Another point is if a woman makes a false claim of rape on a man his life is immediately ruined and they are arrested however flip it to a man makes a report factual or not about a woman that raped them the woman may be questioned but she will likely have an army of supporters and the legal system that will protect her and try to flip it back on the man.
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u/itsmehii- 11h ago
Can I just say that lots of female victims don't get listened to either. That being said, I completely agree that male victims should be taken seriously
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u/Cozy_Kale 18 17h ago edited 16h ago
1 in 6 men will suffer sexual abuse
You also forgot to add that "most of the perpretators are also men".
It feels like you are subtly blaming women and feminism for mens behaviour against other men?
I love my brother, I would die for him and I guess most mothers will do the same for their kids. Regardless of gender, you are pushing a false perception of reality as a whole.
hey legally can’t even be rape victims in some countries
In some countries women barely have rights
*edit typo
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u/t1nt3dc14w 14 16h ago
Where did they blame women?
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u/Cozy_Kale 18 16h ago
Misandry, crime against them by women, not serious issue, 1 in 6 men, discriminated. BUT we should support femminism.
Also check OP posts, he posts MRAs propaganda like considering radical feminists as the current feminism.
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 13h ago
Can I also add that there are some countries that don't consider men to be rape victims because they define sexual assault and rape to be different... so men can be sexually assaulted but they cannot be raped. Without knowing the specific context it just seems like a very misleading thing to write
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u/Cozy_Kale 18 13h ago
You guys love to play who got it worse huh. Should I share a % of victim of rape that got pregnant and had to go thru abortion and all the damage it brings? Should I share what is the biological identity of those that can make someone pregnant? Why in society there is not a definition for that? Why in most countries there is no an additional charge? Are you seriously telling that the consequences are identical?
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u/Totoques22 19 5h ago
« Men aren’t even recognized as rape victims but actually women have it worse » is a delusional take
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 3h ago
"aren't even recognized as rape victims ... But ARE recognized as sexual assault victims" this is just some weird definitions thing
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u/MasterpieceNew7000 4h ago
No I'm agreeing with you, like if the post is really a "woe is me, men can only legally be sexually assaulted but not raped" that seems nonsensical. If male rape victims are just classified as SA victims, what's the big deal?
I just don't know if this is the correct reading of OP, or whether there's a country out there where men can't be raped and also cannot be sexually assaulted? Then I would have more sympathy
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u/YhomTorke1 17 7h ago
And in some countries men legally cant be raped plus it's seen as a way bigger social taboo for men to admit being raped by a woman... so just maybe, the numbers are extremely skewed in one direction because the other direction isn't allowed tp shine through.
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u/Magos_M0dul0 16h ago
Cool! Now go tell r/feminism r/twoxchromosomes and all the other femcel subs
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u/itsmehii- 11h ago
Bro what these subs are pro women but you need to know there's a big difference between misandry and feminism. Real feminists like me will believe that it's about equality, not women being "better".
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u/Ionisation3yay 10h ago
Yeah that is very much true, feminism and misandry are two things, but sadly r/feminism isnt feminism anymore, its misandry now
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u/Impossible-Dog-1793 10h ago
Feminism in Europe looks like a gun without ammo. Maybe we need feminism in Afghanistan, Syria, Iran, etc. What women can't do, men does in 1st world countries
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u/Cool-Attorney867 8h ago
I've also seen a weird trend where if a guy got assualted or raped by a woman it's seen as lucky by a lot of men, ESPECIALLY if the rapist/abuser was an attractive woman. Then all of a sudden the guy should be happy???? This prob goes both ways but I've seen it happen way more with men and it's concerning..
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u/FemboyUwU67 3h ago
As a guy that disgusts me, an I've never seen this trend (thank God) why would anyone regardless of gender want that?
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u/Electronic-Coach7687 16 4h ago
I live in India. You legally cannot commit ANY form of SA here as a man, not just rape. 😭
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u/Many-Refuse-6060 2h ago
Fr tho, cause misandry is a huge problem, but some people are acting like misogynism is gone. Let's acknowledge both and not stay at each other's throats please
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u/SpecificLegitimate52 14 2h ago edited 2h ago
Misogyny is still vastly more of a problem. Yes misandry is obviously awful and should be an equally punishable offence in cases of rape etc. But misogyny is way worse of a problem that hugely affects misandry existing, in both its existence and acceptance (not saying either should be accepted obviously)
Also the majority of the sexual abuse to toward males are done by men. But yes some is done by women, and thats not okay, but misandry isn’t as big of an issue
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u/CielMorgana0807 2h ago
Misandry and misogyny are just 2 sides of the same coin. If something is sexist to men, then it’s most likely also sexist to women. And vice versa.
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u/me_dicen_juli 10h ago
Mm why mention rape by women on men but not mention that is still MEN raping other men. Ofc women still rape but we cant ignore that still most sex crimes are done by men.
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u/kaczy87a 10h ago
... Because the post is about male victims?
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u/cream_paimon 7h ago
And how does that relate to the gender of the perpetrator?
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u/kaczy87a 6h ago
Youre right , I was incorrect in my comment. Tho still OC didnt provide info for their claim.
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u/me_dicen_juli 10h ago
Yeah ik and im talking about male victims of males. The post makes it seem like most male victims of sexual crimes are victims of women, when they’re victims of other men most times.
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u/kaczy87a 10h ago
Depends on defnition used. Can you please provide the one in study youre basing your opinion on?
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u/QuickSolved_ 6h ago
You're wrong.
In one CDC finding from 2010-2012, ~1.267 million men were made to penetrate, nearly matching the ~1.270 million women who reported complete/attempted rape in the same timeframe. 79.2% of men who were made to penetrate someone else against their will report female perpetrators.
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u/-redaxolotol-1981 17 9h ago
And are you not gonna mention the fact that most of the people who abuse men are.... also men?
There is clearly a massive issue with men when it comes to crime, and they vastly out perform women in commiting said crimes.
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u/QuickSolved_ 6h ago
You're wrong.
In one CDC finding from 2010-2012, ~1.267 million men were made to penetrate, nearly matching the ~1.270 million women who reported complete/attempted rape in the same timeframe. 79.2% of men who were made to penetrate someone else against their will report female perpetrators.
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u/-redaxolotol-1981 17 6h ago
What about inappropriate touching and groping? I always hear about sexual abuse circles by men against little boys. And this isn't something only in one country, its world wide. Look at the mass church scandal of young men and boys being abused by male priests and even the practice of bacha bazi in South Asia.
And it's not just SA, most murders are men. Most petty crimes are men. Most serial killers are men. Most burgulerys are by men. Most serious crimes and shootings are men. I'm not saying women are saints by any means but there is a very clear disparitiy in which gender commits more crime
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u/13-eggo 12h ago
Being against misandery is feminism goddamit. True feminism is gender equality where people, no matter their gender identity can feel free and safe to exist and express themselves as they are.
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u/Totoques22 19 5h ago
Which is why feminist lobbies argue against sheltered for homeless men in favor of Homeless shelters for women in California where 75% of shelters is already exclusively for women and men represent 80% of the homeless ?
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u/molasses_disaster 10h ago
Feminism is equal rights for genders, that includes men
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u/Totoques22 19 5h ago
Which is why feminist lobbies argue against sheltered for homeless men in favor of Homeless shelters for women in California where 75% of shelters is already exclusively for women and men represent 80% of the homeless ?
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u/No-Director-6738 6h ago
The further you scroll down in this comments section, the more messed up the comments get
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