r/teenagers • u/cindyswee • 1d ago

Meme lets hear y'all crazy abilities

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5.9k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

3.4k comments sorted by

796

u/FooDerr 1d ago

He is now okay at drifting in BeamNG

185

u/VorticalHeart44 1d ago

Finally something positive

50

u/x0sk 16 1d ago

He is not really good at it but he would be ok...ish on drifting

Like average level

17

u/Areif 20h ago

“CrIPPLiNg AnXiEtY & DePrESsIoN” Every. Single. Time.

So edgy!

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21

u/Cameron_Playz 1d ago

Being ok a drifting in beamng is impressive

11

u/vpizdek13 23h ago

How about making cursed ass config like a van with 2000 hp

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4

u/TheShadowDeath 1d ago

Define though. Keyboard, Controller, or Wheel? I do keyboard :D

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863

u/Ok-Perception3503 1d ago

I haven't told anyone yet.... but I actually have a brain sometimes its small but its there trust

228

u/No-Distribution-2805 1d ago

Omg I also have a brain, twins

103

u/Ok-Perception3503 1d ago

:0 no way

65

u/No-Distribution-2805 1d ago

But I can only use it for 8 hours, my parents don't allow me ✌️😞

45

u/Ok-Perception3503 1d ago

Lucky! I get mine for an hour every month :(

39

u/No-Distribution-2805 1d ago

Really? I think there's the free year trial for new users

28

u/Ok-Perception3503 1d ago

:0 omg thank you i was really starting to lose it there how can i get it

19

u/No-Distribution-2805 1d ago

Mine is from Microsoft, so I just go to Google and type free trial

15

u/Ok-Perception3503 1d ago

Huh that's weird when I did that I just got a bunch of recipes and pictures of unicorns.-.

10

u/-GracieBee- 13 1d ago

No he typed it wrong. It's tiny brain-Free trial

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8

u/TJThaPseudoDJ 1d ago

I don’t 😔

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2.2k

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Alzheimer

1.7k

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Alzheimer

1.7k

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Alzheimer

1.6k

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Idk I don't remember

295

u/MeekzyRDT1 1d ago

Infinite karma glitch❤️

44

u/ExcellentEssay3282 23h ago

Bro just double his karma.

12

u/Front_Cat9471 15 21h ago

No because upvotes aren’t 1:1 with karma

So while it was definitely a lot of their Karma, it was nowhere near half.

60

u/Darth_Bane_1032 17 1d ago

The meth makes me forgetful

30

u/Natural-Pomelo-4590 1d ago

meth? Outside of my stone tossing sub?

17

u/dont_punch_me_again 1d ago

Stone tossing? On my meth sub?

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8

u/_viHannes_ 14 1d ago

Narrowly avoided rule of 4

9

u/zylver_ 1d ago

God damn this is the best comment thread I’ve ever seen

5

u/Marshleg 13 1d ago

absolute cinema

5

u/ItzBrixHouseYT 1d ago

Comedy gold

3

u/sky_cap5959 1d ago

Bro drank the water.

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16

u/Hot-Mortgage-8231 1d ago

nah that’s wild, kirby with alzheimer’s would forget mid-battle what power he even had. funny but also kinda tragic to picture.

5

u/sonofbaal_tbc 1d ago

no but Alzheimer

4

u/OwnerOfGvaciu 23h ago

Alzheimer

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1.2k

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Alzheimer

439

u/rimjob_steve_ 1d ago

Did you forget?

737

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Forget what?

280

u/Fit-Enthusiasm-2159 1d ago

Absolute legend of a joke, doing this in two comment threads

111

u/rimjob_steve_ 1d ago

Doing what?

18

u/JesionJ 14 19h ago

Idk he forgot

304

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Forget what

92

u/Starswithoutasky 1d ago

Forget what

222

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Who is what?

67

u/Starswithoutasky 1d ago

Yes

59

u/Programmer4427 1d ago

Yes? To what?

26

u/pwsh_wizard 1d ago

What, to yes?

13

u/Birkzzzmarmis 13 1d ago

To, what yes?

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161

u/robmiloda 17 1d ago

Forget what?

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25

u/nightmares_dealer OLD 23h ago

Bro really is out here karma maxxing😭😭

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8

u/Seanrocks30 18 23h ago

God damnit you got me even better the 7th time lmao

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656

u/Minimum_Individual36 18 1d ago

Very bad procrastination

102

u/cjared242 19 1d ago

I have so much stuff to catch up on that I basically need to freeze time atp

15

u/Avvik_ 1d ago

So real

4

u/Orangepotato1313 13 1d ago

same

10

u/cjared242 19 1d ago

Hey you’re 13, that’s about the age that makes or breaks procrastination. Be hard working or else it’ll hurt future you

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19

u/-_nightmarionne_- 1d ago

real gng 🥀

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225

u/Plenty_Animator3365 1d ago

Lactose intolerance

136

u/Plenty_Animator3365 1d ago

And depression

128

u/idiot-nati0n 1d ago

I’d be depressed too if I was lactose intolerant

30

u/0fficialFreyr 13 1d ago

as a person with celiacs disease. id also be depressed if i was lactose intolerant

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7

u/Fluffy-Mix-5195 1d ago

Both result in shit.

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201

u/The_0verTh1nker 16 1d ago

OVERTHINKING

46

u/FrankHightower 1d ago

Why isn't this higher? Are people overthinking their upvote? Or are they just... wait, i'm doing it again!

4

u/Master_End156 1d ago

So real.

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181

u/Superb_Hat_2651 17 1d ago

Burp as much and as loud as I want anytime I want. And handstand pushups.

56

u/Majestic-One7535 1d ago

Can you pleeeeease do a 300 db burp, it will be so cool of you🥺🥺🥺

13

u/HalfLeper 1d ago

Wait—that second one’s crazy impressive, though 😳

3

u/RecipeEmbarrassed900 1d ago

I lowkey want that ability

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170

u/AlastorTheSecond 15 1d ago edited 1d ago

Mental retardation

Parkinsons

Alzheimer's

Pneumonia

Rabies

Stage 6 cancer

Irritable bowel syndrome

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome

Type 1 diabetes

Type 2 diabetes

Alzheimer's

Bubonic plague

Dengue

Jaundice

Tetanus

Ebola

Syphilis

Shingles

And finally, Alzheimer's

HAH, TAKE THAT KIRBY

Edit: thank you for reminding me, I almost forgot Alzheimer's!

74

u/Schmeefyboi 1d ago

I think you forgot alzheimers

32

u/AlastorTheSecond 15 1d ago

Shit mb, I updated it :D

15

u/RotationsKopulator 1d ago

Ok thanks, but what about Alzheimer's?

5

u/nolancheck11 23h ago

Alzheimer’s? I love that restaurant…

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3

u/Dominic35744 1d ago

You forgot alzheimers

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8

u/RandomGuy3510 1d ago

I'm pretty sure you forgot something

4

u/MATYWOSN 1d ago

you forgot alzheimers

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119

u/TheSovjet_Onion 1d ago

erectile dysfunction

29

u/jousty 1d ago

Hard luck

67

u/VictorianWitch69 18 1d ago

Soft, actually.

20

u/RealUltraGogetaBlue 1d ago

Unsolid snake

5

u/ButtcrackMcgee_ 1d ago

NO! That is NOT Solid Snake!

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58

u/resh78255 19 1d ago

abandonment issues

5

u/Any_Piece_3272 1d ago

congrats kirby.

46

u/Charming-Comfort-395 14 1d ago

I poop more 

11

u/BunnyFace0369 1d ago

I only poop about once per week

5

u/AiluroFelinus 3,000,000 Attendee! 1d ago

Me too and I am 5'10" with a metabolism so high that I have to eat a full meal every 4 hours or I literally can't move (during the day)

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167

u/MaxyDoesntPayTaxies 1d ago

Major depressive disorder

18

u/Birkzzzmarmis 13 1d ago

🎉🎉

15

u/Madison_fawn OLD 1d ago

And a sprinkle of chronic and severe anxiety :)

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39

u/Party_Bath_580 17 1d ago

The power of speaking Spanish without anyone understanding you (being Andalusian)

4

u/Key_Clock8669 1d ago

as a non-andalusian and spanish native speaker, i confirm

3

u/Murky_Insurance_4394 19h ago

Being andalusian is basically like being irish and speaking english

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25

u/Pasqu241120 16 1d ago

Lefthand

4

u/MoonBliss99 16 1d ago

both handed here

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23

u/thefishking2785 14 1d ago

Weaponised autism (will randomly stab you)

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56

u/Fearless-Educator573 1d ago

goon rocket

30

u/Reverilia 17 1d ago

Excuse me, WHAT rocket?

21

u/Ancient_Honey1765 1d ago

Hehe penis

7

u/ButtcrackMcgee_ 1d ago

Let's just say..

Hehe...

My paintis.

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5

u/Such-Injury9404 1d ago

I feel like Johnny Test would yell this out with an odd curvy font

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37

u/Blitz7798 15 1d ago

I can play 6 instruments

21

u/random0rdinary 1d ago

Get out of here, you overachiever! /s

7

u/True_Guitar_6941 15 1d ago

dayum! which ones?

15

u/Blitz7798 15 1d ago

flute, piano, trumpet, piccolo, French horn and saxophone

8

u/True_Guitar_6941 15 1d ago

that's impressive! i can only play the piano 🥲

12

u/GraffinTested 1d ago

I'm sure you can play more than 6 pianos. Fuck that guy, you are better than him.

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14

u/luvJuuzou 17 1d ago

Kirby just got depression

17

u/Ok_Impact6721 1d ago

He is lazy as fuck now

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13

u/No-Distribution-2805 1d ago

Being hungry af at 3 am✌️🥀

11

u/AntManMoritzSimmeth 16 1d ago

Fish breeder who the universe absolutely hates

3

u/are_my_next_victim 15 1d ago

Can I buy a fish from you a cute good goldfish I give you money you give me fish an fish for the money? An fish? An gold? For the money?

3

u/Status_Character2875 1d ago

Poor Kirby 😔

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10

u/Not-Not-That-Guy 1d ago

Not pregnant

37

u/CatsaresupercoolHKGD 13 1d ago

The ability to be really really REALLY smart and good at school but also very lazy

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9

u/Underrated_Sadie2 13 1d ago

He can now spin necklaces in figure eights to kill zombies.

31

u/Both_Bed6091 17 1d ago

Rabid racism and self hatred

19

u/TheSovjet_Onion 1d ago

*rabbit racism

14

u/Ancient_Honey1765 1d ago

gasps YOU’RE RACIST?! /j

7

u/W8ds9 1d ago

so what he likes race car’s 😡

6

u/Ancient_Honey1765 1d ago

Horse races are where it’s at

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3

u/Icy_Ninja_9207 23h ago

why do you hate rabbits?

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7

u/Risottoxic 14 1d ago

Depression and high gaming skills

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25

u/Trick-Meeting8634 1d ago

insufferable amount of loneliness

13

u/Certain_Winner6220 1d ago

Gooning, racism and 500mg of caffine

5

u/DarkPortrysavedme 1d ago

Common sense

5

u/MaXx300L 1d ago

Social Anxiety

47

u/JKSekai 1d ago

transgender

20

u/Dependent-Vehicle463 1d ago

Me too he can now become a she and back again if she wants to. Gender switch potion!

7

u/No-Somewhere-1336 1d ago

brosky thats genderfluid

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6

u/No-Somewhere-1336 1d ago

thats more of a curse than an ability

3

u/Fantastic-Coffee2819 22h ago

Nah, the ability includes a dash, a yoyo, a shork, and I'm pretty sure Kirby already got autism from all the other comments

6

u/WaldenEZ 15 1d ago

Same

4

u/ggamer6478 17 1d ago

Alzheimers

3

u/YungSymbiote 13 1d ago

Explosive diarrhea

6

u/MetalheadGamer810 15 1d ago

Hitchhiker's thumb + the ability to touch his upper back by reaching over his shoulder.

6

u/Low_Conclusion_1008 1d ago

Can other people not touch their back like that?

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3

u/Im-Sudo-1080 13 1d ago

Being foggy and tired all the time.

3

u/Azur0007 1d ago

Bro immediately acquired brain damage

3

u/Main_Homework_2948 15 1d ago

severe depression

3

u/autumnnleaaves OLD 6h ago

He didn’t get an ability he got disability lol

4

u/ThePrassistant 16 1d ago

Gay. Echoes

7

u/MayLovesBreloom 1d ago

I can manipulate everyone in my class 😈😈😈

4

u/Milk_bread130 16 1d ago

is that right, Billy Badass?

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2

u/Landanator 18 1d ago

Sorry, I'm one of the ones whose only use is getting spit back out