Season 15. Still 2009. What are we waiting for?
I groaned as the opening shot showed us LA for the fourth time in a row. However, I lit up when they showed that the start of this Amazing Race would be in the iconic concrete culvert of the Los Angeles River. Phil mentioned Grease and Terminator 2, which I suppose have probably the most iconic uses of the river, but I distinctly remember it from Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (a revolutionary independent blaxploitation film) and 24 (with Jack Bauer, duh).
We began with 12 teams, unusually. In order of their introduction, we had:
Brian and Ericka. My wife and I were instantly drawn to this married Nashville couple, who I believe are the first mixed-race team ever on the show. If not, they must be the first mixed-race couple… Why has it taken this long? They seemed like us in a few ways, so we instantly began pretending that we were them and rooted for them.
Lance and Keri… not much to say. They seem sorta intense but also boring.
Maria and Tiffany, poker players. They immediately likened the race to playing a game of poker… I don’t really see how it’s like a game of poker at all. Maybe sometimes you have to keep your cards close to your chest, but mostly it’s about getting from place to place and completing challenges. IDK, they seemed a little clueless.
Zev and Justin. Zev has Asperger’s. When I think of Asperger’s, I think of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which may or may not be a realistic depiction. Perhaps going on a race where lots of things are changed from day to day would be too difficult for Zev to handle, or perhaps it could be the shock to the system he needs to put things in perspective and deal with change better in real life. Time would tell.
Mika and Canaan… more Nashville. Christian virgin. Next.
Flight Time and Big Easy… interesting nicknames. I think I heard Phil at the end of this episode (two legs) call them Nate and Rob. Basketball players, I hope they’re good and entertaining!
Sam and Dan. Gay Missouri brothers. I thought their story about coming out to each other was funny. It must be nice to be able to confide in your sibling and have them reflect the same thing back. I have to say, they wouldn’t show up on your gaydar at all, because they don’t present as flowery or effeminate at all, which is fine. They have a weird strategy about wanting to flirt with the girls to get ahead. This isn’t The Circle, guys.
Matt and Gary, later referred to by Brian as Pinky and the Brain. Love to see a dad and son reuniting.
Eric and Lisa, married yoga teachers. Eric made me cringe when he said, “We’re yoga in the hood.” What does that even mean? Team YITH is how I’ll refer to them from now on.
Garrett and Jessica, coming in with a nonsensical intro. Garrett placed his misunderstandings about his partner Jessica (from a Colombian family, which doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but I think we’re supposed to imagine she was raised around Sofia Vergara-type “strong women” characters) on the fact that he was raised with a brother and “didn’t need to deal with female drama”. Jeez. I can’t stand these ‘dating on and off’ couples.
Marcy and Ron from SF, CA. Love the older couples, and I love that she’s quite fiery and feisty. Maybe she can be the next Gretchen!
Meghan and Cheyne. Young, fit, blond, happy. A boring team that I predict will do well, just like Nick and Starr did.
With that out of the way, Phil gave the teams his usual patter but said there was a big twist that would affect just one team. There was to be a challenge right there and then, which would result in a team being eliminated. At first, my reaction was disappointment, as I hated seeing teams leave early.
However, as the teams were given the clear to start, I realised I much preferred this new, harsher twist to the mid-leg elimination from Season 10 in Beijing. This one added a fierce desperation and confusion to the first task, which was remarkably simple- just find the number plates that had the Japanese region on them, which they were supposed to visit. The Japanese symbols were printed plainly on the clue, but in their desperation not to be eliminated, most teams missed this at first.
This seemed like a filming/editing nightmare as each team’s camera person would be trying to focus on them during the scrum. The poker players were the first to figure it out and snagged a ticket on the first plane to Japan. Marcy and Ron were also savvy, as were boring Meghan and Cheyne. By the time the Globetrotters rolled around, it wasn’t clear if they’d figured out the clue or just got lucky and selected the right license plate by accident. The other teams quickly fell into place behind them, and it was tough to keep up with all the action.
I was just focused on team BAE (Brian and Ericka), who did NOT get it right on their first try and were among the final three teams. Were they really about to get excised from the group at the first hurdle? Fortunately, they were able to leave 10th, leaving just Lance and Keri and Team YITH.
As Lance and Keri found the correct plate, it was Yoga In The Hood that got eliminated, removing the cringe from the show at the first stage. I felt bad for them, but they were among my least favourite of the line-up, so it wasn’t too bad a miss. This was an electrifying first challenge, especially as my favourite team had come so close to being eliminated.
Teams flew to Japan on two different planes and made their way to Tokyo Tower Studios, where a rather different challenge was about to take place. I guess the planes were fairly close time-wise as some of the teams on the second plane arrived before teams on the first plane. Still, the order didn’t matter as the teams were all about to gather around a large green table to play…
SUSHI ROULETTE!!!
Inspired by wacky Japanese game shows, this roadblock pitted the teams against each other with a live studio audience, where they could get ahead with a bit of luck and the intestinal fortitude (to use Phil’s favourite phrase) to stomach a massive ‘wasabi bomb’. I wasn’t so fond of the luck aspect of this roadblock, as some teams (ahem, BAE) were waiting a long time to even start.
Bland Cheyne and fun Ron were up first, and both smashed it. I was surprised that there was no more to this leg of the race as teams were instructed to head to the Konnō Hachimangū Shrine over the Shibuya Scramble of Fast and Furious: Tokyo Drift fame (which we’ve already gone over, if you were paying attention to my S9 recaps). The twist is that they had to guide twenty members of the audience with them; what a fun day it must have been to be an extra watching the teams.
After Justin and Garrett also proved themselves, it was time for the poker players. Maria looked more Asian, so she was selected (I mean, I’m guessing this was their team’s logic, lmao). Technically, alongside Team BAE, they also count as a mixed-race team. However, the wasabi bomb proved to be too much and she was still chewing when the time ran out.
However, she was given another chance to redeem herself immediately as the wasabi landed at her once again. She hadn’t had a moment to cool down from the previous one, but was now forced to gobble even more. This time, however, she improved on her original time, and they left in 5th place.
Then it was time for Brian to have a go, and I looked to the team member I was living vicariously through to knock it out of the park. Surprise, surprise, he fuckin’ sucked, spitting out the giant bite he had originally taken before trying to take it more slowly. Despite Ericka’s desperate encouragement, he failed and had to sit and watch every other team complete the goal before he could try again. This is really the team I chose to back?!
Meghan and Cheyne, first out, were the first to reach the pit stop, winning a trip to Aspen and Vail in Colorado (I don’t reckon we’ve seen Travelocity hand out a vacation to one of the contiguous 48 states before). They were the only team to keep their place surprisingly. Despite leaving 11th, Brian was able to befriend a local who brought their group straight to the Shrine, shooting up 5 places and arriving 6th. I whooped for joy.
Lance and Keri also did well, going from 7th to 3rd, while Garrett and Jessica had navigation issues, dropping from 4th to 8th. On the tail end, Mika and Canaan arrived at the mat 10th but were missing a trailing group member, preventing them from being able to check in. Fortunately, she was just around the corner, and Canaan carried her up the stairs. Marcy showed her energy by encouraging her team frequently with the megaphone.
The Poker players were not as lucky, and, on top of having navigation issues, managed to lose two of their group at the Shibuya scramble, and had made it as far as the pit stop before realising they needed to backtrack. After a bit of backtracking, they realised their group was getting fed up with all the walking, and decided to go check in (did production look after the lost group members, or did they just go home?) With heads hanging, the 200 audience extras formed a crowd to witness Phil addressing them on the mat. When he noted that they had gained two hours for not completing the task with all their extras, I realised this was going to be a non-elimination leg. Last season, I was even saying I wanted to see a non-elimination happen on the first leg, but it doesn’t count when YITH were already eliminated.
For the first time in quite a few seasons, this was a mega episode, with two legs back to back. After a 12-hour rest (not as common anymore), teams ripped open their clues to find they would be heading to Vietnam. The start times revealed that all teams arrived within roughly an hour of each other, but Maria and Tiffany got to have a 14-hour rest instead. Their penalty didn’t affect them at all, as the first plane was at 10:30, and somehow everyone got on.
It wasn’t originally going to be that way, as the plane had run out of economy seating. Brian started begging the desk clerk, “Can we sit in business but pay for economy?” Of course, why did I never think to ask if I could get a business class ticket while paying for economy? Could I buy Buckingham Palace while paying for a cardboard box?
Somehow, the begging worked. I still don’t get it. Naturally, the pokers turned up later, and they were recognised by a poker fan at the terminal… I guess they must be pretty good at what they do. Just as Sam and Dan were trying to hide their homosexuality from the teams, Maria and Tiffany were also trying to hide their profession, and instead pretended they worked for a non-profit organisation. Marcy and Ron had been tricked on the previous leg and had called them wonderful people.
However, Sam and Dan somehow overheard the fan’s comments and realised they had been duping the other teams, and soon everyone knew and had opinions about it. I just found it weird that they would lie about it. It also shows they weren’t particularly good at keeping information close to their chests.
Next, teams had to reach the bus station in Ho Chi Minh City to travel to Cai Be. It wasn’t extremely clear what was going on, but it seemed that Zev and Justin arrived on time for the first one but decided to wait until its actual departure time to get on board, but the bus actually left as soon as it got full, leaving them stranded for the second bus. Realising they’d have to wait over an hour and a half for the next bus, Brian rallied the trailing teams to pool their money to bribe the bus to leave sooner…
It was a fruitless effort, though, as both buses came too late and the dock was closed, equalising everyone yet again. In the morning, everyone set off on sampan boats except for Maria and Tiffany, who had a speed bump to complete. They needed to make a bowl of pho for the dockmaster to his approval. He didn’t seem very fussy, though, as they simply threw the ingredients together and he gave them the clue.
All the other teams were already at the fruit farm mud pits, where a messy challenge involved them getting stuck in the mud and filling a basket to a line. I wondered if this was part of a failed detour, where either the other challenge hadn’t been ready on time or everyone simply chose this task. Meghan and Cheyne, still first, blasted through the task and remained in first. Garrett and Colombian Jessica finished strong in second, and team BAE pulled out of 8th and finished 3rd. Proud of them.
Next, teams went to a local sports ground for an utterly awesome challenge: herding ducks. Each of them had to herd 150 ducks over a narrow bridge and back again. I’m wondering what stopped the ducks from flying off. It was a pretty hilarious sight as some of the contestants got very flummoxed and started screaming at the birds, or using their flagpoles rather violently to scoot them. Matt, Flight Time, and Sam did very well, while Tiffany (who had arrived last) revealed that she’d had ducks earlier in her life… there’s always one contestant who has some coincidental related experience to the task, no matter how random. Pinky and the Brain finished the roadblock second, but would make it to the pit stop on a boat first, where they would receive a kayak each.
Meanwhile, things weren’t going well for Ericka or Jessica, and Garrett was practically flipping his lid, which was pretty ugly to see. Asperger’s Zev managed to pull out the ‘duck whisperer’ technique by showing he could be calm under pressure, and did a pretty much perfect run of the task, keeping the ducks calm as well whilst guiding them where they needed to go. Other teams took his lead afterwards. Marcy also had a whale of a time.
Fortunately, team BAE just clinched the lead over Garrett and Jessica, and a nerve-wracking taxi and footrace revealed that they just kept their lead over the hotheads, leading Garrett to slap the boat in anger when it was revealed they were the last team to arrive. Brian and Ericka might have gotten away with it, but I’m still pretty appalled with their performance so far. Why are they stressing me out so much?!
At Elimination Station, Garrett and Jessica touched down somewhere else in Vietnam… and I was expecting them to run into Eric and Lisa (aka, the YITHs). But they weren’t there. Apparently, getting eliminated right on the starting line is such a disgrace that you don’t even get to go to elimination station. Brutal.
Well, G+J had all the usual feelings about being eliminated first, and wishing they were still racing instead of lounging at a resort (I honestly wouldn’t take it that hard; there are worse things you could be doing instead). They pondered who might leave next whilst playing Scrabble, and one of the words was “VOW”. Foreshadowing.
Next, Garrett did something completely unexpected. Realising his partner was feeling down and frustrated because of her poor performance at the duck roadblock, he decided to propose to her on the beach. Except, he didn’t get on one knee (from what we saw, anyway). So I almost didn’t believe he’d actually done it until I saw the giant rock on her finger. Well done, Garrett! I didn’t know if they were really meant to end up together, but here’s hoping they make each other happy.
All in all, a very fiery, very different start to the season, but one that’s given it a lot of energy and drive to make me watch more. This show is just such a good format that it doesn’t even feel stale after 15 seasons.