Hello everyone! Bit of context here, as I'd like to share my story both to vent and listen to your opinions on the matter.
Around two years ago, I was diagnosed at 23 with PTC. Like many, I was told it was "the cancer you want to have, if you have to get it", and I was told it would be a blip in my existence. Surgery, maybe RAI, then just a pill for the rest of my life.
Suffering from general and health anxiety, I somewhat held onto this notion and held through my fear of hospitals. When pathology came back from the surgery, it stated the following: Follicular variant of PTC tumor <2 cm, 3 lymph nodes pulled and affected. As such, I was told I'd need to get RAI, which I wasn't too happy about but ... well.
Fast forward to this center, I get scheduled for my first dose. As it works here in Italy, you have to stay 5 days in isolation in the hospital. At the end, you get a full body scintigraphy to locate what lights up.
On my first round, only my thyroid bed lit up on scan. However, upon followup some months after, my TG had remained exactly the same before treatment: each time at 6. TSH was suppressed at 0.1 throught my whole history.
My doctors were very concerned and told me I needed to get a second stronger dose this time, and quickly. You can imagine how scared I was being told the first round seemed to have brought no result. Still, I was continuously told I needed to trust them from the people around me, so I underwent a second treatment, obviously stronger this time.
Second time around, it was brutal. We went the Levo suspension route instead of the Thyrogen shots, so I was one month without meds. Last two weeks before treatment and one after, I was forbidden to drive. Without counting the LID diet and all the additional crap that I didn't want to deal with yet another time. I also completely lost my sense of taste for almost two months after, and bid farewell to my parotid glands which got blocked and nuked.
Lo and behold, the scan after my second dose shows that nothing is lighting up. My doctors begrudgingly tell me it was not effective, that I will not have any more RAI as nothing showed on screen, and that we're going down the strict follow-up path. There is a little spot in my neck, next to my carothid, about 6mm big. They want to keep it observed and see how it behaves.
Strangely enough, however, my TG drops all the way down to 0.6. They say it was likely microscopic cells somewhere they cannot see, and they cannot explain the spot in my neck.
However, during the follow-up appointments in the following months, I start losing sense of what the hell is going on. My TG has creeped up from June of last year (the date of my 2nd RAI dose) from 0.6 to 4.6. I had the second PET scan of my life and it shows metabolic activity where the silly spot is, so I'd assume the problem is there. Everything else, nodes in the neck area and most importantly lungs, are clean. CT scan also confirms the same.
Ultrasound continues to show the same 6mm piece of shit, no other lymph node appear ssuspicious. In the past, shortly after my surgery, three weird-looking ones were biopside just for our peace of mind and came back clean, aside from going back to looking normal in the following months.
The original plan, agreed upon after my 2nd RAI dose, was to keep my situation monitored and surgically intervene when the spot reached at least 9mm. In the meantime, ultrasounds, bloodwork, one PET and one CT scan a year to see if anything pops up.
Now, to the present. I get a call the other day from the center. My doctor is not happy, says TG is moving to fast, and drops the news: we want to do a third RAI. Mind you, up to now I had reached 300mci. They said they'd combine it all into one last round of 300mci, reaching the limit of 600mci.
I refuse on the spot. I say I'm not going to accept any more treatment like this before properly discussing together. My case, says the doctor, will be brough to the multidisciplinary tumor board once again and they will call me back to discuss what approach they want to take with me.
In all, absolute honesty, I am completely out of my mind. I am furious, I feel betrayed, and most of all I don't feel confident AT ALL in how my case is being handled.
It seems absurd to me to reach my lifetime limit of "risk-free" radioactive therapy just to reach a TG of zero. What if I need to get surgery for a reoccurence again in the future and I have already played all of my cards for this singular spot/lymph node that's not even growing? They were very dismissive when I asked them this in the past, saying "oh, the risk for Leukemia and other secondary cancers rises after that, but only about 2%!".
I also cannot for the life of me understand why they're changing their version each time I see them. First they tell me they suspect I'm RAI resistant, now they want to repeat this shit again? I know doctors cannot foresee the future, but to me it almost looks like they have no idea what to do and change plans on the spot with no clear intention of why we're doing this.
There are many other details I could add, but it would only make the story longer. What I would like to hear from you is your thoughts on the matter, because I'd honestly like to rip the skin off my bones as of now. My anxiety is through the roof and I am utterfly furious, because I had just decided to go back and start uni after putting it all on pause to get through surgery and treatment. How utterly charming to start and already knowing I'll have to take weeks off because of something that should have ended years ago!
At 25, two years after the diagnosis, I'm still dealing with this crap when my pathology seemed like a walk in the park. I can't understand why people with 100+ lymph nodes get a single dose of RAI and go on to live happily ever after, while I'm still in the trenches with 3 lymph nodes and a relatively small tumor, no strange variants, no aggressive mutations such as BRAF+. Not saying I wish others would struggle to, but I am seriously questioning what the f*ck my doctors are doing.
Thank you in advance for reading all the way down here. Your forum and your stories are keeping me somewhat company as I navigate something that makes no sense to me. And for anyone reading: I am in Italy, so while I now know by heart many reputable centers in the States, it's sadly not possible for me to visit.