I am starting to see more people equate dysphoria with internalized transphobia, and it's getting really frustrating to see.

Internalized transphobia is when you see and experience transphobia in the world, things like "trans people are lesser" , "trans people aren't their gender", "trans people will never find love" etc. and you internalize that. It becomes "I am lesser, I am not (gender), I will never find love. Because I'm trans"
Internalized transphobia is putting subjective opinions of bigoted people into your mind and into your communities, and believing that they are fact.

Dysphoria, on the other hand, is something that nearly every trans person has experienced!
Dysphoria is when a trans person experiences an aspect about themselves that relates to their AGAB, and it makes them uncomfortable, because it is incorrect. When someone gets dysphoric about being clocked or being seen as trans in some way, that is NOT a judgement on anyone else. (Honestly people's dysphoria about anything is not a judgement on anyone else and is HIGHLY PERSONAL)
It is a very normal thing. They don't think that being seen as trans or clocked makes them lesser. They are reminded "Hey, I am born (AGAB). Remember this thing that's causing me a lot of pain? Yeah, you need to remember that. Also other people can see that thing that's causing you pain. They can see your AGAB"
If a trans woman just wants to be seen as a woman, and not as a male woman or an amab woman (which, a trans woman means a woman who was not born female.) or a trans man wants to be seen as a man, and not a female man or an afab man (and trans man means a man not born male)... Neither of those is internalized transphobia. Neither of them is wrong for wanting to be seen as only the most authentic version of themselves.

A trans man being dysphoric about his lack of penis or a trans woman being dysphoric about her lack of vagina is not internalized transphobia. Physical dysphoria is not about society saying "I'll only use she/her if you have a vagina". It's about the brain being like "wait no that's not right. I am uncomfortable!"

This is an INCREDIBLY important conversation that needs to be had, before more damage can be done. Because this kind of talk is hurting people who are ALREADY HURTING. It's making dysphoric people feel vilified and unwelcome for something completely normal. It pushes people away. And unfortunately when people are pushed away and made to feel bad for something they can't even help, sometimes it takes them down a dark path, and then they DO adopt ACTUAL transphobic ideas. Thankfully there are a lot of us who DON'T go down that dark path. But I want to stop people from even having a chance of going down that dark path. Because that just perpetuates a cycle of hurt.

I also think it's incredibly important to mention that a lot of these ideas that normal trans things are "transphobic" come from transphobes infiltrating our communities and spreading hatred to splinter us apart.
I'm not claiming everyone who does think like this is a LARPer, but I will say that whoever convinced you that that is the case may very well could have been a transphobe pretending to be trans or an ally.
Sadly this is a known thing. They will infiltrate our communities, steal our images, take screenshots, spread misinformation, and cause as much mayhem and harm as possible.

Please be aware of what you are saying to or about other trans people, and think twice before you label something as "internalized transphobia" PLEASE!

Credits on vid. Just a little something I couldn't unsee, every time I watched this video. 😅

As much as we can each be our own worst enemy, I truly believe we can also be our strongest ally. You are worthy and deserving of all the kindness you would give to others. Love each other, fam, and love yourself! 🩵

Cannot wait for the chop to happen (my date is 14th Jan 2026)

context:
Public route for hrt in my country General clinic -> referral to psychiatrist -> referral to endo -> blood tests etc -> back to endo until all tests are clear and then start hrt Takes several months.

So I (22, nb) went to the psych and endo to try to get on hrt and there's been a lot of blood tests and hospital appointments that's getting difficult to hide from my family (I live with them and my mom is my transportation to uni so she knows my schedule) and the few amount of lies are kinda getting out of hand.

I figured I gotta come clean because this is spiking my anxiety so I start off with I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for a blood test but then my mom and grandma starts bombarding me with questions like why and when did I go and why didn't I tell them.

I panicked chickened out and said it's because the doctor thinks i have pcos (true, the endo did say that) however they don't know about the other appointments I've been to or that it's for transitioning.

Now my mom is asking to ask the doctor if it's covered by insurance (the pcos stuff) which I don't know but I do know that trans health care isn't covered. She offered to pay too (in that way where it'll be really weird if I insist on paying myself) which is making me more guilty because I'm deceiving her. I sort of avoided the "why didn't you tell us you went to the hospital" questions so it might come up again idk.

I honestly don't know my mom's stance on trans people so this might have been a really rash mistake and I don't know how to move on from here. My current fear is that she'll want to join my for one of my appointments in which it would become very clear that I'm trying to transition.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Title. TW for a slight vent

For a little back story I’m a 17y old guy, I don’t live in America or the UK (don’t want to say exactly where cuz im scared of being doxxed)

I’ve been telling my parents since I was around 4 that I’m not a chick but they refuse to listen and I’m low key getting tired, every second longer I have to wait oestrogen does more permanent damage to my body

I want to start t before all my growth plates fuse so there is still time for my shoulders to get wider, the thought of being stuck looking like this for the rest of my life is so unbearable I dont want to look like a freak I want to look like the man I am

The last time I asked to start transitioning was last year and my dad (my moms out of the picture now) cited the fact our medical aid doesn’t cover any trans related health care and “it requires long term therapy to fix” (such b.s.) as a reason for not allowing me to transition.

We have changed medical aids now and the new one covers trans related healthcare.

My dad is kinda strange because he’s definitely transphobic and has never once tried to accommodate me but I’m not in any immediate danger he’s not gonna kick me out or anything

I just want to have a couple of studies on hand because he’s a pretty logical guy most the time

If I just had proof that conversion therapy doesn’t work and that transitioning is beneficial I’m sure he would come around

I know that these studies exist I just need their names and maybe links to them

Thanks in advance

Edit: Also pls don’t remove this i know my account is pretty new and my karma is low but im not a troll or a transphobe infiltrating the sub I swear

This post is targeting trans masculine people, but the information can be useful for all trans people.

Muscle shirts:

Women’s shirts tend to be tailored to show off curves, cinching in the middle and having tight sleeves. An easy way to convert them to be more masculine is by cutting them into muscle shirts. This may not work for all women’s shirt, and varies on a few factors. Cutting the sleeves off makes the shirt fit looser, and cropping it slightly helps the shirt look boxier. The deeper you cut the sleeves, the more masculine it can look. However, if you wear a binder or trans tape, it can be visible in the muscle shirt. Here is an easy tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-aaMwI7L5M

Upsizing a shirt with side panels:

Some women’s shirts are too small or fitted to be converted into muscle shirts. With these shirts, you’ll want to upsize them with side panels to fit properly. Either color match with a similar fabric to the shirt you want to upsize, or use a contrasting fabric to create a unique shirt. Generally, for a fitted shirt to be more masculine, you’ll need to cut it straight and add a square panel. Here’s a tutorial: https://seamwhisperer.com/side-panels-shirt/ This tutorial keeps the shirt feminine, but is useful for understanding side panels.

Saving a shirt design as a reverse applique:

There are some shirts that you just can’t save, even when you love the design. A way to save it is to turn it into a reverse applique for a different piece of clothing. Here is a tutorial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlcTKvpLmBw

Upsizing jeans with side panels:

Similar to shirts, you can upsize jeans using side panels to give them a better fit. Here’s a tutorial: https://nyhandmadecollective.org/blog/2009/04/how-to-refit-old-jeans-with-side-panels.html

Bonus, here’s video I found detailing how to convert women’s patterns into men’s patterns: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hnjiWBbKKw

Hello! ( I will apologize in advance for my bad English,it is not my native tounge)

I wanted to ask for help about Instagram and I know that it is stupid to post here,but I’am scared to post it on r/instagram because there might be transphobic people and I always get anxiety that someone might insult me on the internet for being trans, I’am so sorry (╥﹏╥)

Okay so, I’am trans(ftm,still in closet,only few people know it) I have an Instagram account with my dead name,and sadly my half-sister is following me there, I know that she has transphobic tendencies and I 100% know she would tell my parents and they made some weird comments regarding trans people recently so I wouldn’t be too comfortable about them finding out since I also still live with them and they can be unpredictable sometimes, basically I was scared to rename the account or delete her from my followers bc this would probably make her suspicious,she is chronically online so I don’t think it would be too far off to say she would notice it(she checks my account daily and always dms me even tho I never respond), bc of that I wanted to make a new account(I also wanted to use it so I can maybe connect with other trans people without anyone from my family to see it). I created the account with some outlook email I quickly made, i can’t do gmail bc I can’t create one without consent of a supervisor and my parents definitely would get suspicious (my dad literally beat me for downloading Twitch on my old phone). So I used the new email, but I was stupid enough to use my real age (I’am a minor) which obviously consulted to my account being private,I didn’t care much since I didn’t plan to post anything anyway. When the acc was created I wanted to follow some influencers that I also followed on YouTube and searched for one youtuber whose content I often watched on YouTube and tried to follow her but only a ‘request sent’ appeared, I found it a little weird considering she is an influencer and her account wasn’t private but she didn’t had that much followers anyway (on YouTube around 10k and on Instagram around 300) so I thought maybe she is only really active on YouTube and just ignored it. So I tried to follow a big account with I think over 30m followers but I still only got the ‘request send’ and then I knew something was wrong. At that time I didn’t know what the reason was( I honestly still don’t know it lmao) and thought that maybe it was because my account was set on private, but I obviously couldn’t change it without having a supervisor and I couldn’t ask my parents because they would see the male version of my deadname and if they had supervision they would still see if I changed my name so that was not an option, so I created another outlook account on my phone and made an account on my iPad( I don’t know if this was the reason since the emails were both made on the same device, I should’ve probably also created the mail on my iPad) and turned the acc public but still only got the ‘request send’ stuff on accounts with million followers, bc of that I started to search around for explanations on reddit(tbh I probably should have done it before) and found out that this stuff can happen if instagram thinks you are a bot and you should just not touch the account so I didn’t touch it for some days. So I just check it randomly and suddenly see ‘we deactivated your account’ and that it violates the community standards on account integrity and I’m just like ‘huh!?’ because i didn’t even know what account integrity was so I check the more about this rule, it says, it’s not allowed to have fake accounts(I don’t even understand what they mean with fake accounts even after googling) The examples they wrote where: Creating an Account to bypass their rules,using bots to create accounts,concealing your identity to deliberately deceive or mislead others. I can understand the first example bc i mean I did made a fake account to bypass the supervision stuff, but I have never once used bots or pretended to be someone else,I didn’t even post or comment anything and I had an anime pfp so there wasn’t some person in it, and I only had a trans flag in my bio,nothing else. But for the new acc I immediately asked a friend of mine to follow me there so instagram knows it’s not a bot,well, my account got immediately tagged as a bot so I tried to wait again for instagram to know I’am real, a few days later I want to check the account and i get the same deactivated message as before,honestly, I think the issue is either that I reused the name or it was because the emails were both from the same device,which is weird since the account with my dead name isn’t deactivated and this email is also from my device,but it may be because both deactivated accs where outlook mails and deadname one was from some some other mail app. I honestly just want to know what the reason is since I wouldn’t be too angry if it was bc of me going around the supervision stuff but I honestly doubt it considering I probably got tagged as bot for both accounts and even on the first one before I even created the fake account to get around the supervision stuff, maybe someone of you got an answer? I’am so so sorry again for posting this on a sub like this,I hope it is okay tho

Testosterone and my body aren’t mixing well. My hips are widening, and my thighs have gotten thicker. There’s visible stretch marks due to the weight gain. My brain is in fight or flight mode due to the way my body looks. I’ve completely dissociated myself from my body. I don’t feel real. This isn’t supposed to happen. I am so frustrated.

Being fluid when it comes to your gender means different things for different people. For me I didn’t think I was, I thought I was a binary tran man. Then I decided to be a feminine trans man, then I started feeling more nonbinary due to me liking both aspects of the gender spectrum before finally realizing I am gender fluid.

It never really hit, having periods where I feel like a man, woman, and something in-between. Like the whole of last year I would feel triggered by being referred to as a woman, acknowledging my female anatomy, or anything remotely related to womanhood. I was even conflicted about being a femme trans man.

But for the past few months: idk. It’s not that I want to detransition, but I am now in my woman phase again. Being misgendered/referred to with feminine terms does nothing to me, but I still acknowledge that I’m trans. This may make no sense to most people (and honestly? Sometimes it makes little sense to me.) But it’s the only thing that makes sense for my situation.

I’ve accepted that I don’t think I’m binary trans anymore. I’m comfortable with switching between gender identities and pronouns. I wonder if anyone else can relate to this or if I’m just weird lol.

I hear they're not cheap though

I want to find a with a bunch of common sentences (like "coffee order for [name]" or "Hey [name], how's it going?") where you can input your name and it'll insert the name in the sentences. I want a few different random AI voices to then read out the sentences. Is there a website like this? Reading the sentences isn't good enough. Sneaking off to then speak the sentences myself also isn't good enough. I need to see what the full (first, middle, and last) name I'm considering sounds like by a bunch of different people.

I've always struggled with looking in the mirror. I get confused. I go "Wait, that's me? There's no way that's me! But the mirror person's hand moves when mine does. It's obviously me. It's me, but it's not me." If asked what I expect to see in the mirror, I would always say that I didn't know.

Once I realized I wasn't cis, I started to realize what specific surgeries I feel like I might need, and what T effects I might want if I if I was to go on it. Top surgery leaving me with no nips and nullification surgery is definitely something I need. I've come to accept that.

When first knowing I wasn't cis, I thought I was agender. Then I realized I am a trans man. Mostly binary, I'd say, but I also like wearing fem outfits sometimes. A GNC binary trans man. I still spent awhile not knowing who I expect to see in the mirror.

I then came to realize that as a kid I knew. I used to do a ton of pretend play, and my main character I'd play as was a man named Rocky. Now I knew that a lot of that fictional character and world will always be fictional, but his physical body is totally realistic. His eye color is different than mine for some reason, but nonetheless, he's still completely human. It's been about 10 years since I stopped doing pretend play. Rocky isn't me. I don't even like that name anymore. Now I'm Nigel.

Recently I've finally started to have a grasp on who I expect to see in the mirror. Who the real me that's hidden in this meat suit is. A man with a big full beard, long hair like a metalhead, no privates, and no breasts or nips. And I can tell this is more of a true long-term thing and not a phase. I get hyperfixated on things. A couple of my special interests are long term. A lot of them are things I'd get hyperfixated on for a couple years before the next phase would take over. Things like music and subcultures. In middle school and early high school was extremely emo, for example. I wanted to dress and physically look like the poster child for emo. While I love metal music and general metalhead styles (I have multiple battle jackets), it's not a current hyperfixation of mine. I can tell it's not something that will just be a phase.

It sucks that long hair gives me immense dysphoria right now. I don't pass at all, so I just get short hair to feel mildly okay in my body.

ive just accepted a job working with young offenders (10-18), which i am very excited about! the only thing im concerned about is the fact that i dont pass 100% yet, but im 1 month on T and it is already hitting me like a truck lol. during the interview some people they/themmed me and some people went for she/her, including the young people who interviewed me at one stage.

i do work in mental health at the moment, my current approach is to not bring it up but be honest when asked about pronouns/gender. im planning on doing a similar approach, keeping it casual and honest, however i am aware that the people i will be supporting will a) probably be much more curious about my personal life (my current PWS seem to think i blink out of existence when i leave shift lol) and b) have a good chance at coming from backgrounds where gender/sexuality are not talked about super positively. add in the fact that i will be noticeably transitioning during my first few months and im…not apprehensive necessarily, but equally want to be prepared for any issues that come up.

im also aware im going to be working with a demographic who are more likely to be exploring their identities, i want to be a positive role model but equally want to maintain my privacy and boundaries. im curious about other people’s experiences working in this sector, or if you have young people in your life (particularly teens), what your experience has been with them.

I am pre-transition in a conservative house so I had to lock myself in the bathroom for it but it felt soo... good. I felt whole.

I hope I can do it again someday. Also, sorry for the shit quality. My phone is bad lol.

I've recently begun to grapple with the idea that I could be more masc-leaning than I previously thought. But I'm also not sure if I'm just making up these feelings.

About a month ago I came out to my parents as nonbinary. I told them my chosen name and my mom has even begun to call me it. However, when she calls me by that name.....I don't really feel anything. I don't feel euphoric, it's just another name.

In addition, I'm closer than I've ever been to starting T. All that I need is for the pharmacy to fill my needles and syringes, and the only thing stopping that is that one of the types of needles is on backorder.

I've had.....fantasies, of being a guy named Drew. (Really basic I know but I'm an artist so it's a pun, also it's a masculinized and shortened version of my birth name that I don't even hate)

Also, I've realized that so many people/characters I get envy from are men. Specifically, men with long and/or shaggy hair, a well-built body type, and a bit of alternative flair. Like picture a GNC 80s guy.

Still, I don't feel confident about it. And I feel stuck. I want to experiment, but now I feel like I've boxed myself in to being a fully nonbinary person who's fine with whatever. What if I'm not fine with whatever?

But what if all these thoughts I'm having about being Drew with a side-shaved wolf cut and a scraggly beard are just temporary? They're pretty new. They haven't always been here.

When I was a young teen, I felt weirdly bitter about trans boys and men on the internet. I was jealous of them, becuase they had their own community where they belonged and they knew who they were.

Now I'm 21, I've been questioning my gender for close to 10 years, and I still don't feel like I have an answer. How do I know if it's not all just my identity dissociation issues rearing their head in an unfamiliar form?

Aughhhhhhhhhhhh.

So as an ADHD-ridden creative goober like me does, I laid down to go to sleep and my brain just HAD to splurge me with 101 different cool ideas that I could be doing. One, though, actually interested me to the point that it's been rent-free in my head over the last few days. That is: making a horror-adjacent transmasc rpg game.

I don't want to go full horror, that feels kinda wrong... but I'm thinking horror in the same way liminal spaces or LSD Dream Simulator can be horror. The fear of the unknown or uncanny. Because that's what the early stages of trans realization felt like to me.

I'm thinking of potentially making some concept sketches of scenes I imagined and other stuff, but I fully realize this is an ADHD "YOU GOTTA YOU GOTTA YOU GOTTA" moment/phase and while I have made a Don't Starve Together character mod before while in one of these benders, a whole game is a LOT. So I want advice/pointers for working with RPG maker n'stuff.

The idea rundown is this: - currently planning on this being a one-man job [me] and no, I'm not asking for any money. This isn't Scientifically Accurate Dragon MMO/silly - mostly a visually told story with some interactions that add more context but aren't 100% necessary. - item collection based progression that takes the player through different worlds/maps [Maybe like Yume Nikki?] - I know RPG maker is top-down... but if there's a similar engine that would allow for simplified first-person POV with 2d flat assets, that's kinda the vibe I'm feeling - a few different 'endings' based on checkpoints that have been met/items gathered - going for something sort-of like how Life of Pi is told [ie: Every element or story beat is a stand-in for either an important transmasc thing or a lived experience of mine] but with interactions/item descriptions being a little more clear in what is being implied.

Please gimme thoughts, feelings, and opinions! Respectfully though bc I'm sensitive 🥺/hj No but really I'm completely aware this is half baked ADHD fueled brain goop so some actual feedback would probably put a scope to it and help me decide if I actually wanna do the thing or not.

NBMoC = nonbinary man of color. before anyone asks.

sorry sorry i know this isn't the best subreddit for this, but my post got removed by the mods of the r\moving subreddit for unknown reason (i suppose transgender safety is too political? which is against the rules). most other subreddits don't allow these types of posts either so.

i live in the US (Mississippi) right now. thought i might move to Canada but i'm not so sure anymore. i mean i know there's pros and cons everywhere, but i do need some major boxes ticked:

• mostly or generally safe(r) for transgender people + safe for me to take testosterone
• i have a good chance of not starving and being homeless as a biologist + affordable college
• friendly, social, talkative people + thriving communities + less individualism + safer for black n brown people + more intellectualism

i could move somewhere else in the US i suppose but i don't feel good about that right now. most of it isn't safe for transgender people or people of color and funds for science are also being slashed i hear. the antiintellectualism here is KILLING ME.

Poland Farright politician falls in love with trans woman and leaves his party for her

short version

We both mutually liked each other. I think I liked him more possibly by a little. I felt like I could be accepted for being trans and my anxiety disorder. My ex was unsure about the relationship due to grief about biological children (I do not want to carry children) and he has a lot of internalized homophobia he still has to work on. We both had different values about abortion which was the nail on the coffin. I just wanted it to work out, not many things are going well for me rn. But we'll hopefully be friends whenever we're ready. I just miss him and I'm not used to missing the people I've dated.

long version

I was dating a cis man for the second time. I felt more secure because he's been with mostly men in his life. Compared to being with someone in highschool who was in the closet about being Bi but always ambiguous when asked if he had a gf saying, "something like that". Which was nice but funny. But I constantly felt insecure about being seen as my gender in that relationship. He gendered me very well tho, same with the recent person I was with for a month.

The issues we had, we have very different experiences. The two main important ones was religion for him and me being trans for myself. Everything else that was different about is was fine and I enjoyed learning about his experiences and cultures and interests.

He's dealt with severe internalized homophobia for a long time until he was an adult. He also has grief about not being able to have biological children and wishing he had parts to do so. Me being trans led to that subconscious strength of grief about biological children coming to his mind. I am female, so it would be possible for us in the future. But do not want to carry children, it is very dangerous, I horrible mental health so it would make it worse, pregnancy is very traumatic for everyone, I would also have a lot of dysphoria personally. He knows that. So I guess me having the parts led to him thinking about that grief a lot. Like finally he's with a man and he could have children of his own possibly but the man doesn't want to have children that way. He places a lot more importance on straight relationships between men and women (I'm not specifically sure why but yeah society does that but also it could be because of religion which is usually not made for queer people being accepted in it). Mind you he rarely has attraction to cis women. So, the possibility of him marrying and making a family he wishes to is very unlikely. I think deep down he wants to be recognized by the church and have his potential family recognized by the church and not just the government.

Anyhow that kinda led to the downfall of our relationship. Our different views on abortion was the nail in the coffin.

I just want to be with someone that's mentally available. Is on the same level of queer journey, and sees me as a man or adjacent (I believe I am man adjacent but I just don't feel very much likely because I am agender but also pre T). I feel like a liar. But that's probably because of how often I get misgendered because I'm not 100 percent out all the time. I do dress very masc and I can pass 70% of the time if I don't talk.

I just also struggle with my attraction to men, it makes me feel like I'm a straight woman but I'm not. But it's the way people look at us in public or the shame I feel and the way people react to me dating men, they see it as feminine. I don't want my relationships to be seen as feminine or gendered at all honestly. I know that I like to let myself be feminine, androgenous, or masculine in my relationships as I please if I feel comfortable with them seeing me as my gender. With cis friends or peers, I feel less than and awkward, out of place, when I try my best to match their energy. I feel like I don't belong around them. There are some cis people I feel like they see me for me no questions asked which is nice and I feel not less than. But maybe that's just how deep down a lot of people aren't fully intact with how they feel about queer people or even trans people specifically. I guess this aspect of being trans always makes me struggle and feel less than and like I'm asking for too much.

I think I would ideally like to date a woman of any sex, next time. But I'm open to whoever is going to accept me as I am. I just feel like this is another layer to relationships I constantly struggle with but most of my friends won't understand and I don't really talk about it to people outside of my romantic relationships. I just feel like being trans is seen as baggage much like my anxiety disorder. Like I should be ashamed and feel like I need to compensate for being trans and my anxiety. It's hard and I feel like this is a niche issue cis people would very unlikely understand firsthand. I have many queer friends but they are mostly cis. I have one trans friend I'm close to which I'm very lucky to have. It just feels lonely being trans everyday honestly. There's a look in people's eyes that I feel like they're not fully understanding and being polite. Which is better than transphobia. I want to be understood and accepted. Which I am accepted by my friends they just don't understand very well. I often feel this less than feeling with cis people whether I'm close to them or not.

I'm open to advice about how to get closer to friends and community

Hey all! I feel like being trans can especially affect relationships and what it’s like to date and be in relationships, so I made a subreddit for trans people to talk about that stuff.

You can see it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderpartners/s/hmQbWnJclZ

Here’s an example of a post, inviting people to share recent relationship experiences: https://www.reddit.com/r/transgenderpartners/s/llXcKfdKwt

Let me know if you have any thoughts or questions!

Had breakfast with my mom and she took me for a bit of shopping after. We found this gem in a small local shop.

Hey everyone!! Just a reminder that moderator applications for the sub are still open! They close tomorrow at 2pm EST, so get those applications in!! We can’t wait to hear from you all, and who knows? You could be the next new addition to an amazing team!