I don't have the energy to fully explain everything again, I'm tired, but I wanted to share the message I just received from the mods on r/trans where I offered to be a moderator to try to help the situation and give trans men more representation in the sub. Here's what they said.

"Your comment on r/ftm 's post 45 minutes ago about this does not give us much confidence in your ability to be a mod on our sub. You said you already unsubbed to trans subs, and you are still looking for another apology from us? You're also looking to be a mod of a sub that actively brigaded us."

httpsq://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/comments/1lye09d/comment/n2tet9q/

Sigh. I talked to these mods about what to do. They asked me for advice about what I think they should say to help fix this. I told them to apologize about everything, probably remove the mod who called me a bitch, and make sure that there is a lot of support for trans men going forward (maybe by reinstating my original post, or allowing for trans mascs to just talk about what they go through) Instead, only the mod who made the bitching comment has apologized (which I appreciated). But apparently Im being "unreasonable" in asking for another apology about calling any discussion about trans men divisive. Apparently they really think that's a fine thing to say. Lmao. And now they're offended I said I'd like to be a mod on this sub.

I tried but at this point I think it's unredeemable. So glad we have this new sub here. Also r/ftm has been very supportive this entire time :3 Love you all and so sorry this has dragged on so long.

I don’t know guys, I don’t wanna be a negative person but this really just makes me feel gross. I get that we don’t like not passing and there’s a lot of pent up dysphoria about not passing but saying that about another trans man feels really gross and I really hate seeing this encouraged in trans spaces. I’m used to seeing it in non trans spaces but not said by other trans people. Breaks my heart

I get that there's the classic jokes of monster and 8in1 shampoos those are fine, I mean constantly claiming new things. Just today I've seen Dr.Pepper, Corsets, Blåhaj, fuzzy socks, multiple kinds of foods, fallout nv, and certain jobs.

Not all were in this sub but most were and this is not the first time I've seen most of these. Holy hell is it dysphoric and exhausting to suddenly just have the feeling of being misgendered by a damned food.

Blåhaj is one that actually pisses me off because, I love ya trans femmes out there but please stop claiming Blåhaj. Blåhaj is for EVERYONE in the trans community.

If y'all want to see how many other trans femmes/trans mascs like the same thing as you, ask! Literally just say something like "any of my fellow trans [specifics] also like [thing]? : D" and it's a great way to get the community without going "[Item for everyone] is for trans [specifics]" and causing dysphoria to those around you

Or at least put a spoiler on it.

Like I said, I don't personally care about the meme ones like thigh high socks or such, we say ace people have garlic bread and those are in the same vibe. The constant new stuff isn't.

Apologies for the middle of the night rant! its just exhausting after a while.

The title is a near direct quote of what someone told me recently regarding a transmasc person they saw on tiktok. Apparently the person on tiktok was saying that since transitioning he feels really separate from queer community and doesn't feel like he's welcomed in a lot of spaces. She said he used the word "transmisandry." I said yeah well, the experience of passing is isolating af (i was passing for some months at a time in my life). and then my friend said "yeah well i mean, they should've known what they were getting into."

i don't think that's true though? You can't make that argument for cis men. I don't think they want this either. But it struck me as so odd that my friend said they basically deserved to be isolated and not feel like they are able to be in queer/trans spaces anymore because they're masc. they said the guy should just "get over it." It rubbed me the wrong way. Now with everything coming out over on the other trans servers I just wanted to bring this up and see if anyone else feel this way or what others opinions are.

I want to get an idea of what people think of therians since opinions on them seem divided among trans people.

I really want to talk about the unique issues and pressures trans men and trans masc people encounter. It's not that trans men face less oppression than trans women; it's that trans men are talked about and cared about so little that many people don't actually know the shit we go through. Please do understand the point of this post isn't to be some oppression olympics thing, it's to bring awareness to a lot of unique issues trans men and trans masc people face that I never see mentioned or discussed!

First let's get into the sexual assault statistics of trans men and trans masc people. I've included a few reputable sources from the past couple years below, and also some quotes if you don't want to sift through the articles. There are many other sources available that say similar things but of course it's impossible to link all of them; I recommend doing your own research.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10110792/

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2820301

https://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/abstract/2022/05001/sexual_assault_and_homelessness_in_the_transgender.306.aspx

"In this survey study of adults in California, results showed that TGD individuals, especially transgender men, are at higher risk of experiencing all forms of violence relative to cisgender women."

"Past-year physical violence was reported by 22 transgender men (43%), 9 transgender women (24%), and 9 nonbinary respondents (14%). Past-year sexual violence was reported by 23 transgender men (42%), 11 transgender women (14%), and 31 nonbinary respondents (56%)"

"Of those that have been assaulted, 362 (46%) were transmasculine and 72 (34%) were transfeminine"

"Of all transgender people, 47% have ever been sexually assaulted: 362 (50%) of transmasculine individuals, and 72 (37%) of transfeminine individuals."

So as we can see, trans masc people very disproportionately face sexual harassment and assault, with most studies saying almost half of trans mascs/men experience sexual assault at some point in their life. I've also seen multiple studies claim that trans men also face the most violence in general out of everyone in the queer community. I am confused as to why this isn't more common knowledge. This should be very frequently discussed. We should all be angry. We should be supporting and uplifting our trans masc and trans male brothers; it's not only the dolls that need protection. It makes me feel so sad and hopeless that this is happening to us and it's just... never discussed. These numbers are fucking terrifyingly high.

Let's also talk about those bathroom bills. I've noticed also within the trans community that all discussion about trans bathroom bills revolved around how trans women are affected. Trans men are affected too yet again we are largely not discussed, and when we try to bring it up we are often dismissed. Here's a couple stories about how trans mascs and trans men have been affected by these bathroom bills

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/05/trans-man-uses-womens-restroom-to-follow-the-law-police-detained-him-for-it-anyway/

https://apnews.com/article/politics-florida-gender-db7c64c110211a867ed4f2d80f702ac5#

I'm sure there are more but unfortunately any discrimination trans men face is largely not reported in the media as the news likes to pretend trans women are the only type of trans people there are. I have personally heard many stories from trans masc friends and folks on social media about how they've been abused and hurt in the men's bathroom. Not including trans men in these conversations is detrimental and leaves us open to more violence.

Another thing that sucks for trans men is that it's so incredibly hard to access testosterone especially if you're trying to DIY. I cannot tell you how many times I have talked about the difficulties in accessing T as a poor person with no healthcare just to get the response "Just DIY it!" Testosterone is a controlled substance, and at least in the USA, it is almost impossible to find, and if you do find it, there's no guarantee it's even safe. That shit sucks and really affects those of us who don't have a lot of money.

There are so many more other things I could discuss but this post is already ridiculously long. The loneliness, the demonization of phalloplasty, the misogyny many of us who aren't passing still face, etc. I'd love to have more conversations about it in the comments and if anyone thinks I've missed something important then please bring it up! It's fucking hard to talk about because it's sad and scary, but these discussions are necessary in spreading awareness and fighting back.

Please do not respond to this post with "Well I think trans men are talked about less because society sees them as confused women" or anything like that. I am not at all talking about how people outside of the queer community view trans men. And quite honestly I'm sick of hearing people try to explain to me why they think trans men are shunned. I promise you that we know the reasons. Continuing to tell us your thoughts on why isn't helping and often just seems patronizing especially when it's the same shit over and over again. The purpose of this post is to raise awareness of the issues trans men face, and point out that the trans community largely completely ignores trans mens struggles, and then says "well trans women have it worse" as a dismissal when issues facing trans men are brought up. Please stop ignoring us. Please educate yourselves on what trans men go through. We absolutely have to talk about all this more and push for change.

And to my trans men and trans masc brothers, I know it fucking sucks and it's hard. Keep pushing and keep fighting, and keep spreading awareness. I know it's hard but we have to fight for ourselves too. Much love to everyone.

Credit to: u/itsurbro7777

Crucify me later.

Misandry is simply defined as the opposite of misogyny. We live in a misogynistic society. Systemic misogyny exists. Systemic misandry does not exist. Cishet men are not affected by misandry. Transgender men, trans masc individuals, and masc/AMAB nonbinary people ARE affected by misandry (NOT SYSTEMIC).

There has been an annoying and disturbing trend in the last decade among young internet leftist queer people who have never spoken to a queer person older than 25 of treating trans men and nonbinary people who look manlike as direct representatives of The Patriarchy™.

Trans men are seen as traitors for choosing the side of the oppressors, any nonbinary person with a dick who isn't basically transfem is treated like a threat or a poser trying to sneak into trans spaces and harm queer women. This isn't a form of misogyny as I've seen a hilarious number of people argue; this is a direct hatred of masculinity, assumed or otherwise. This is acting on the belief that masculinity is inherently violent and dangerous, and that you can't be a safe person unless you reject it. This is literally TERF shit.

This isn't something that comes out of a love and respect for your community, it comes from a need and want to hate the right people. To quote zerowolfe on TokTok in like 2020ish, "if your version of racial activism consists entirely of punching Nazis, you don't actually care about the community, you just want a socially acceptable group of people to punch."

We are all aware the patriarchy exists and is a massive problem. There are many cis men who are dangerous and misogynistic and trying to hurt the trans and broader LGBT community. The trans men and AMAB/masc enbies of the community are. not. them.

Trans men are rejected from the trans community and told to find community with cis men, completely ignoring the fact that trans men face as much if not more threat of sexual violence as trans women, as well as the fact that cis men at large simply don't have healthy communities. AMAB and masc-presenting enbies are told we're not trans enough to be safe around, and treated as threats because we look too much like men to know for sure. This is literally tearing apart the community to suit the generalistic incorrect views of a single group.

I'm speaking from my experience as an AMAB enby. I'm 6'2", 220 lbs, and have uncontrollably facial hair and male-pattern baldness. I am unmistakably classically "male." Many of my friends are trans men who have been treated like shit for being men. If you think this isn't a problem, you haven't been listening. We aren't threats, and our problems and feelings are not lesser simply because we are perceived as men.

Before anyone asks:

I'm using the terms "misandry" in its objective definition as mistreated and hatred based on one's state of perceived existence as a man. I'm using the terms AMAB because this issue applies SPECIFICALLY to AMAB nonbinary people. I'm not separating enbies into "are you a boy enby or a girl enby," I'm using ACTUAL VALID TERMINOLOGY about specific groups that this issue applies directly to. I don't care that there are exceptions to the rule, I'm using the accepted and most widely known terminology. Please don't argue semantics when what I am saying is obvious. Take my words at face value and nothing more.

EDIT: ONE OF YOU ALREADY IGNORED THE LAST PARAGRAPH SO HERE'S WHY NOT ONLY IS YOUR ARGUMENT INVALID,BUT YOU'RE ACTUALLY JUST WRONG. If we're being pedantic about language, my parents are English majors, so I'm more than capable of superior pedantry. Misandry is negative opinions and actions towards someone for being a man. "Transandrophobia" is a bullshit term. "Andro" refers to masculinity, "transandro" refers to trans masculinity, "transandrophobia," linguistically, is the hatred and negativity towards someone for being SPECIFICALLY a trans man, conveniently making it about general transphobia towards trans men for being seen as women, and purposefully turning away from the issues men face for being men in the community. Please just stop trying, I am capable of out-pedantic-ing you indefinitely.

EDIT 2: goddamn it I misspelled the title

I'm posting this because of a post I saw in another trans sub (I won't say which, it's irrelevant). There was an argument about whether depicting men pregnant as a way to insult and humiliate them is transphobic.

It's baffling that we're still arguing about it. How is it not transphobic to view a man going through "women's" problems as degrading and hilarious?

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about male pregnancy irl, or fictional mpreg when it's just a way to give a gay couple a bio child. What I'm focusing on is male pregnancy as a meme implying humiliation and punishment.

And no, I think it doesn't matter if the men that are targeted are cis. Because the butt of the joke is still how humiliating and funny it is for a guy to get pregnant.

The entire problem is that, according to these memes, we're supposed to find the idea of male pregnancy gross. That we're supposed to think a man who's pregnant is a freak or some kind of an unmanly loser.

I also don't care if some of the guys these memes target would find pregnancy humiliating, I don't think using transphobia or misogyny to own a transphobe/misogynist is valid.

I'm sorry that I'm repeating myself, I'm just really upset that some people still defend it.

I'm seeing a lot of recognition of the harm that Radfems cause from this sub, and I want to say, THANK YOU!!!! I've been trying to say this for ages, but every trans space is weirdly protective of them.

Trans women do not have privilege over trans men, trans men do not have privilege over trans women. Do not let this sub become infested with transmisogyny. I’ve been seeing people in this sub talk about how trans women are “male socialized” and have privilege over trans men and we are NOT GOING TO DO THAT. Support each other. We do not need to attack each other to speak about our own unique issues. Do not make trans women feel unsafe because we’re upset at the vitriol we’ve been seeing. Trans women are oppressed and deserve support as much as trans men do. I don’t know why i have to say this. Trans women are not uniquely transandrophobic, trans men are not uniquely transmisogynistic. I should not have to say this. I’ve been seeing way too much infighting on a sub LITERALLY called “trans for everyone“. Knock it off and listen to each other.

edit: I can’t believe i forgot to mention this, im so sorry, but this also goes for nonbinary people. No infighting with nonbinary people either. Nonbinary people are not “making us seem less acceptable” and if you think that you are not seriously engaging with trans rights as a concept. Exorsexism is also a huge problem and still happens in trans spaces. Respect nonbinary people and fight for their rights as well as your own. Intersexism is still far too common in trans spaces as well and I expect you all to do better for marginalized groups that you are not a part of.

Today I spiraled pretty bad because I keep receiving anti-FTM content from prominent transfem creators. Is this how the community is feeling about us right now? Did FTMs do something harmful or is this genuinely dogpiling backlash from the subreddit drama?

I’m worried. IK this doesn’t reflect everyone especially the wonderful people on this subreddit. Is anyone else seeing this or does anyone have thoughts to ground me back into our community?

i’ve noticed online theres an influx of people saying awful things to affirm trans masc/trans men and it actually makes me mad…

“i’d cover my drink around you!” “i’d cross the street at night if i saw you”

or anything along those lines, HOW is that a compliment?!?

I’m just amazed. Someone was straight up trying to push TERF rhetoric in r/transmasc by just… lying about the sports issue.

Taking testosterone at any point in your life does not disqualify you from sports for the rest of your life. Cis women get prescribed testosterone all the time. What matters is your levels.

Trans guys DO get forced to compete in the women’s league. Mack Beggs was forced to compete in the women’s league. He was THE face of the “transgender sports issue” until he graduated. He had to stop taking HRT to compete. People accused him of cheating on the virtue of just being trans. But transphobes need the line that “AFAB” people are genetic inferior to “AMAB” people.

Their evidence that AFAB people are genetically inferior? A singular trans guy boxer who lost ONE fight against a cis dude. Won every other fight against cis male competitors. But he got knocked out ONCE, in BOXING. The ‘Knock people out’ sport.

Pay attention, find the facts. TERFs need you to be ignorant so you’ll believe their eugenicist ideology.

TW:mention of suicide

note: this post is not meant to attack anyone. this is because many people are simply abiding by the rules of the platform that they speak on. I am only making this post to spark a discussion on this issue and change the minds of people who genuinely believe this.

what is DIY HRT? (I will be calling it DIY for short)

DIY is the process of obtaining and administering HRT without a prescription or the help of a licensed professional.

I understand where you are coming from.

being anti-DIY seems reasonable on the surface. after all, It's supposedly dangerous and you can just get HRT when you turn 18 in most places. I don't hate you for these incorrect beliefs, but you should know that you are unintentionally causing harm.

So why is it transphobic?

when you advocate for trans rights, you are are also advocating for trans happiness, but arguing that people should just live through their incorrect puberty (and longer in some cases) instead of getting HRT is inherently against trans happiness.

But isn't it still dangerous?

I will admit, DIY is obviously more risky than regular HRT. you don't have a doctor to help you, and the chemicals you obtain could be sub-par. But when you take into account that there are whole communities of experienced people specifically geared to help those seeking DIY, and that further unhappiness could end up causing someone to kill themselves, The risks seem extremely insignificant or even over-exaggerated.

P.S: I am open to criticism and will do my best to respond to any well-intentioned arguments. it should be noted that I am making this post as someone who plans to start DIY somewhere around the end of 2025/beginning of 2026.

hello! i don’t normally make posts and i have never made one until now, but i just feel like i’m kinda going crazy here. i’ve been seeing a lot of content on my IG where it’ll be an AFAB trans/queer person who labels themselves as trans masc and sometimes they will be feminine presenting, the moment i open up the comments, people are hurling invalidating/transmed/truscum rhetoric left and right. people straight up think that the “masc” in trans masc should be taken LITERALLY and if you stray away from their image of what a “real” trans masc is, then you shouldn’t be using the label. from my understanding, trans masc can be used as a blanket term for any AFAB individual that doesn’t connect to their AGAB. and surprise, clothes aren’t gendered! trans masc also isn’t inherently binary. it’s so incredibly complex. in this case, the individual (i did not show their face for their privacy/safety) is nonbinary and wearing a fem presenting outfit, half of their page is masc outfits and the other half is fem. either way that doesn’t justify this kind of reaction. we also need to take into account that a lot of trans people live in red states/unsafe areas where it is dangerous to socially and/or medically transition. nobody in the comment section even bothered to actually scroll through their page, so they just assumed that they were rage baiting or something. i posted this comment and got into a discussion with a trans sibling about how they firmly believed that “trans masc isn’t an umbrella term” and that “you shouldn’t use the label if you aren’t going to be masc presenting and look like a woman”. gender and expression are two different things, are they not? i’m honestly just so tired of people caring about how others present themselves. it hurts the whole community and feeds into transphobic people’s biases and “transvestigator” ideology. even though i may present differently, that doesn’t mean everyone else should conform to how i see myself. trans siblings should be building each other up, not tearing each other down.

I didn't know this was happening until recently, but this honestly is a reminder of why I love the trans community. Being a trans masc person can be incredibly isolating and lonely, it often feels like our problems are ignored. The original post made me feel seen in a way I feel is often ignored within trans spaces. I have been told to myself that I'm privileged and just want to be a victim, or being dramatic, or told that I don't actually experience the issues I do, and I'm lucky enough to have people to talk to about these issues, but not everyone does, and I think it's very important for other trans mascs to see that our community loves ALL of our siblings regardless of gender.

Was just over on a transfem subreddit and saw this topic brought up. My reply will probably be down voted to oblivion but I wanted to share my take here.

I didn’t start to transition until I was 27, I didn’t feel like I was a girl when I was 5, I was pretty bad at being a boy, but I was seen as soft and weak but never “girly” my only body dysmorphia with what I had was my extreme amounts of body hair after puberty, everything else was what I didn’t have tits, long hair, cute clothes. I was never sexually assaulted, or raped, or corrected because I didn’t know I was trans until I was away from people that had the potential to do that.

People will say a lot about male socialization as what was expected from us. But never do I see it talked about what male socialization allowed us to get away will, what benefits actually gave us. And how I still feel like some trans women haven’t shaken those expectations off.

when I was growing up I was listened to more by the people around me, even when a woman said the same thing i said not 2 minutes prior. People were more concerned about my injuries and the impact they could have on my future more than a girl that was hurt just as bad as I was playing sports. Doctor’s listened to the description of my symptoms when I was sick, people held space to get my opinion even when the woman next to me was far more knowledgeable and experienced, yet she was overlooked.

Often I still feel the same in mixed trans spaces, that each side is somehow regendered to their AGAB. Transmen’s stories, complaints and memes are often suppressed by the mod team, while I expect my voice to be heard, I expect to be the center of attention. I get the freedom to say things like T is poison, can I have your tits, or other such things. Yet when a trans man says they hate their body the “you don’t know what a gift it is to be able to get pregnant something I will never do” comments will inevitably appear, they feel like E is poison, they get jumped on for not being supportive of trans women, for making posts that triggering a trauma for a trans woman or for just being told they are bigoted or misogynist towards for expressing their own experiences as a trans person.

This is how I feel I have been socialized male. Cause I expect people to care about me. Not ignoring me and dismiss my struggles. And I know as shown by recent events, my Trans brothers and Masc siblings don’t have that expectation, they don’t have the benefits of the male socialization I got.

I am a woman, but in some small ways, I still expect to be treated like a man. And that isn’t fair to my brothers.

Thank you.

Please take care of yourself and others and resist those who would encourage you to expose yourself for profit. ✊✊✊

We need you strong to build the future we want. ❤️

When people talk about 'young women being brainwashed into the trans trend and mutilating themselves', a big fear they have is infertility. To them, 'women' (trans men and transmascs) are ruining their reproductive system for this 'trend' when they wouldn't have otherwise.

The thing is that many cis women would willingly become infertile if they could. There are many stories of cis women spending years, sometimes even a decade, looking for someone who will perform a hysterectomy on them. It's not even that radical for anyone natally female to want their reproductive system to be 'ruined', unlike many transphobes will claim.

The only reason it's so terrifying and heartbreaking to some when a 'youth' (a full grown adult) 'mutilates' their womb-having body for 'gender ideology' is because the many 20-something year old cis women who want to cannot because the wishes of their hypothetical future husband are valued over their own.

I genuinely think if hysterectomy was more accessible to cis women who wanted it, about a quarter of transphobic rhetoric against trans men and transmascs would break down.

(I also think there might be some jealousy. Before I knew I was trans I resented trans people who had their chances of pregnancy drastically reduced or got hysterectomies fairly young because 'why should they be able to do it, but not me? Is their choice valued more because of their masculinity?')

Initially I was holding out hope that maybe they would take accountability and fix the issues, but that seems unlikely at this point.

I feel weird saying this, but even though the head mod has made an apology, it doesn’t feel like enough. I don’t feel like it’s a safe space for transmascs and trans men anymore, especially since they STILL have posts locked and have hardly acknowledged their actions beyond the initial post removal.

I don’t feel like anyone is going to take accountability there and it seems like they can’t take criticism without turning it around and victimizing themselves. I understand that they are people too, but SOMEBODY needs to take accountability for the entire situation there and genuinely apologize for everything that happened.

I’m honestly done with being silenced in various online spaces, and to have it happen in a subreddit SUPPOSED to be a safe space for trans people + the mods not take accountability is just unacceptable.

I think it's incredibly important to be able to connect with trans people from your region and to have resources on how things work for trans people where you live. Without the German trans subreddit, my transition would have been much more difficult. I only included ones that seem active. I did not include subreddits that are mostly used for porn or nudes. So please, comment other regional trans subreddits you know of!

The ones I know (not in a specific order) :

Germany (and a bit Austria): r/germantrans

Northern Europe (Nordic and Baltic): r/transnord

Ireland: r/TransIreland

Australia: r/transgenderau

New Zealand: r/TransgenderNZ

UK: r/transgenderUK

UK/London: r/TransInLondon

India: r/IndiaTrans

Italy: r/TransItalia and r/askTransgender_italy

France: r/transgenre

France (memes): r/rans

Mexico: r/TransgenderMX

Canada/Ontario: r/transontario

Canada/Alberta: r/TransAlberta

Canada/Vancouver: r/transvancouver

Brazil: r/transbr

Russia: r/RusTransgender

Scotland: r/transscotland

Portugal (mostly inactive): r/transPT

Netherlands:r/transNL and r/transNederland

Netherlands (transmasc): r/transmascNederland

South Africa (mostly inactive): r/transSouthAfrica

USA: r/TransgenderUSA

The regional US ones I've found:

r/TransUtah

r/transtwincities

r/Michigantrans

r/MI_transgender_friend

r/transcolorado

Please point it out if I made any mistakes!

Edit: I'll edit to add subreddits that were commented. I hope the formatting works, I'm on mobile

Edit: Recommended regional general LGBTQ+ subreddits:

Netherlands:r/LHBTI

USA/Ohio: r/OhioLGBTQ

USA/Arizona: r/LGBTQarizona

Ireland: r/LGBTireland

Edit: Added some subreddits that are mostly inactive

Posts from all sorts of popular trans subreddits have been coming across my page due to the recent events and I've seen a disturbing amount of trans people defending radical feminism and TIRFism. When did the community get like this? I knew that there was a decent percentage of people who got sucked down that pipeline but wow, the transphobic assumptions and ratios you'll get for calling it out is something else. I've been called a misogynist/MRA/transmisogynist for being against radfems and TIRFS in the past so I'll explain why radical feminism isn't a progressive branch of feminism and why we all need to remember intersectionality.

Radical feminism is built around the idea that men and women are two opposing classes, with women being the most oppressed group. The only real difference between TERFs and TIRFs is where they draw the line on who counts as a woman—TERFs exclude trans women as “inherently dangerous and privileged men” because of biology (bio-essentialism), and TIRFs exclude trans men as “inherently dangerous and privileged men” because of gender identity (gender essentialism) but also sometimes biology as well if they target transitioning trans men.

Their definition of womanhood is based on white womanhood and completely ignores gender identity in non white western cultures and how white women systemically harm men: men of color are brutalized specifically because they’re seen as men. White women are well aware of this power imbalance and have historically weaponized it, accusing men of color of sexual violence to have them killed or brutalized for their benefit (something they would not be privileged enough to command others to do if not for the intersection of BOTH their gender and race). The whole ideology falls apart once you stop centering whiteness and start actually looking at how gender and race play out together in real life. It’s not progressive to embrace conservate non intersectional feminism, it’s just another way to police identity and silence people.

Claiming trans men gain access to male privilege is just regurgitating the TERF talking point that trans men transition to escape misogyny, for some reason members of the community are just repurposing that talking point against us and expecting us to just be quiet and agree with them like they've made some liberating analysis. Life actually got a lot harder for me when I started to publicly identify as a man. Society does not see being a trans man as something to put on a pedestal, and we don't all pass like the strawman people have of us in their imagination. Privilege can't be taken away, and we lose it when people know we're trans. So for any situations where someone knows your medical history or needs to do a background check we lose that privilege (aka in all situations with actual structures of power in society). Maybe talking to someone in a one time situation or passing them on the streets they'll treat you like a man but its actually a lot more difficult to pass as a cishet man than others assume. Its not like we know how to make our speech patterns, tone, and mannerisms masculine immediately when we come out. There is a difference between sociopolitical catagorization and personal identity, and I find that a lot of people are mixing the two together in bad faith to make their arguments.

Also can we stop with the "transmisandry/transandrophobia isn't real because men aren't systemically oppressed", those terms are describing how misogyny and transphobia come together in ways that specifically harm trans men, that's why it's transandro* phobia stop splitting it like trans* androphobia in bad faith when you know exactly what we mean talking about the term.

So I came here after finding out what happened this past week with reddit and a tiktoker who got the same bullshit and this has led to a discussion. What word to use to describe trans mascs trans men's experiences and the word misandry has come up alot

There’s some discourse that I’ve been seeing around lately that’s been bothering me. Normally I ignore these things, but I absolutely hate when people talk over us or pretend as if they know what we live through.

I also love when non-trans men act like all of us perfectly pass as men. A lot of us still have our afab traits (short height, body shape, voice, etc) that makes people treat us like women-lite. Some of us STILL face misogyny and aren’t taken seriously.

Not to mention with the heated political climate and how our reproductive rights are being taken away (yes some of us are still fertile even with hrt. Some also do not have access to proper medical care). We are still treated like our purpose is to give birth and like we’re just confused women for now. As if it’s a phase or mental illness.

Even if some trans men manage to pass as cis, that still doesn’t give them the exact same privileges as cis men. A lot of us still face issues based on us being afab (and) new-found issues with being men. Like how we can’t talk about things without being invalidated or having to control our emotions and putting up a brave front. Suffering in silence. I think this has made me understand cis men more, but I cannot ignore there is still a difference between us.

This is a far more complicated topic than people make it out to be. Now, if another trans man was ignorant and said the above, I would be more open-minded with this. But it’s mostly from those who aren’t that make my blood boil.

Please do NOT speak over us and our issues.

edit: again people are trying to speak over me and making themselves the main character in trans men’s issues. Bad faith arguments will not get the reaction you think it will.

It is not, in any way, a privilege to be raised as the wrong gender.

I have seen some individuals clumsily use the term ‘socialization’ to describe these experiences. However, socialization is inaccurate to these experiences, and is used by transphobic people to claim trans people are their assigned gender at birth. We know this to be false. I have also seen people use it to claim a group of trans people is more “privileged” than another, which is equally false.

I propose the term ‘Gendered Social Trauma’ to use to describe the experiences of being raised the wrong gender, and the trauma of that experience. It centers the conversation on the trauma of being forced to preform in a certain gendered way, and the way violence is used when one fails to socially perform their AGAB.

It also does not pretend that gender roles are universal, and are dependent on an individual’s culture. This also allows for greater discussion of the intersection of religious trauma and gendered social trauma.

Edit: In discussion of this thread, here are some other terms.

Assigned gender expectations: The social expectations of AGAB, as dictated by society and culture.

Internalized/internal gender expectations: The social expectations of our actual genders, internalized from society and culture.