That’s all folks, trans rights 🏳️‍⚧️

I don’t really have regrets about transitioning, but if I did, it would be the fact that I’m still trying to get back some semblance of a singing voice. Like, I don’t remember making a deal with Ursula the sea witch for my testosterone, but some days it sure feels like it. Haha

Title isn't fully accurate, but I'm highly emotional rn and thinking of a better word is impossible.

I'm transmasc. I still don't present any way but as a woman. I've also got pretty short hair. Issue at hand: I'm visibly queer. People see me and immediately clock me as lesbian. No matter what I do, I keep getting fired from jobs within a few weeks of working there. I do my absolute best with every job, yet I get random false reports constantly, no matter where I go. Reports ranging from: I was yelling and screaming at people and throwing stuff at them for no reason to I was flirting with and harassing young girls to I was sneaking customers food when no one was looking. As soon as I get a report against me, whoever my employer is immediately fires me because I'm always the newest employee with little time to have proven myself. None of them ever look for evidence, just immediately tell me to go home. This last time I even had witnesses/alibis/whatever they're called that said the report was fake. But nope, I was still fired because they "can't tell a customer they're a liar". How hard is it just to ignore the report?

Anyways. I'm likely gonna have to grow my hair out and try to pass as "normal", for lack of a better term. I hate that I have to do this. I hate that I'm lied about. I hate that I have no chance to even try to prove myself. I hate that I'm barred from living because my existence makes people uncomfortable.

Edit: yall, I cannot express how thankful I am for you. I know it may look like I'm shooting every suggestion down, that's far from my intention. There's no real solutions. Life just sucks and I just have to deal with it. But the fact that so many of you have taken the time to attempt to help means so so so much to me. Thank you all.

This is a celebration post about how happy i am my facial hair finally is noticeable on/in a camera!!! (Im not native so not sure how to say this but you guys got it lol) Anyway im sooo happy its awesome! Im one month and a week or so on T-Gel (Also sorry for the « HDR » in the top left, this picture is a screenshot I initially took from a video and for whatever reason my phone decided to put that in it :,)

I love being a guy, I love being called he, it makes me giddy when I end up seeing accidentally my friends referring to me as he when I’m not there. I love being seen as a guy who collects records, I love feeling masculine, I love being male, I love that when I can start T my voice can deepen. Hell I love dumb things too, I love having body hair and being seen as nerdy as a man, and being called things like sir and dude and I just love being a man. I love how flat chested I get binding, BEING TRANS IS AWESOME. BEING A MAN IS AWESOME. I love being allowed to be myself. I spent so long hating and fighting it, but I’m a man, I’m love being a autistic gay man, I fucking love being my gender.

(Other than GC2B and Spencer's.) i don't really know any reputable places to get one and I've been needing to get a new one for ages. Any tips?

(I say other than gc2b because my older binder was from there and it was meh and I've also heard their quality has gone way down over the last few years)

Edit: ended up going with underworks!

As a punk singer I had a hard time finding resources on what my voice might sound like on T. So I recorded a lot of my vocal progression! I have more videos on my band Trouble Girl's instagram and tiktok @troublgirlct. We have one song out that is my voice pre T and an EP on the way recorded ~8 months on T with lots of intentional voice cracking :)

(They/them)

I'm so excited!! I wasn't expecting this to happen so fast!! My appointment with Planned Parenthood was at 2PM and they didn't have to draw significant blood, only a small finger prick to test red blood cell levels. Then they sent my prescription to the pharmacy. At 6PM, the pharmacy called to say it was ready for pickup! I was not expecting it to go that fast! I have enough doses for the next 24 weeks, which I also didn't expect. That's a long time!

When I came home from the pharmacy and explained, my dad said he was happy to see me so excited and enthusiastic. My heart is filled wtih so much joy! I'm incredibly lucky to both have accepting parents and to live in a place where getting informed consent HRT like this is even possible. I'm so grateful and I love everyone so much. Yes, you reading this, YOU ARE LOVED because I LOVE TRANS PEOPLE AND HUMANITY AND LIFE AAAAAAGHHHH 🖤🤎🩵🩷🤍❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

So i haven't really come out to her but she knows i have gender dysphoria and kinda knows I wanna go by Samuel... so she knows ima transition but dont know im trans somehow

So we were talking about my gender dysphoria and how I grieve the fact I'm not her brother and that she didn't grow up knowing I was her brother and she was like "bro... I constantly accidentally called you my brother to other people and in my head i like auto assume you're my brother." And other stuff like that.

AHHHH THATS AWESOME!!!! mabey she'll actually see me as a guy!!!! Im so happy! She said some other things that weren't so great but this was a bug win. And she said that my siblings probably think the same. Im so happy

Wanted to share this poem (not mine) that I found a couple years ago. I think it's striking and tbh made me emotional.

on the occasion of my death

don't let them bury me in a dress

don't let them speak a stranger's name

or repeat stories I told to make myself palatable

on the occasion of my death

lay me down in a suit

and all the comforts I knew amongst friends

and all the secrets we shared in hushed whispers

in loud nights

in love and in fear

make them mourn all of me

every part they love and hate

don't let them bury me a stranger.

The full version with illustration can be found on https://m.tapas.io/episode/2187981. Added the pictures in the comments as well. Written and illustrated by Dyllpickle.

I hear they're not cheap though

I knew about the whole buddy/boss thing in theory because everyone talks about it on Reddit, but I'd never experienced it. Anyway I started passing and people started calling me buddy, and I was like, oh lol, I know about this! Sick, I'm getting buddy zoned. I don't mind that at all tbh, but the other day this absolute vertical giant of a man called me boss when I gave him his coffee and I was stunned.

I find it a little difficult not to laugh when people call me either because for me it's like this strictly online phenomena that's coming to life in front of my eyes that I wasn't expecting.

That is all I have to share lol. Have a sick day everyone.

Hi guys!! I’m 18ftm and 1.5 months on Testosterone! Here are some things I’ve noticed this far! Note: I was on .25mg up until two weeks ago, where my dose was upped to .37.5mg once a week subcutaneously.

1: I am insanely hungry, I literally feel like Spider-Man after getting bit by the spider 2: Bottom Growth; I was scared about this at first but now I’m completely fine with it! 3: Hair! Noticeable leg, arm, and stomach hair! 4: my voice is starting to crack !!!! 5: I have better control over my emotions 6: I sweat a lot more 7: overall peace of mind!

So far I am beyond ecstatic with the changes that are happening, and cannot wait for what has yet to come! Feel free to ask any questions!

I've had issues with professors at my school being transphobic, refusing to use my name and pronouns, just generally treating me differently because I'm visibly queer. I was expecting some old bald boring white guy to show up on my screen when I had my initial thesis advising meeting, and was genuinely so excited when someone who is like me popped up.

I'm not exactly sure what I want to do my thesis on yet, I wanted to do something about the lgbt community or even trans men's experiences specifically, but was nervous my potential advisor wouldn't be able to help me. But he told me specifically he's worked in queer studies and would be more than happy to explore potential topics relating to the lgbtq, and possibly specifically the trans community.

Maybe it sounds weird but there honestly aren't very many trans guys where I go to college (or at least I don't know them and they don't go to the queer clubs). I really missed the community I had with trans masc friends in high school and I'm just so beyond excited to be able to work with someone who understands me a little more than other professors might, and who is genuinely excited to assist me in working on a project to potentially help the queer and trans community. I was assuming I would have to tiptoe around queer topics like I did before but he made it clear I can work on whatever I want and I'll have his full support. I'm actually so looking forward to working on my thesis now.

I've always struggled with looking in the mirror. I get confused. I go "Wait, that's me? There's no way that's me! But the mirror person's hand moves when mine does. It's obviously me. It's me, but it's not me." If asked what I expect to see in the mirror, I would always say that I didn't know.

Once I realized I wasn't cis, I started to realize what specific surgeries I feel like I might need, and what T effects I might want if I if I was to go on it. Top surgery leaving me with no nips and nullification surgery is definitely something I need. I've come to accept that.

When first knowing I wasn't cis, I thought I was agender. Then I realized I am a trans man. Mostly binary, I'd say, but I also like wearing fem outfits sometimes. A GNC binary trans man. I still spent awhile not knowing who I expect to see in the mirror.

I then came to realize that as a kid I knew. I used to do a ton of pretend play, and my main character I'd play as was a man named Rocky. Now I knew that a lot of that fictional character and world will always be fictional, but his physical body is totally realistic. His eye color is different than mine for some reason, but nonetheless, he's still completely human. It's been about 10 years since I stopped doing pretend play. Rocky isn't me. I don't even like that name anymore. Now I'm Nigel.

Recently I've finally started to have a grasp on who I expect to see in the mirror. Who the real me that's hidden in this meat suit is. A man with a big full beard, long hair like a metalhead, no privates, and no breasts or nips. And I can tell this is more of a true long-term thing and not a phase. I get hyperfixated on things. A couple of my special interests are long term. A lot of them are things I'd get hyperfixated on for a couple years before the next phase would take over. Things like music and subcultures. In middle school and early high school was extremely emo, for example. I wanted to dress and physically look like the poster child for emo. While I love metal music and general metalhead styles (I have multiple battle jackets), it's not a current hyperfixation of mine. I can tell it's not something that will just be a phase.

It sucks that long hair gives me immense dysphoria right now. I don't pass at all, so I just get short hair to feel mildly okay in my body.

(original post on my profile)

i'm back with great news! 🥹 i came out to my boyfriend on the 24th of july and he took it very well from the start it felt surreal (i was kinda anxious about telling him). we're the happiest mlm couple now istg, he's so supportive it hurts lmao

he isn't sure about his sexuality because he never felt attracted to anyone before dating me so we're exploring that, and we joke a lot about being both very gay lol

my next big step is to find the courage to try and get the consent of my parents, after like 2 years of pretending to be okay, to actually start transitioning

I made the appointment today!!

They sent me an email to confirm I want to go from waiting list to setting up an appointment! I sent back a voicemail today! So excited

When did sadness become scary? When my manhood became something that could be taken away. I never really understood the way cis men talked about being ostracized for showing emotions, not because I didn't believe them, but because it is generally hard for me to conceptualize other people's experiences. I get it now, I do. I can't afford to be sad. Not when any vulnerability can be interpreted as femininity, not when any sadness can be interpreted as transition regret. It's not even as if I've traded the feminine duty of gentleness and contentment for another, I still need to appear as small as possible, this time to not scare the women who used to encourage me to take space. I still needed to spend weeks telling the same story over and over again, every time with the same expression of gleeful rebirth in my eyes, starting from the minute I woke from that surgery. Truthfully, I'm still scared I'll wake up tomorrow, and it'll all have been a dream. I'm still scared someone - God maybe, or some politician - will look at me from above and decide I don't deserve happiness. I've always struggled to believe anything good could happen to me. Not sure why. I've grown bitter, jealous even, of the good and the bad, of people's ability to have an occasional bad day without the fear of being turned into a political scandal. I know it's irrational. I'm tired of being told it is, frankly. Sometimes I feel like I'm treated more like a woman than I was back then. More like a man too, depending on what's useful. I'm a man when there's work to do, when there's someone to protect - regardless of the fact I'm statistically more at risk of violence than most people who've expected protection from me. Most of all, I'm a man when there's someone that needs blaming. But still, when I cry, it's women's tears that stream out my eyes, and when I bleed, it's women's blood that stains me. In the news, I'm a man when I'm a joke, and a woman, when tragedy strikes. I can tell you, man, woman or other, it doesn't matter, I'm mostly tired, these days. Tired of pretending belittling me is gender-affirming. Tired of people telling me what my oppression looks like, if they acknowledge there's oppression at all. I wish I was a cis man so self-proclaimed allies wouldn't feel so bold punching me thinking they're fixing the world by doing so.

Fluxion binders seem to be the most similar to fytist imo.

They use the same seamless technique for the fabric to avoid sensory irritation. The front is a soft material, and the back is very stretchy (very breathable material to my knowledge). Their sizing goes up to 8xl

No zippers or clasps, it's just a pull-over binder. The price is about $48 usd. they have a tank and traditional cut binder options. I think they also have worldwide shipping, but I can't confirm that. If anyone has one, pls lmk if it's good quality!

I'll get one and update, but I haven't bought a new binder in 3 years because fytist was the only accessible brand for me. Just wanted to share in case anyone else was looking for a binder like fytist!