My stepfather abused me when I was a little girl. I remembered just that, my mind hid all the sensations and details. During lockdown, I bought an old MacBook with a disc drive. I went down to the basement to look for movies and family memories to watch. And that's where I found many DVDs of my stepfather abusing me. It was totally shocking. Those sensations and feelings that my mind had suppressed, when I watched the DVD, came back so vividly that they overwhelmed me. I remembered every detail, every sensation. I felt shame and guilt for the feelings I had felt as a child.

He passed away last year, so there's no one to blame. My mother didn't know. She was working as a babysitter outside the home while this was happening. I don't have money for therapy yet, so I hope someone can talk to me and understand me.

I'm Spanish and I'm helping myself with Google Translate. If something is misspelled, that's why.

roughly an hour and a half ago my elderly neighbour came banging on our door seeking help from my parents because she found her husband unconscious covered in vomit. i ran after them and without thinking immediately performed CPR for roughly 6 minutes. i’m only 20 years old and i just renewed my First Aid cert a month ago. they tell you that you’ll likely never have to use it in your life. i am so shaken up and have no idea what to do with myself. as i was doing it the adrenaline slowly wore off and by the time the paramedics arrived i was sobbing uncontrollably, nearly peeing myself and on the verge of throwing up/passing out. i heard multiple of his ribs break and he was covered in vomit. we now know he had a bad stroke and will likely pass in a few hours. i know i did everything i could so i’m not worried about feeling guilty. i just have no idea what to do with myself. will i be traumatized from this? do i even go into work tomorrow? how do i process this??? i live with an anxiety disorder and PTSD so i already have some tools and i’m already scheduled to speak to my therapist on Wednesday. i appreciate any advice or kind words

i’ve put the trigger warning flair but multiple of the flairs fit really. Needing Advice/Seeking Support/Venting/Comfort Tools

Wondering if anyone here has experience with different somatic therapy modalities and what your experience has been like. I've tried to incorporate my own practices - breathing exercises, meditation, physical soothing - but I do best with more structure or accountability.

About a year and a half ago I was struck and dragged under a dump truck while riding my bike, sustaining some severe injuries. During the first year I mostly vacillated between severe depression and anxiety - what my therapist considered a "normal" trauma response. Since the anniversary, though, my panic attacks have increased and I'm having somewhat dissociative episodes. I end up pushing people away because it's easier to not have to explain what's going on. Sometimes I'll send a text or email to someone in a state of dissociation and later realize I've just completely shut them out.

My therapist and I agree that, intellectually, I understand what is happening to me. I understand the underlying causes of the anxiety-dissociation spiral and have some CBT/DBT style tools to cope with them, but it just hasn't been that effective.

Thanks for any thoughts :)

Tw: suicide?

I'm not sure what to think of this or if this even belongs here, but thanks for listening anyway.

When I was a child, I had what I thought of as “voices,” but they weren’t just voices — they felt more like presences. They came with intrusive thoughts, and I could actually have conversations with them. They practically raised me, and I trusted them completely.

As I got older, things became too overwhelming. I felt so guilty that I couldn’t live up to their expectations, and eventually I got too exhausted to keep up with them. We still talked sometimes, but less often.

Then one day, they started talking about how maybe this world just wasn’t for me, how it might be better to leave and go somewhere I could belong. I trusted them, and I went along with it. I even wrote a suicide note to my parents, explaining the situation. I don’t fully remember if it was them telling me it would look like a suicide to the outside, or if it was me realizing that.

But when I finished writing, it hit me that if I went through with it, I would never come back. I would never see my family or my friends again. And that felt too selfish — I couldn’t do that to them, even if that’s what the voices wanted. After that, the voices went quiet.

It took me years to really realize how dangerous that moment had been.

Has anyone else had experiences like this? Where the voices or presences felt like trusted companions, even family, but eventually pushed you toward something harmful? How did you make sense of it afterwards?

Hi,

I am 35 years old, and I never thought I had any kind of mental health issues until I started therapy because I was spending too much time online and wanted to get to the bottom of it. At that time, I also had some issues with my mom that I wanted to discuss with my therapist.

Long story short, I began talking about three of my traumas (my father beating my mom, sexual abuse, and my father being mostly absent from when I was 8 years old, and so many others I started to think about). My therapist told me I most likely had generalized anxiety, and after taking a test with a psychotherapist, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, depression, and panic disorder.

I started taking medication, and over time I became less anxious and felt better. However, now—after two and a half months—I’m no longer worried about small things like what others think of me or material concerns (car, house, or other less important things). Instead, my traumas are resurfacing more and more, and I find myself thinking about them constantly. Almost everything I see, hear, or search seems connected to trauma: if I read a book, it’s about trauma; if I listen to a podcast, something about trauma comes up; even documentaries I watch revolve around it.

I’m not sure what to do. It feels like my weekly therapy session isn’t relieving me as much as it used to, even though my therapist is great. I’ve thought about trying group therapy, but I haven’t been able to find any PTSD support groups anywhere.

I guess I need a group therapy, but not sure how to find one.

i used to think burnout was just being tired from working too much. turns out it can actually fuck up your brain in ways that stick around long after you leave. spent 3 years at a company that was basically psychological warfare disguised as a job. constant micromanaging, zero trust, coworkers throwing each other under buses for sport, management that seemed to get off on making people feel small. i thought i was handling it okay because i kept showing up, kept performing, kept telling myself this is just how corporate works. my body had other plans. started having panic attacks before logging into my computer. couldnt sleep because id lay awake replaying every interaction from the day. got physically sick so often i burned through all my sick days. still convinced myself it was fine because everyone deals with work stress.

i finally left that hellhole 8 months ago but the damage is still there. i flinch when i get email notifications. i have anxiety attacks when my new boss (who is actually nice) asks to talk. my nervous system apparently didnt get the memo that im safe now. people keep saying just move on or dont let them live in your head but its not that fucking simple when trauma literally changes your brain chemistry. for anyone whos been through workplace trauma, how did you actually heal from it? how do you stop your old toxic job from haunting your new life?? therapy helps but i still feel like im carrying invisible scars everywhere i go.

I feel like I'm very aware of how my trauma has affected me and how I get triggered a lot and its no one else's fault how I feel and that's okay. And that it's my job to manage my emotions. But I've noticed how much I really do second guess myself because I know I have a disregulated nervous system I don't actually know if I can trust myself or anyone around me. I really wanted to learn to trust people again after my trauma but I understand now that isn't feasible in this world we live in, everyone else has thier own goals motivations, training, belief that don't necessarily align with whats best for me... I need to learn to trust myself. But how do I trust myself if my nervous system is messed up? The obvious answer would be to fix the nervous system and that is something im working on. So in the process I would love some tips or insite or personal experiences.

Several years ago, I left an abusive relationship that completely wrecked me. I had abandoned my life at 22 just to get away from him, and when it all finally ended, I expected freedom to feel like relief. Instead, I felt empty, full of shame, and like I had no idea who I was anymore.

For a while, I thought healing meant pretending it didn’t happen and just “moving on.” But the trauma followed me into everything—relationships, work, even my faith. It’s taken a lot of untangling to realize the abuse wasn’t my fault, and that I don’t have to carry the guilt and self-blame he left me with.

These days, I’ve been writing about my journey—how God met me in the middle of my pain, how I’m still learning to trust again, and even how little things (like baking, community, or just sitting with my cat) have been part of rebuilding. Putting words to my story has been both scary and freeing, but it helps me not feel so alone.

I know many of you have maybe walked through similar things, and I’d love to hear: what’s been the hardest part of your recovery? And what’s brought you the most peace in the process?

Does anyone else have lots of great things going on in their lives, and at the same time dealing with compounding grief and healing trauma alone? Like everything outside of my work life feels like so much work. I just keep replaying the fact that I cannot trust anyone, and that all the people that truly loved me unconditionally are no longer here. It truly solidifies that having money doesn't make you happier. It helps a lot lol but I can't go for a walk or drive and hear a song and not cry about some moment of trauma or sadness in my life. I don't want to unalive myself currently, but it's always in the back of my mind. I just want to not feel so much

EMDR didn't really seem to help me, I think perhaps because the causes of my issues are quite big picture, long term, overlapping, and some times the lack of something rather than the presence of something or one specific event. I had several years of quite wishy washy therapy which was overall good for me but perhaps didn't have as big an impact on me as I need. I'm trying ketamin therapy at the moment which hasn't had massive results so far apart from one 10 day period near the beginning. I relate to the idea of it being in my body. I'm a very "rational" person and in the top layer of my mind I'm always telling myself it makes no sense to be so stressed out by certain things and that I'm just associating them with things from my past, but it doesn't help that much. It's like there's just a big FEAR SWITCH in my body that's easily turned on by anything that could be seen as potentially Conflict in the Workplace/Problems in the Workplace, no matter how unlikely the scenario is or how small the potential conflict/pushback might be. God it's so infuriating. I didn't used to be like this. My life is objectively ok or even good and yet I can't enjoy it because there's this thread of fear, like a sour poison, woven through most of my experiences.

What do you guys think about the way you were raised, and how it affects/affected your adulthood life?

My relationship with my mom has always been good; she’s like a friend to me. But not long ago, I noticed that she started making comments about my appearance when I didn’t ask for her opinion. I don’t know if this is normal, so here are a couple of examples that stand out the most:

A few months ago, I was doing my makeup and accidentally overlined my upper lip without noticing. My mom saw it and said, “Your lips look like a clown’s lips,” laughing so hard that she could barely stop.

Not long after, I tried a new hairstyle for the first time, and it turned out a bit messy. My mom pointed at my hair and said, “It’s ugly.”

It’s a long story, so I’m summarizing. For more than a year, I started doing more elaborate makeup—false lashes, graphic eyebrows, blush, etc. Before that, I had always kept my makeup natural (just mascara, light eyebrows, and foundation). A few months ago, she began commenting on my makeup more often. She told me my makeup looked professional and well-done, but that it might push people away. She also said I looked “too good,” which could make other girls jealous or uncomfortable. She suggested I go back to my old, more natural look to make it easier to connect with people. She even shared examples from her life, saying that when she “looked too good,” her female colleagues were mean to her.

I feel like if someone doesn’t like me because of my makeup, that’s on them, not me. So when my mom said all this, I honestly felt it was a bit ridiculous. I really loved my more elaborate makeup, but since that comment, I’ve started hating it and feel uncomfortable wearing it. I no longer feel beautiful, and I’ve returned to my old natural look, which I also don’t feel comfortable in.

Maybe there’s nothing harmful in her comments, but they always stick with me for a long time. Mind you, I’ve never asked for her opinion. I also have a sister, but I don’t really remember if my mom acted the same way toward her. I’ve heard stories of mothers being jealous of their daughters and making hurtful comments, but it’s hard for me to believe my mom is jealous of me.

What do you think? Do you have any advice for me?

I built this to help me through an 8-month spiral of depression and social anxiety. It turned into something that I think could help others too, so I wanted to share it here for free.

It’s called Winny and it’s a 24/7 mental health support chat trained in four recognised therapy styles. The idea is simple: whenever you’re struggling, you can get personalised, professional-grade support instantly, day or night.

It’s not just ChatGPT in a wrapper. It’s been designed specifically for mental health, so the conversations are grounded in therapeutic models rather than generic advice (and it won’t just tell you what you wan’t to hear!)

If you’d like to try it, sign up and you’ll get 7 days free unlimited access. If you get a lot of value out of it, but can’t afford the monthly cost, send me a message and I’ll upgrade your account to premium access at no cost. I just want to make this available to anyone who could benefit.

> winny.support/main 

I do not have a clue anymore what to do. At the age of 3 I had an NDE incident where I both saw the light as it approached me and swallowed by the dark as I fell into my body and woke up in shock. Then during the next year parents had a messy fight during a divorce multiple times where I was often involved. Later on everything felt ruptured to me were it in kindergarden or school. I often was freezing growing. Felt like I was managed by both parents each inflicting their truth. Had some bullying in school at the point I was mad at everything, and the feeling of not understanding things or the world made my body full with cortisol as I was in this state for years full of adrenaline as well. I tried get this out through sport but pushing adrenaline so hard and overtraining that I damaged my disc and had to do 3 years of physiotherapy. During which I transfered ownership of my dads car and business to my name to help them out. For the 3 years of this my adrenaline was constant when doing things or sleeping to the point I though I would not wake up. My blood pressure was jumping to 168 top and had often nosebleeds. I ended up paying for my dads fines with who I did not have a great relationship but ended up helping because he was still family. Also the business was so mismanaged, that the local IRS was on my back during high school and start of Uni, had to pay for the sale of it with my own little to none pocket money. I always hated my dad since during childhood what he did to my mom by hitting her and always reminding me that my mom was a psycho and wanted to jump off the building twice and end her life. Now I have cut ties with him for already 5 months and plan to never see him again. But while I was there he lived with his mom, my grandma, and she was slowly dying, I went once in a while to make the place better and tidy it up. The last time I went almost got in a fight as he started to push me around, I was cleaning up at the time and had scissors in my hand. As he went further towards me like a mad dog with saliva coming out of his mouth as he screamed I had those scissors in my hand knuckled up just in case. Thankfully I did not have to defend myself with them, but still. And soon after my my grandma died. I felt both so lost the responsible of not taking care of her more even though I hated that place with my guts all my life. Ended up responsible with one other relative to organize the funeral. I remember when I saw her dried up body so many memories with her were coming back and it haunted me. Soon after I went to her graveyard again to say goodbye one more time. Now I just turned 20, pretty good looking with a good body. Going through uni, but I cannot imagine myself having a relationship with anyone, I have grown up basically alone. As I try to interact end up manipulated and am just scouting so I don't get screwed over. And the thought of having a family of my own which I would like to be honest scares me, how can I find someone who I like and likes me with my history and raising a kid, I just do not want him to be fucked up and feel responsible. If things do not change probably won't have kids or will just try to find a partner who to live a life with.

Trigger Warning: Abuse, self harm, starvation.

I grew up learning how to hide hunger,pressing my stomach quiet in the night so no one would hear it begging. The fridge was a hollow mouth, always open, never giving, and I learned early how disappointment tastes. I knew the sting of a hand before I knew comfort.The way footsteps could tighten my throat, the way silence could be louder than yelling. I learned to flinch at shadows, to hold still like prey. At school, I laughed too loud, hid my ribs behind oversized hoodies, watched other kids throw food away while I swallowed my shame like it was dinner. I kept secrets in my skin, little red lines carved quiet in the dark, because pain I chose was easier than pain that chose me. Childhood wasn’t soft. It was slammed doors, plates I never touched, knuckles that taught me I was less than wanted. Hunger was more than food it was the absence of love, the certainty I was not enough. And still, I kept breathing, even when I didn’t want to. Every scar, every hollow space inside me, is proof I endured. Not clean, not unbroken, but here.

Hi everyone,

Just sharing my experience of using somatic healing and tools. I have severe depression & anxiety. I’ve found myself in public situations such as grocery shopping , commuting , working etc. when I’m alone can easily cause me to spiral in thoughts — often in the fight/ flight response. It’s really hard to push yourself out of it & gain that strength back. I did a lot of research around this and the polyvagal theory and somatic therapy both of which have helped immensely in my journey. I basically developed my own tool kit to help myself snap out of a dis regulated state whenever I noticed myself about to enter it. They are cards which target all 4 states (fight/flight/freeze/fawn + regulation) with a simple action you can do to make yourself calmer .

You can find it here .

Hopefully someone finds it as helpful as I did. Thank you.

Hey everyone,

I’m a 23-year-old gay man trapped in a forced marriage. My family’s hope is that by marrying a woman, I’ll suddenly “become straight” — as if love, identity, and who I am can be erased by tradition or expectation.

Every day, I live a lie that’s crushing my spirit. This isn’t just about a marriage — it’s about being forced to deny my true self, to silence the person I am deep inside. The pain is isolating, suffocating, and it’s destroying my mental health piece by piece.

Forced marriage isn’t just about control over who we marry. For LGBTQ+ people like me, it’s a battle for identity, for survival, and for a chance to live authentically.

I created r/ForcedMarriageSupport as a refuge — a place where we can share our stories, support each other, and remind ourselves we’re not alone in this fight.

If you’re struggling with the same, or just want to understand and support, please check it out.

Thank you for listening and holding space for this pain. It means everything.

If your trauma feels anything like mine, I’d be really grateful if you could share what has helped you in your healing journey.

I’m an extreme people-pleaser with a constant urge to keep running, doing, and proving myself — basically a “fawn" and "run” type.

My people-pleasing goes far beyond normal — sometimes it’s irrational, excessive and absurd. If someone attacks me, insults me, or criticizes me unfairly, I cannot do anything about it. The only response I know is humiliating attempts to grovel/please/fawn. It feels like I would even tolerate abuse from a total stranger, because my ability to show anger or defend myself is completely shut off. This isn’t even about close relationships or familiar abusers — I’m prepared to endure mistreatment from anyone, anywhere, even strangers. Sometimes I feel like a robot, programmed only to serve others, or a slave who learned from childhood that everyone else is a master and I exist to serve.

That’s why I’m afraid to leave my house. I know I’m incapable of protecting myself, even in the smallest ways. My protective instincts feel broken, so the only “safety plan” I have is avoiding people altogether. Of course, this makes it nearly impossible to hold a job.

And yet, at the same time, I’m still desperately hungry for love and approval. I can cry for hours if someone online leaves me even a slightly rude comment (it doesn’t even have to be offensive). It hurts deeply when I’m not chosen, even by acquaintances who barely know me. It hurts when someone else is complimented and I’m ignored.

If someone yells at me, my heart races and my body temperature spikes.

When I used to have more of a social life, I would pour every ounce of energy into trying to look good and be liked. Despite anemia, I worked out to the point of fainting. I spent hours learning about other people’s interests so I could reshape my personality to match theirs. I was willing to do almost anything to be accepted. I still feel that way today — but now that I’m aware of it, I’ve chosen to isolate myself. Because I know I can’t resist the urge to sacrifice myself for others.

I also live with a brutal inner critic that turns even the simplest daily tasks into a source of emotional pain. Because of this, I often don’t want to get out of bed, don’t want to do anything at all. For the past six years, I’ve spent most of my days lying in bed, barely moving. I’m too tired of hating myself and scaring myself with punishment for failure whenever I try to do something. So I stopped trying altogether — and that slowly turned into depression.

But this isn’t self-harm. On the contrary — it feels like a desperate attempt by my mind to finally find love, safety, and acceptance. My mind is working overtime, doing everything it can to protect me, but in all the wrong ways. Unfortunately, logical reasoning and CBT techniques haven’t worked for me. Intellectually, I understand everything. But emotionally and behaviorally, I’m stuck. No matter how hard I try to act differently, no matter how badly I want change, it feels impossible — as if I’m under a spell, stripped of free will. And that leaves me in despair.

Hi everyone, I experienced really severe childhood trauma, and its effects have become overwhelming in my daily life. I struggle with intense symptoms: anxiety, dissociation, physical tension, and feeling constantly distracted or unable to focus. I don’t have any access to a therapist for many years, and I’ve tried doing self-work. When I attempt to recall memories or face past pain, I feel real physical pain—my body reacts strongly, and sometimes it feels exhausting. I want to know: is deep healing really that painful? Is it possible to safely release forgotten subconscious memories without professional help? Has anyone ever managed to heal from childhood trauma without a therapist?

My girlfriend of 6 months (best friend of 12 years) shot herself in the face in our apartment on Friday. I found her. She struggled with depression, ptsd and possibly a few other things but regardless, she was an amazing woman, I understand why she did what she did. Stuff like that is always a possibility with people like us. When I found her I called my mother she wasn’t the first choice, my girlfriend was obviously that didn’t work. Her phone that was sitting next to her started ringing and I died inside. Right there in that moment I was dead internally. I crawled on top of her (after calling 911) and just laid there for the whole 15-20 minutes. Trying to feel her embrace again, her presence her warmth but I obviously found out pretty quickly that not only could she not hold and comfort me but she wasn’t there and her body was freezing cold. Like she had been working in a food plant all day or something. I rubbed her head, kissed her forehead and studied what I could of her in those final minutes because I had never been without her and it was all I could do besides the scream begging her to wake up. I can’t sleep without seeing her body laying there on the couch, I can’t close my eyes without seeing her eyes. I can’t do anything anymore. I went to our favorite beach last night ti feel close to her and I’ve been here for 18 hours. I don’t wanna hurt myself and I know I need therapy but guess what? I’m broke and no insurance so that’s literally not an option for me. Keeping myself busy will only work for so long. She was the love of my life, from the moment i met her to the day i get to join and will love her until the world dies and nothing including spirits are left. Idk what to do. Someone help me

Hi

Mom is a weird person. Everyone loves her but with me it’s hell. Let me break it down shortly: - committing adulter since I was 7 - I was a child and went on holiday with her Bf and hid this from the family - during my teenage years she would always call me and yell at me and would even wake up from her sleep to call me and control while my bffs moms were really fine with us going out ( I mean we were 16,17,18) - when I was 7 I had a tantrum not a big deal and she took my cat away and left her on the streets - when I was 24 during my masters she got sick, tumour, never took care of herself properly even tho I showed interest in helping her. She continued working and going to the office right after the surgery. After some time after her surgery I went through a breakup…thesis, left my stable job, depression.

Now I am a bit financially dependent for a few months even half year. She puts pressure on me saying she works all day all week for me, she would prefer me to have whatever job as long as for the money not considering I was trying to see what career I want to pursue further.

But she did this. Came to my graduation in my city and she knew I was sad and house not so clean. She started shaming me first 2 seconds she went inside… also when was time to go back to her home she took my dog away as she said I cannot afford to take care of him ( I do, I saved him, I was just depressing for not cleaning house properly). I had a nervous breakdown and tried to call her to ask to wait so I can get back the dog, I told her I need the dog. He is my love. He’s doing such good to me. She ignored me, blocked my calls, blamed me I act as a crazy person (bro I felt that in my heart when she took the dog while I was sleeping).

Now she says I don’t call her much and acts like never happened. I told her I see her with other eyes after that. Also even if I go home and try to take my dog she will have fights with me because of this.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have therapy money, I will start working physically every day and I will not have time for my dog the next few months..been working hybrid so was great but now what do I do. I cannot leave that dog 11 hours per day alone in the house every day.

I can’t cry anymore. I can’t even express when something hurts me. People say I’m cold, emotionless, like I don’t care about anything.

But the truth is, I was raised this way. Every time I tried to express pain, my parents shut me down. If I cried, they hit me. If I said I was wronged, they stood against me. I learned that showing feelings only leads to more punishment.

So I stopped crying. I stopped showing anything. On the outside, I look “calm,” but inside, it’s just… numbness. And I don’t know how to fix that

I recently had a experience physical heart burn after the guy I love rejected me. I respect his choice and him as a person, but while we were talking, I felt anxious, and he didn’t give me proper reassurance. When he rejected me, he also kind of gaslighted me, which triggered a past wound.

Since then, my anxiety shot up, and I feel emotionally drained and stuck in a back-and-forth spiral. I’m looking for strategies or advice to help me calm down and stop the spiral.

Trigger warning for COCSA survivors.

This is the angriest and most upset I’ve ever been on Reddit.

A girl posted in r/TrueOffMyChest that when she was 8, her cousin “scissored” her. Her cousin was the same age. She used that word. OP called it molestation. She said it confused and traumatized her.

And the replies?

• “That’s not molestation.”

• “Kids are just curious.”

• “Everyone does stuff like this.”

• “You didn’t say no, so it wasn’t abuse.”

I replied with actual information. Explained that:

• “Scissoring” is not normal play behavior between 8-year-olds. This is behavior most likely taught to the cousin by an abuser.

• Child-on-child sexual abuse is real

• Intent doesn’t cancel out harm

COCSA is one of the least believed forms of sexual abuse. It is misunderstood and victims are often blamed or belittled. This wasn’t a case of young children “playing Doctor”, as many commenters claimed. It was not their place to say.

And Reddit went nuts. OP got downvoted. OP was Mocked. One person told ME I was spiraling because no one liked me enough to play those ‘games’ with me… because I was defending OP.

I reached out to the moderator of COCSA who agreed the comments to OP were incredibly inappropriate.

It still doesn’t make it okay what happened to OP.

Redditor saying no one played sexual games with me so I must be “jealous”:

Made fun of for sticking up for OP:

OP being shamed because she said this experience made her hypersexual:

Edit and Update: moderation has asked me to remove direct links to said comments to avoid direct Reddit user harassment.