r/whowouldwin • u/Odd_Mongoose3175 • Mar 10 '25

Battle A Komodo Dragon appears near every person on Earth. How screwed are we?

At 12am in every country, a Komodo dragon appears behind every person on earth. How screwed are we?

  • The Komodo dragon magically spawns at least 8m behind/adjacent/above/under the human if enough space, by default. If none, then they just spawn wherever they could fit behind the human

  • Its a hungry male Komodo Dragon

  • Win via death of above 97% humanity/Komodo death

Round 1: Base Komodo

Round 2: The Komodos can somehow fly far as a chicken, knows how to throw stuff, shoot their Venom like a laser as far as 10m and have black belt in BJJ

Round 3: Same as R1 but a Megalania is in front of the human in case Komodo fails

876 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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114

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25 edited Jul 23 '25

[deleted]

11

u/LordUpton Mar 10 '25

But then there's also cops. With guns.

British police armed with their batons "We were not prepared for the surprise Komodo attack."

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u/DarkusHydranoid Mar 11 '25

"Hope you lot got a license for that poison.".

Proceeds to baton the living daylights out of a dozen Komodo dragons

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Actually, they are venomous. It's not bacteria. That is an old myth.

The lizards will die first, but a lot of people will die after. Almost everybody will be bitten. Or let's say at least 50%. That is a lot of fucking people going to an understaffed hospital which also was attacked. They will 100% not have enough supplies or human resources to help everyone.

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u/moonra_zk Mar 10 '25

Actually, they are venomous. It's not bacteria. That is an old myth.

I don't think there's consensus on that yet, and it doesn't seem like their venom is very effective on humans.

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u/Due_Chemistry_6642 Mar 10 '25

There is consensus, an international research team definitively proved this in 2009 but the bacteria tale has stuck throughout the ages (mostly because the also have a large amount of bacteria in their mouths), the area which is up for debate is the efficacy of the venom which mostly acts as an anti coagulant and helps weaken and bleed out prey, Komodo dragons kill larger prey with a few bites then following the prey and over powering it when the venom has done its job, however the bacteria may also play a part in this i.e weakening them further (though this is doubtful as the bacteria strains discovered were nothing special in terms of fast acting)

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u/Col_Redips Mar 10 '25

The great venom debate is one of my favorite “we should have moved past this already, we have the technology” issues to persist to modern days.

Just came across a Komodo vid a week or two ago, and people against the venom idea were like “Okay, so maybe it injects something in its bite. But that doesn’t directly cause death, so it’s not actually technically venomous by definition!”

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u/GRex2595 Mar 10 '25

Wait, but that's actually a valid point. The definition of venom is "a poisonous substance secreted by animals such as snakes, spiders, and scorpions and typically injected into prey or aggressors by biting or stinging." So the "venom" has to be poisonous to be considered venom. Does the anti-coagulant in a komodo's bite have the ability to be poisonous at the levels it's being injected? Do we need a new word for what the komodo dragons have or is the definition wrong?

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u/Col_Redips Mar 10 '25

Nobody will be able to give you a straight answer. The proponents both for and against the venomous classification have basically been arguing semantics for years.

I am not a biologist. But based on the information I was exposed to, I’m siding with the “yes it’s venomous.” team.

The best argument I have seen from the other side is “Well we don’t want to invalidate decades of journals and research (ie we don’t want to admit we were wrong the whole time.). Which is not a good reason, but the video may have been biased. Maybe the real best reason would be not meeting the technical definition of venomous.

It bites. It injects. It waits for its payload to take effect. I again, I’m not a biologist. But the aforementioned steps are followed pretty much by all other venomous creatures. So it’s good enough for me, at least.

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u/GRex2595 Mar 10 '25

Thanks for the response. I did some additional research after my reply, and I've concluded that the Oxford definition isn't great. The other definition I found used "toxin" rather than "poison" and a further link explained the hemotoxin misnomer. I think that venomous is an appropriate classification. The video you watched seemed to be way off base for its argument, though. Venom describes the substance's source and effects, not its primary usage.

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u/Debas3r11 Mar 12 '25

I'm glad I opened this just for this thread. TIL

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u/Due_Chemistry_6642 Mar 10 '25

The definition is correct it's a Haemotoxin, basically these toxins attack the blood cells and this prevents clotting, (though they also attack the organs so it's somthing of a misnomer as given time your internal organs fall apart) other animals have more potent versions of this mostly snakes and some of the more dangerous spiders (pit vipers for example) where they would usually deliver one bite, however the Komodo dragon (and by association I'm guessing Gilla monster/beaded lizard) have teeth which is less effective delivery system hence a multiple bite attack (also likely they have less dangerous venom?)

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u/GRex2595 Mar 10 '25

Thanks. I did some more research and found that the Oxford definition doesn't quite match what appears to be the biological definition which uses "toxin" rather than "poison" and found similar info about haemotoxins being a misnomer like you said. Appreciate the helpful response.

In either case, the person in the video was wrong. Venom doesn't describe the primary killing method but rather the source and effects of the substance. That was just a bad argument.

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u/Fast_Introduction_34 Mar 10 '25

Definitions can't be wrong though cause that's what they do no?

They can be changed, but outright wrong isn't possible ?

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u/GRex2595 Mar 10 '25

Wrong is certainly possible. At least, it is linguistically. You have to remember that words come first then definitions. As a general rule, we make a word for something, then we have to describe the something we made that word for. That second part is how we come to have definitions. See the featherless chicken is a man example from ancient Greece.

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u/Fast_Introduction_34 Mar 10 '25

Hm fair, featherless biped lol

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u/Yankas Mar 11 '25

It's not a valid point, people making it would never apply this kind of argument to any other kind of animal that uses venom but is harmless to humans.

No one is going to argue that a bees, ants, various smaller snakes and spiders.
There are thousands of animals whose bites range from completely ineffective to mildly annoying that people will universally agree are still venomous.
Why would this specific lizard be an exception? Either it employs venom or it does not, the danger level is completely irrelevant.

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u/GRex2595 Mar 11 '25

The danger level could be considered relevant for their target prey/enemy animals. Regardless, my point was more about harm caused than true deadliness. Originally, I wasn't aware that anti-coagulants could cause harm beyond just preventing clotting. If something can't cause harm without significantly higher doses than what is typically used, then that thing might not be poisonous, which makes it not a venom. I acknowledge my misunderstanding of venom and anti-coagulants in my other replies, so feel free to take a look at those.

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u/lordmonkeyfish Mar 13 '25

By the same reasoning mosquitoes are venomous too... Not really sure what that means, but it seemed relevant 😅

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u/GRex2595 Mar 13 '25

Well, I did a Google search and according to this, mosquitoes may be venomous. Classification is super fun.

4

u/AureliasTenant Mar 10 '25

How do you figure at least 50%? Most people are going to be in another room and probably hear it around the house or something…

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

Yeah. Then what are you going to do? Stay locked up until when? You aren't a priority for cops nor the army.

Will the door outlast the lizard? What if more come?

Plus, most people do not have good reflexes nor good judgement in high stress environments.

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u/deathbylasersss Mar 10 '25

"Actually, they are venomous. It's not bacteria."

Both probably contribute to differing degrees. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

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u/Imaginary_Gap_ Mar 14 '25

I think saying over 50% of people get bit is a huge overestimation. As the original commenter pointed out, most of the time they’ll be spawning somewhere where they can’t immediately get to you. Most people will have time to run and get into their car if not grab a gun or large knife and easily dispatch it.

10

u/Odd_Mongoose3175 Mar 10 '25

panics for a bit outside of the USMC that turns it into a wargame scenario where kemodo dragons spawn in about 8 meters from every marine

how wud they fare in round 3 where a megalania and komodo will jump each person?

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u/General-MacDavis Mar 10 '25

Gun is still gun, some people die/get poisoned but you have to remember that a marine corps barracks/fort will probably have the necessary medical supplies

6

u/phunktastic_1 Mar 10 '25

Marines aren't just walking around 24/7 armed outside warzones.

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u/Existing_Charity_818 Mar 10 '25

Top comment in this thread points out that 12am is not the same for every country and the US has almost 24 hours of warning

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u/phunktastic_1 Mar 10 '25 edited Mar 10 '25

It doesn't state it happens at 12 am only in that country it says at 12 am in each country every person on earth has one pop behind them if you want to play that game. Meaning at 12am in each country everyone on earth gets a komodo dragon.

Edit down vote all you like but it clearly states at 12 am in every country, every person on earth has a komodo dragon spawn behind them. Luckily the first couple hours have limited numbers of countries so it starts slow but once it hits Oceania and Asia the world if screwed as each person starts stacking komodos behind them. And each hour gets worse as ammo supplies run out. World is done by hour 6 or 7 tops if everyone with a firearm has warning before the first event and gets to prep.

2

u/alkatori Mar 10 '25

Then at 12am I've got the kids in the center of a circle with a few friends and a few AK rifles from my gun safe.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '25

 Dumb lizard is completely fucked.

Oh yeah? Look behind you bud

1

u/Double-Bend-716 Mar 10 '25

USMC leaders will offer extra crayons to eat for every lizard head a person turns in

1

u/Fickle_Meet_7154 Mar 10 '25

You think Komodo Dragons aren't apex predators?

1

u/Traditional_Bug_2046 Mar 11 '25

In a lot of these examples, wouldn't there be like a TON of komodos? One for every person. In a heavily crowded place like a subway or plane, a lot of people and komodos will end up immediately crushed.

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u/MrNature73 Mar 11 '25

My point is that it says 8 meters away, yeah? That's a smidge over 26 feet. 26 feet in any direction on a plain is mostly space outside of the plane, same for a subway. Only a small number would actually be on the subway or plane, which would be a lot more manageable. Just a spitball it'd probably be like, 1:10 at worst and 1:30 at best, since it needs to spawn in space it fits, and if it's at the same time komodos can't stack.

Honestly my bigger worry on planes would be a komodo hitting a turbine.

1

u/SharpyButtsalot Mar 11 '25

Who are some of your favorite authors?

2

u/MrNature73 Mar 11 '25

?

I'm a pretty big fan of Robert Heinlein, Frank Herbert and Lovecraft. Why?

1

u/SharpyButtsalot Mar 11 '25

Your writing style. You change tenses and blend active and passive voice, mix technical and slang. Your authors makes it make sense. Starship troopers protagonist mentality grinding it out against a dune like environmental biological foe with the immediacy and chaos that could only exist in halls of Miskatonic U.