r/whowouldwin • u/retired-tweeter • 4d ago

Battle All 47 US Presidents are running against each other in a 40 yard dash. Who wins?

Every U.S. President is magically cloned into their peak physical form, dropped onto a football field, and lined up for a 40-yard dash. Who ya got?

Favorites:

JFK: 2 sport college athlete, plus military training. Swam 3.5 miles towing an injured soldier with a bad back.

Gerald Ford: Another strong military background who was a two-way football player at Michigan.

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Extensive military career, who played halfback at west point until his injury. Guessing he was a little fast even in segregated times

Barack Obama: Gonna get a lot of votes here probably as one of the only presidents we've seen in action playing an athletic sport, but no athletic background, so you know, can't give him too much credit

Donald Trump: In doing my 20 minutes worth of research, I came across this quote from a Ted Levine in 2015 (In an article about Trump running in 2016 so...take that as you will) "He was just the best, a good athlete, a great athlete," Levine said. "He could have probably played pro ball as a pitcher. I think he threw 80 miles an hour.... He was physically and mentally gifted." So there's that (Source: https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-high-school-classmates-what-he-was-like-2015-10)

All in All, I'd lean Gerald Ford. JFK had injury issues so who knows what his "prime" would have been athletically. Maybe at absolute peak and health, JFK could win, but I'm going with the 2-way football player from Michigan.

797 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

490 comments sorted by

View all comments

54

u/PoopSmith87 4d ago

I'm going Lincoln

Abe was an athletic monster. His wrestling dominance (which was more like bareknuckle MMA with almost no rules) is well documented, his feats of strength are legendary... less celebrated but still known, is that he also loved a good foot race. Give him good running shoes, and I bet his insane fast twitch muscle has him smoking a 40.

18

u/FrankSinatraYodeling 4d ago

Wrestling is arguably the most physically demanding collegiate sport. I suspect the guy had some freakish ability.

2

u/versusChou ​ 4d ago

Wrestling is up there, but I don't think anything beats water polo.

5

u/agentdb22 4d ago

Have you heard of Badminton?

3

u/Chemical-Butterfly78 4d ago

Wait until we get a president with a pickleball background.

2

u/versusChou ​ 3d ago

Water polo you're treading water or swimming the entire time. When you swim, you're sprinting. You're being punched, kicked, grappled and scratched underwater. Badminton may have a lot of hard cuts and sprinting, but at least you can catch your breath. Water polo, even when you're "resting", you're treading water.

4

u/agentdb22 3d ago

Yeah, but you're forgetting how in badminton, if the match goes on for too long, they have to fight The Winged Dragon of Ra with nothing but their shuttlecocks and racquets

3

u/versusChou ​ 3d ago

Well that depends on how Ra was summoned. If they don't pay their lifepoints, the thing has 0 attack and defense.

2

u/agentdb22 3d ago

Yes, but The Winged Dragon of Ra has a secret effect, that if you recite the ancient chant, it has essentially infinite attack and defence, cannot be destroyed by any means, and prevents essentially every card from being summoned.

(My entire knowledge of Yu-Gi-Oh comes from a single SolidJJ skit)

1

u/GundalfForHire 4d ago

He was also tall, which I'm not really seeing anybody talk about. I am pretty sure a long stride is gonna help a lot here.