r/whowouldwin • u/retired-tweeter • 4d ago

Battle All 47 US Presidents are running against each other in a 40 yard dash. Who wins?

Every U.S. President is magically cloned into their peak physical form, dropped onto a football field, and lined up for a 40-yard dash. Who ya got?

Favorites:

JFK: 2 sport college athlete, plus military training. Swam 3.5 miles towing an injured soldier with a bad back.

Gerald Ford: Another strong military background who was a two-way football player at Michigan.

Dwight D. Eisenhower: Extensive military career, who played halfback at west point until his injury. Guessing he was a little fast even in segregated times

Barack Obama: Gonna get a lot of votes here probably as one of the only presidents we've seen in action playing an athletic sport, but no athletic background, so you know, can't give him too much credit

Donald Trump: In doing my 20 minutes worth of research, I came across this quote from a Ted Levine in 2015 (In an article about Trump running in 2016 so...take that as you will) "He was just the best, a good athlete, a great athlete," Levine said. "He could have probably played pro ball as a pitcher. I think he threw 80 miles an hour.... He was physically and mentally gifted." So there's that (Source: https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-high-school-classmates-what-he-was-like-2015-10)

All in All, I'd lean Gerald Ford. JFK had injury issues so who knows what his "prime" would have been athletically. Maybe at absolute peak and health, JFK could win, but I'm going with the 2-way football player from Michigan.

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u/FeralTames 4d ago

Fun fact: There has never been an American President to dunk a basketball on a regulation height hoop (10 feet). Tho I’d like to THINK Honest Abe Lincoln, standing at a relatively imposing 6’4”, with some serious mitts, the sneaky length NBA scouts salivate over, and a background in wrestling, prolly COULD have.

Unfortunately he was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth while watching a performance of “Our American Cousin” in Ford’s Theatre, April 14th, 1865, which was 26 years BEFORE James Naismith (Canadian 🤷🏻) invented the game in 1891.

This not only left Andrew Johnson, a stalwart Dixiecrat and southern sympathizer, to handle an arguably doomed reformation, but also seriously impacted Lincoln’s ability to perform a ferocious jam (or even a lil rim grazer, I ain’t picky). While white men not being capable of jumping is generally considered a gross exaggeration, dead men actually can not jump. Not at all.

Honorable mentions go to Barrack Obama, standing at 6’2” and a fairly accomplished hooper, but according to friends, unable to dunk, and LBJ, also standing at 6’4”, but just doesn’t strike me as the kinda cat with any sorta serious hops. (See above)

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u/AdditionalBranch2543 4d ago

Yeah I have a suspicion that Abe was the most freak athlete of all presidents— the Wilt. He was a seriously elite wrestler and could hold an axe at arms-length forever. I know a lot of unathletic wrestlers, but I think Abe was just built different.

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u/Melodic-Beach-5411 4d ago

Abraham Lincoln also killed vampires and could run across the backs of stampeding horses. Abe FTW

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u/Lumphrey 3d ago

Came here to say this

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u/Melodic-Beach-5411 3d ago

Great minds 🫡

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u/CosmicFury711 3d ago

He is also one of the world’s greatest superheroes and was the strongest hero on Earth, until Omni-Man came along

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u/RemusShepherd ​ 4d ago

Abraham Lincoln was built different. He was a mutant, born with Marfan's syndrome, a disease that usually causes the muscles to waste and deteriorate. But the physical labor of his youth out-conditioned the disease, building incredible amounts of muscle to compensate for any weakness and then over-building it to give him phenomenal strenght.

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u/simplyinfinities 2d ago

There is no evidence that he had Marfan's. There is speculation about it but nothing has been proved.

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u/Gingermiah 7h ago

I'm not sure what you mean here. You can't "out condition" Marfan Syndrome.its a generic condition. No amount of hard work is going to rewrite your DNA.

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u/Arctic_The_Hunter 1d ago

Nowhere close to George Washington, who was 6’8” and weighed a fucking ton.

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u/PM-me-YOUR-0Face 4d ago

As we enter the dead internet era, I wanted to note how much I loved your post. q

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u/ElMuchoDingDong 4d ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

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u/mehatch 3d ago

The highest compliment, and well earned.

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u/Peeeeeeeeeej 3d ago

To add to LBJ, it is noted that he was constantly worried about his giant scrotum and that he required pants with extra crotch room. I would assume that LBJ probably didn't have jump due to the weight of his massive testicles

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u/dangshnizzle 4d ago

I've been led to believe that Millard Fillmore could

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u/ProfessorAngus 3d ago

My first thought!

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u/pimpdaddyjacob 4d ago

LBJ (LeBron James)

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u/bldkis 4d ago

sham country tbh. get jordan in there

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u/ShermansAngryGhost 3d ago

I’m not gonna lie I had to check the user name half way through to make sure I wasn’t about to read about the undertaker putting mankind through a table

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u/PlagueisTheArrogant 3d ago

I’d like to mention that jumping ability is pretty negatively impacted by height. And is a specific skill not directly tied to general athleticism. I’m 6’6” and could dunk my freshman year of high school. But I quit basketball. Sophomore year I ran 3 miles a day and could pitch in the low 80s and could no longer dunk. So Lincoln could maybe dunk. If he specifically trained to do so.

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u/SeaworthinessSome454 3d ago

6’4 isn’t that tall. Plenty of guys in the nba that tall that need to be wide open, all by the themselves, in order to dunk. Some guys that tall can’t dunk at all and that’s with being in peak physical conditioning being their job. You have to get to 6’7-6’8 before being able to dunk is a given.

I’d be shocked if Abe could’ve dunked. Not tall enough.

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u/Mura_14 3d ago

When lebron takes office this will be one more record for him to break 👑

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u/Hoosiers3838 3d ago

He was also a championship wrestler.

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u/Watchmeplayguitar 4d ago

What exactly has Obama accomplished as a hooper other than riding the pine at his private high Hawaiian high school?