r/whowouldwin • u/mrcelophane ​ • Dec 27 '15

Interactive Character Scramble V Round 3 vote topic

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Ok guys, Happy Hollidays, Merry Christmas, all that stuff. Everyone has had well over the amount of time that was promised. I hope those of you who finished in the normal amount of time enjoyed your all-star break but its time to get back to business.

Here is the link for the vote form

You as always have at least 48 hours. That means till at least tuesday morning.

I am going to try to get us back on a normal schedule this coming week.

12 Upvotes

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3

u/KiwiArms ​ Dec 27 '15

Guys, who wants writing critique? Me! Any complaints or tips based on what I wrote this round?

5

u/SanityMeter ​ Dec 27 '15

Ooh! As the designated lurker, I have just the neutrality needed to do that!

In terms of writing style, I really like your stuff--good pacing, good dialogue, nice split between your team and your enemy team's perspective. There's a couple parts where your fight choreography is a little lacking--the 1v1 between Korra and Delsin is pretty abrupt, and it feels like you maybe underutilized both of their powersets, but there was a time limit and everything, so I get that. The ending is actually pretty satisfying, and it makes sense for Amadeus' character. Actually all the character logic is pretty good, considering the awfully specific requirements for the round.

In terms of the matchup, I think your analysis is pretty good, although if you were completely making up powers for Furuichi and Yuma I would have no way to tell. You're fighting against Slenderman's weirdly imbalanced powerset, and I think using it for debuffs and npc-killing is about as good as you're going to get. You put a lot of good detail into the predator's thought process that I kind of wish you also brought to the Thanator fight, which got a little confusing with what exactly was happening.

I'm not sure if that's like a helpful critique, because I don't think there actually exist any literary standards for criticizing competitive reddit-based crossover fanfiction, but I feel like I've got to use my experience workshopping scripts somewhere.

6

u/7thSonOfSons ​ Dec 27 '15

Oh mighty lurker-who-posts, what say ye about my own writing?

1

u/KiwiArms ​ Dec 28 '15

7th-senpai, may I also critique your writing?

1

u/7thSonOfSons ​ Dec 28 '15 edited Dec 28 '15

Yes please. The better my writing gets, the better a dragon I can be for future generations of Scramblers.

I'm not really for giving critiques myself, just cuz I try to be real nice, and unless obvious flaws are evident, I don't like to nitpick.