r/whowouldwin • u/LetterSequence • Aug 18 '16
Character Scramble VI Winner's Semifinals: The Royal Scramble
The Character Scramble is a bloodmatch tournament where people compete to write the best story they can. At the beginning, everyone submits characters that meet the guidelines, then those characters are randomized and distributed evenly. From then on, each week there's a new writing prompt for everyone to follow. At the end of the week, everyone votes for who they think should advance, until we have our winner at the end. The winner at the end of the tournament gets to choose the theme, tier, and rules of the next scramble, along with a nice custom flair as their reward. The current theme is Wrestling, and the current tier is 3/10 Venom to 7/10 Carnage. There are currently only two more weeks until the finale, so stay tuned!
Click here to join the email list
Come help plan the next adventure at /r/ProjectWubWub
Come join our official Discord Channel!
This match is between /u/Cleverly_Clearly and /u/Sanitymeter. This fight will decide who makes it to the grand finale, and who has to participate in the loser's finals. These two spent a whole three weeks on this prompt, so be sure to treat the stories with great respect, as it took a long time for everything to come together.
After delivering the orb to Phane, it seems like they really did manage to solve everything. Maybe a little too well, though. Your team has been left alone for a whole week. No matches, no threats from the Scramble Gods, no prompts, simply nothing. They’ve been enjoying this rest time (or hating it, I dunno I’m not your mom), but the back of their mind has always been wondering, what was up with everything? Is that really it? Is everything really fixed? But most importantly, who was trying to sabotage the scramble?
It seems that all of their questions will be answered tonight, because a mysterious note was left in their locker room. “Come to the ring in 10 minutes.” Seeing little else to do, they head there and see two things. The first is another wrestling team, which after a quick conversation realizes they got the same note as you. The second is a mysterious hooded figure in the middle of the ring, with a microphone in one hand, and the orb you retrieved earlier in the other!
“How do you have that?” one of the eight wrestlers asks. The hooded figure simply laughs. “I have it because I’m the one who’s been messing with the scramble. Pulling timelines left and right. When you have infinite power and you get bored. And when you get bored, well, lots of things seem fun. Even at the cost of some innocent scrambler’s lives.” The wrestlers get angry, when one of them shouts at the figure, “Who are you? Show yourself!” After a laugh, they get a simple response. “Unmask me yourself.”
The air is stiff, the crowd is silent in anticipation, and the scramblers don’t know what to do. They discuss it with each other, before one of them decides to jump in the ring. They hesitantly reach their hand out, and remove the hood in one fell swoop. “Y-you!? It was you!?” A menacing laugh is heard before he screams into the microphone in his hands. “It was me, Phane! It was me all along, Phane! You all bought it!” The mysterious figure, the one destroying timelines, bringing universes together, and tearing apart the very core of the scramble… was none other than Letter!
“I’ve also got a nice little surprise for you two teams. Using the power of Missingno inside this ball, I can rival even Phane. So, tonight, one of you will make it to the finals, ready for your championship match. The other… is going home tonight as a loser! Now, I just have one question for you guys…” He holds the ball high in the sky, releasing its dark energy into the air. “Are you all ready to rumble?” The energy surrounds the teams, before they all get sent teleported to different locations.
The scramblers are all sent backstage in their respective locker rooms. All they have on them is a number, and a rule sheet explaining what type of match this is. A royal rumble. Once their number is called, they’ll be teleported to the arena at the top of the ramp, with no way to escape unless they win or lose. They’ll simply have to fight. While they’re getting ready to fight, they notice someone very important is missing. Where’s their manager?
Well, it seems that Letter gets to make some new friends. Two, in fact. Phane’s office seems to be completely empty for some reason, and Letter has dragged both of them into the office with no way to leave. Mostly because he locked the door and hid the key somewhere real good. “Don’t worry guys. I’ve given you headsets to keep in touch with your team while they’re out there. But this way I can ensure there’s no last minute “enhancements” or “commands” given to anyone using your special powers. For now, sit back, relax…” Letter turns on a television, showing the wrestling arena as the first person enters the ring. “...and enjoy the show.”
Normal Rules
Team Preview: Look at all these obscure characters in the scramble! Give a brief summary of your characters in your post. Be sure to mention things like powers, personality, weaknesses, just stuff that the average reader should know before reading.
You Always Go Over: Wrestling is totally real and the fights are legit, never staged at all, promise. In your write up, your team needs to win. Even if you think your team would lose 9/10 times, mention that in your post, then say how your team wins 1/10 times.
Well, It’s the Big Show: The arena will always be able to hold all the wrestlers inside. No matter if you’re a giant robot, monster, or alien thing, you’ll always find a way to fit inside the ring. The ring is also indestructible, and won’t be destroyed because someone super strong jumped on it or anything like that.
Not Your Gimmick: Characters are assumed to be at the same power level they started the tournament at at all times. To clarify, this means you would not be able to loot Triple H of his Sledgehammer if you beat him in a previous round, or otherwise gain a competitive advantage based on anything that happened in a previous round. This is to aid your opponent in research of your character.
I Guess Every Superhero Needs His Theme Music: You can’t be a wrestling team without an entrance! Give your team a song that fits them. Doesn’t matter what type of song it is, as long as they have some sort of entrance music. It is common for there to be theme music for both each wrestler individually and one for the team, depending on who they are representing when they make their entrance.
Due Date: Whenever you finish tbh, you have three loser’s matches to go through.
Please Vote: If you don’t vote, then you don’t win. It’s that simple. Not voting means you get kicked out of the tournament, so you should probably do that shit ASAP rocky.
Round Specific Rules
Match Type: Royal Rumble. Let me give you a quick rundown of what a Royal Rumble is. A Royal Rumble is a simple match. Every 60 seconds, a new wrestler enters the ring, with a total of 30 wrestlers the whole match. If both of the wrestler’s feet touch the outside of the ring after being thrown over the top rope, they’re considered out. The objective is to throw as many people out of the ring as you can, while staying in the ring as long as you can. To count this as a win, at least one member of your team needs to be the last member remaining in the ring.
Manager Involvement: Becoming BFF’s with Letter. Both managers are side by side in a room with Letter, with headsets on to communicate to their team and real time footage of the fight. So naturally, issuing orders should be easy. However, with the other manager next to you, counter orders will also be easy. As will counter counter orders. As will… you get the idea.
You’re on First!: One of the members of your team was unlucky enough to draw the #1 slot. That means they’ll have to be in the ring from the beginning and last as long as they can against everyone else.
2-30: It’s your job to determine who got numbers 2-30. Now you may be wondering “But there’s only 6 people in this round, how am I supposed to get 24 more?” Well, it’s simple. Get creative. I’ll allow you to choose whoever you want to occupy the other slots, with the only restriction being that they need to be people who have been submitted to a scramble before.
Grounded: “Oh, I’ll just fly around the arena and won’t have to worry about a thing!” Nice try. If you spend more than 15 seconds flying or floating in the air, then gravity will begin to increase around you. It’ll be slow, but if you stay too long in the air, you’ll eventually sink like a stone into the ground. Wouldn’t want to drop like a rock outside the ring, would you?
Stupid Animals…: Making this so complicated. Alright, normally humans just need to touch the ground with their TWO feet to be eliminated. So, for Rainbow Dash, if two of her legs touch outside the arena, she’s out. If four of Kumonga’s legs touch the ground, he’s out. Lastly, considering the T-1000 is a pile of goop, if he gets thrown out the ring at all, he’s out.
Flavor Rules
By God, He’s Broken in Half!: Sometimes, there’s announcers during matches, and announcers usually say some crazy shit. If you so wish, you can write these announcers providing commentary over the match. Your announcers today are… whoever you want them to be.
I can’t believe you’ve done this.: Letter seems like a pretty crazy (and sexy) guy, but every villain must have a reason for doing what they’ve done. So, why is Letter trying to sabotage the scramble?
You can vote on the stories in this voting form. Voting will end on Sunday morning. Get ready to choose your potential future champion!
4
u/Cleverly_Clearly Aug 18 '16
Turn 52: Last Ride
Flying in at the speed of sound, Rainbow burst in as a living bullet and slammed into Garfield, performing a sharp 90-degree turn, and pulling him up into the air.
Did anybody see what-
Then she dropped him.
Wait, wait a minute!
It’s Garfield! He’s in the air!
I thought that Rainbow Dash was the one with the, you know, purple skin.
No, that’s Purple Smart.
You’re wrong, my dad works at Hasbro and the company is going to change the names, he told me.
Due to his incredible cat muscles, Garfield bounced when he hit the floor. He was tougher than he looked, and he looked as tough as any man could hope to look. “Only women and cowards use their speed to hide,” Garfield chided. “Come out and fight like man!”
Rainbow Dash didn’t have much of a response for him. By the time that he’d finished saying it, she’d done a loop in the air and come around again. This time, Garfield was prepared, and he’d steeled his incredible cat-muscles. When she hit his iron abs, she bounced off.
“Rainbow Dash!” Polnareff called out. “Help me out!” Corvo and Bruno had backed him into a corner and were threatening to push him over the turnbuckle. Sticky Fingers could keep up with Silver Chariot’s speed already, and that was without Corvo shoving him around. She decided to ignore Garfield for the time being, heading to Polnareff’s side. Before Corvo knew what was happening, he was outside the arena.
Corvo is out!
Polnareff is the only survivor of the Kumonga attack left in the ring!
Polnareff has been doing pretty damn good so far, you’ve got to admit.
It’s that Jojo luck.
He survived getting eaten by a kaiju, he’s been in the arena for about half the Rumble, things are looking up for Polnareff!
But how long is he going to last?
Rainbow Dash turned her attention to Bruno. Despite her speed, Sticky Fingers was just as fast, and he had already tagged her before she knew what was happening. As soon as he’d touched one of her legs, the zipper appeared, and separated her left foreleg from her body. She seemed unfazed, continuing to attack and push Bruno back.
Rainbow Dash seems kind of, uh, single-minded here.
She just hates his haircut.
So would anybody.
Are we sending in another wrestler?
Yep.
You excited?
Maybe?
Good, because we’re bringing in the LUNATIC CULTIST!
Vile Acolyte
LUNATIC CULTIST
I’ve never played this game.
It’s just a rip-off of Starbound anyway.
There was no run-up. The Cultist had already teleported into the arena.
Who’s in now?
Uh, Pol, the pony, Garfield, Bruno, and now-
Garfield rammed his fist into the Cultist’s face. He recoiled from the attack, disappearing into a puff of smoke. He appeared in the air, surrounded by multiple copies of himself.
“More targets for me to SLAM!” Garfield yelled with punching, using his catlike jumping prowess to leap up to the cultists, slashing at them with his rough claws. The moment he struck the robes of the nearest cultist, a great ball of lightning was summoned, zapping him with hundreds of thousands of volts. He simply smiled. “Ha, masked cretin! Electricity evaporates across my mighty man muscle!”
Rainbow Dash flew up to greet them. A fireball barely touched her wing, singing the feathers, but she just decided not to worry about it. She rushed the nearest cultist, getting in seven hits with her bare hooves before he teleported away. She noticed that she was beginning to waver in the air.
Have we explained this yet?
Letter hates it when wrestlers fly around in the ring without fighting, so he made it so that you can’t fly for too long without beginning to sink!
Rainbow was driving into the ground. She couldn’t afford to get out this early in the match! Her wings weren’t working, and if she continued to plummet, she was going to be eliminated. Her only chance would be if-
She landed on something soft. Rainbow looked down. It was the guy in the white coat who’d broken her fall. One foot was on his stomach, one foot was on his chest, and the other remaining foot was on the ground.
Bruno is out!
WHAT HAPPENED?!
Polnareff dusted off his hands. “Di molto!”, he said, chuckling.
Polnareff fucking threw him!
Wait, Rainbow Dash hasn’t officially touched the ground-
Rainbow began sliding back into the arena. Using her leg as an oar, she pushed Bruno across the floor towards the arena.
SHE’S COMING BACK IN!
Oh my God.
Bruno has turned into a canoe.
Once she’d reached the ring, she slipped in under the ropes and started heading for Garfield.
“You again? Looks like you did not learn your lesson the first time!”
Rainbow’s hoof met his fist. It was tougher to fight with one hoof zipped off, her flight was limited, and she didn’t have that much of a speed advantage against Garfield, but she had determination, and she could power through it, as long as she didn’t worry about it.
A blast of ice struck beside her, probably from the Cultist, but it didn’t bother her. She kept on going forward, attacking, pushing Garfield back against the ropes. Polnareff used his Stand’s powerful legs to propel himself into the air, and grabbed onto one of the cultist’s legs. The cultist started flying wildly, trying to throw him off, even as he started sinking to the floor of the ring.
Do we have a fifth combatant coming into the ring? The seventeenth opponent?
You bet.
And who would that be?
Why, it’s - I hope I’m pronouncing this right - RANMA SAOTOME!
Indiscriminate Grappler
RANMA SAOTOME**
Now, you may ask, who is Ranma Saotome?
And well you may ask.
This is writer-centric selection at it’s finest.
Yeah, like the guy who wrote all the Ranma ½ respect threads isn’t going to write Ranma Saotome.
As the four-player battle raged on in the arena, Ranma jogged in, waving, smiling for the crowd. He was pretty sure he was going to win this one. He got in more than halfway through the royal rumble, he was in peak physical condition, and he’d been training ever since the end of Season IV. He was psyched to win.
You know, if they had a sequel to Ranma 1/2, they could have called it-
The more popular Ranma ½ series, Ranma ½: Nettohen, is in fact the second iteration of the Ranma series. There was another series that didn’t get past 14 episodes.
Oh, well, fuck you then.
I was just-
I had a sick joke just now, and you ruined it.
How the fuck do you have a sick joke about Ranma ½? Have you been sitting on that joke for twenty fucking years?
No, I just thought of it, it was going to be great, and you messed it up.
Could you have picked a more obscure show?
Shut up.
”Oh man, I can’t wait until somebody makes a reference to fucking Project A-ko, I’ve got the sickest joke for them!”
Shut up!
He slipped into the arena. He knew exactly how he was going to handle things. Soften ‘em up a bit, then hit them with a signature move. Everybody was going to love that! It was going to make up for getting beaten by Shichika in that other season. He was going to bring himself back into the hearts of fans everywhere.
He looked up into the face of a giant cat.
Oh, wow. Look at that smile fade away.
He came in with his dick rock-hard, and now it’s all floppy and sad.
It’s like me when I watch Bible Black. Please don’t quote me on that.
“How do you think you can defeat me?”, Garfield asked. “You are limp like Chinese noodles, and I am mighty and rich like lasagna.”
Ranma was stuck for an answer.
With Ranma and Garfield in the same arena, some fur is bound to fly, because a little-known fact is that he has a desperate and nearly paralyzing fear of shitty newspaper comics.
I think I have that problem too.
Is that why you started uncontrollably vomiting when you saw the Marmaduke movie?
No, I just couldn’t stand looking at the 3D effects.
You weren’t even watching it in 3D!
Well, I guess I shouldn’t have been watching it with 3D glasses on.
“I am the chef and I will be serving you a meal. Try this one, it is called a knuckle sandwich! SHORYUKEN!”
Garfield delivered an iron-breaking uppercut into Ranma’s jaw. He was pushed back into the ropes, unable to make his body move.
“How do you feel now?” Garfield said, punching him again in the stomach. “Are you not in awe of my limitless strength?”
Ranma moved his mouth wordlessly for a moment, then started laughing. “Ha! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!”
Yep, he’s gone insane.
This is riveting.
“I… didn’t feel… a thing!”
Garfield was about to respond, but with his Amaguriken speed, he headbutted Garfield, sending him flying out of the ring.
And he’s out of there!
Jesus.
Rainbow Dash decided to head for Ranma, but Polnareff tugged on her hair and stopped her. He reached down his shirt, pulled out Akuto Bita, and shoved it between her wings. Almost instantly, the leg that was removed with Sticky Fingers began healing itself, returning her to perfect health. “You need this more than I do,” he said. “I’ll take on the guy in the bathrobe.” Rainbow Dash curtly nodded, then set off. Ranma stopped shaking from his conflicting emotions just in time to see the cyan projectile aimed his way, and intercepted her with sheer agility. Every blow she intended to land, Ranma blocked and counterattacked.
“What are you, anyway?” he asked, blocking a volley of punches.
“Don’t worry about it.”