Character Scramble 12 - Round 2: The Scramble Rangers Save Christmas!

[u/KiwiArms]

PLEASE NOTE! When voting goes up for this round, we will have a mod lock the thread, preventing anyone from posting more. Make sure to get all of your writing done on time!

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It’s morphin’ time.

The Character Scramble is a writing prompt tournament where people compete to write the best story they can. At the beginning, everyone submits characters that meet the guidelines, then those characters are randomized and distributed evenly. From then on, each round there's a new writing prompt for everyone to follow. At the end of the round, everyone votes for who they think should advance, until we have our winner at the end. The winner at the end of the tournament gets to choose the theme, tier, and rules of the next scramble, along with a nice custom flair as their reward. The current theme is based on Power Rangers TV series, and the tiers are Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Godzilla.

Without further ado, here we go!

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[🎵RPM, Get in gear!🎵]

It’s Christmas time, and obviously your Rangers are all celebrating (even if they aren’t Christian-- it’s just part of being a modern adult, you know?). It’s started snowing, school is on break for the next two weeks, everything’s going swell for them. Heck, there haven’t even been more monster attacks since Homecoming! All in all, it’s looking to be a fabulous Christmas Eve--

Oh? Your team seems to be getting a distress call from somebody up North, wonder who it could be…

“Help! This is Mrs. Claus,” says the lady on the other end, “Santa’s been Nick-napped! We’ve got our best elves on the case trying to rescue him, but we still need somebody to deliver his last batch of presents! Power Rangers, we need your help!”

Oh, right then.

So, your team has been recruited by holly jolly Mrs. Claus to deliver presents across the Mad Max-style tundra-desert that’s inexplicably right outside your town! Your destination, of course, is the next town over-- Stone Canyon or something. Unfortunately, there’s people out to stop you, trying to hijack the delivery… as such, you’ll have to make it across the snowy desert whilst avoiding a bunch of robotic thugs along the way! Guess they really hate Christmas!

Don’t worry about transportation, though-- if you don’t have a suitable land-based vehicle to use as your ride, Mrs. Claus is more than happy to loan you their new experimental Ranger Sleigh!

You’re being pursued by a gaggle of mechanical mooks led by a particularly powerful piece of robotry. And, of course, there’s that other team of three in a makeshift super-sleigh, with a Zord of their own! Turns out, they think you’re the ones ruining Christmas, and can’t be convinced otherwise! Or, are they under the thrall of the villain? Or, even worse, are they the ones behind Santa’s disappearance?! Up to you!

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Normal Rules

• Nobody told me there would be Power Rangers!: Look at all these obscure characters in the scramble! Give a brief summary of your characters in your post. Be sure to mention things like powers, personality, weaknesses, just stuff that the average reader should know before reading.

• Victory is Fun!: This Scramble is about saving the day, not losing the day! Even if the odds of you winning are 1 in 100, explain those odds in the analysis and then show us that 1 miracle run in the writeup!

• Never Escalate a Battle: You have your Zords now, but you can’t just use them at the beginning of the fight to end it immediately. Gotta be dramatically satisfying!

• No New Powers: Characters are assumed to be at the same power level they started the tournament at at all times. To clarify, this means you would not be able to loot Captain America of his shield if you beat him in a previous round, or otherwise gain a competitive advantage based on anything that happened in a previous round. This is to aid your opponent in research of your character.

• Due Date: Voting begins for Round 2 at 7PM PST/10PM EST on Friday, December 20th. Failing to participate or vote will get ya kicked!

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Round-Specific Rules

• Post Limit: The post limit for this Round is 8 posts, not counting intros/analysis.

  • If you elect to make a game for your round instead, it must be at least 7 hours long (but not exceed 15 hours), be made in Unreal Engine 4, and have an aggregated score of 7.5 on Metacritic.

• Round Goal: 4319.2 Miles of Desert: You need to cross the barren, deserty-tundra thing and deliver presents to the next town over, by any means necessary! And, if you happen to save Santa Claus along the way, that’s not so bad either! There’s only one rule, you have to travel by land. No teleporting, no flying over it where the baddies can’t get you, you gotta Mad Max this thing baby!

• We Need Megazord Power!: You should try to include your Megazord fighting the Opponent’s in some way shape or form-- but how, when and why is pretty much up to you!

• What Would Zordon Do?: Your team, no matter their general proclivities, is motivated to save Christmas! I don’t care if you’re Jewish, Dio!

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Flavor Rules

• Alpha’s Magical Christmas: So did your team have Christmas plans that got rudely interrupted? Or are they a bunch of Scrooges? Either way, they need to save Christmas, so make sure you do so!

• I have my own army of Putties!: Who’s ruining Christmas? Who’s the monster of the week? That’s pretty much up to you! If you have a main villain you wanna have working behind the scenes, you can do that or hold off until later, when the default is revealed in a coming round! It's up to you!

  • The minion this round is the Grinders from Power Rangers RPM. Deadly robots who are are currently operating high-tech post-apocalyptic gearpunk snowmobiles in pursuit of your team. Also, they can turn into (snow equipped) motorcycles. They have daggers that shoot lasers, too!
  • This round’s monster is: Gat Bot, an evil robot who is in fact made of guns-- er, laser blasters, this is a kids show after all. As always, he’s too strong to be beaten by any single member of your team. Every barrel you see on him is fully functional, capable of shooting powerful energy blasts. And if her fires those two on his torso at once, they unleash a devastating explosion. He’s also got other types of ammo, like powerful blasts of water (which, inexplicably, also causes explosions) . Unlike most of the foes you’ve had to face so far, he’s pretty much no nonsense (aside from his looks).

• I Know the Formula!: When your monster is defeated, no matter who you decide for it to be, it will explode-- or turn giant, and then explode once it’s defeated a second time. This doesn't apply to minions. Also optional are colored plumes of smoke exploding from behind your team as they pose when they first show up to fight.

• That is not Spandex!: You can’t properly be a Power Ranger team without a set of color coded suits to hide your identities! So, make them wear the costumes! If you want.

[u/7thSonOfSons]

“Do I have to Foxy?” Gloria asked. “I just want to enjoy my buzz with my bud.” She scratched the dog a bit harder.

Fox didn’t say anything, not that she ever really had to. She gave her that look, the same one she always did, that always got her to spill the beans.

“Urgh. Fine. But just this once. And just for a bit. Then can we please just leave it alone,” she asked, knowing unless Fox gave up the hunt she’d never get away. Luckily, Fox nodded in agreement.

Gloria buried her face into the dog’s neck with a groan and gave it a long stroke down the back as she gathered herself. Scaley. Weird.

“So, yeah, I broke up with Tim, did you know Tim? No? Okay, don’t worry about him then. Went back home, to try an’ like, regroup or something. Find myself? I don’t know,” said Gloria, eventually picking her head back up.

She put on a smile, “I even ran in to Oscar, remember him?”

Fox saw through the thinness, the stiffness of the smile immediately. But pressing too fast would just make Gloria lock up again. “Your childhood friend, yes? Ah, hey Bronx, calm down or its off the couch with you!”

Bronx looked up from where he pushed Gloria over to steal more attention. He whined piteously, but a sharp look made him give up. He glumly rested his head in Gloria’s lap instead.

Gloria wiped off the gross doggy kiss slime. “Thanks.”

She sniffed. “It was fun hangin’ with him. We went drinking a lot… Probably too much. But then he started getting weird.”

“Weird?” Fox asked lightly.

Gloria sniffed again. “Fine. He was controlling. Obsessive. All those things you hear about but never think, never believe would actually happen to you.”

Gloria rubbed her eyes, and ran her fingers around Bronx’ fins again. What an ugly, cute little thing this was. That’s what she focused on.

Eventually she talked again. “I just couldn’t leave. Like, yeah, I didn’t have enough money to head out, yeah, I didn’t have anywhere to go, and yeah it fucking sucked to be trapped like that, but it was almost kinda nice yknow?”

“Gloria…”

Gloria waved a hand at Fox, cutting her off. “I know. I know. It’s just… it felt nice to have someone that ‘cared’ that much.”

Gloria reached under Bronx and began scratching his belly. “I guess you can tell that this is all past tense huh? I’m not gonna have to worry about you going a momma bear right?”

“That depends,” said Fox, her voice cool as ice and all the sharper for it. “For now, your Maidenhead is safe from me.”

Gloria snickered, though she wasn’t sure what the joke was, or if it was a joke. What was she on about again? Oh right.

“Remember Tim? I said he didn’t matter, but surprise,” Gloria said, with weak cheer. “He showed up again, after a couple weeks. He uh, he wanted me to hook up with him again, head back to the city, he’d lined up an opportunity for me.”

“Did he now?”

“Yeaaah. Then he and Oscar got into a big fight,” Gloria said. “Y’know in movies, how it’s always so romantic, when the boys fight over the girl, and she has to pick one? Like ‘oh man, will she stick with her old flame, or her childhood friend, oh man.’ It wasn’t like that.”

Gloria hugged Bronx again. “I can’t even remember who started it, or who threw the first punch. It was just... scary. And I couldn’t do anything. I was a fucking bystander to two assholes who felt they knew what was fucking best for me and decided the way to prove it was beating the shit out of the other guy. And that’s when, that’s the moment I decided I was just, done with it.”

Gloria said it all in a rush, then sat there, the silence hanging over all of them, woman and gargoyle dog.

“Also not like the movies,” Gloria eventually started speaking again, “was the aftermath. You uh, you don’t start a fight and get away clean, not these days. They both got thrown in the slammer for a little while. And while they did that, I robbed Oscar’s bar.”

Fox was so proud of Gloria.

Gloria picked up on that, and smiled at her. “Yeah, learned from the best huh? I took the money I found, checked out of his tiny ass attic, and move into another tinier attic. No strings attached to it this time though.”

Gloria yawned, and wiggled Bronx’s head back and forth as she did with a little groan. Bronx looked back, confused, but enjoying himself.

“Got a job at the local paper for now. I’m just a pencil pusher really, but it pays the bills for now. Gives me plenty of time to work on my writing too. Heh, whenever people ask I just say I’m practicing my skills and I get away clean.”

Gloria sniffed again. “It’s kinda weird still being in Maidenhead with a guy I robbed, but I think he learned his lesson. I haven’t run into him since.”

Fox nodded. She often met with people she’d taken advantage. It truly could be a disconcerting experience. Usually for them. “What will you do if he does show up?”

Gloria considered it. “Probably just leave, I think. I don’t need to, to like explain myself to him, and get his understanding. I know what the deal was.”

Gloria pet Bronx some more, but weaker. Damn, Fox had a nice couch. This was probably better than her actual bed.

She settled in to it a little further, her head laying back against the pillow. It was pretty nice, Gloria had to admit it. Not just the couch (though it was the best part), but getting all that crap off her chest, and seeing her best friend too.

Maybe she could set something up with Fox in the morning, and make sure they stayed in touch. That’d be nice…

[u/7thSonOfSons → u/7thSonOfSons]

What was it about these timelines that always left Angra Mainyu with the shittiest opponents? Gwen was one thing. She was annoying, but she was weak, slow, unfit for a real fight. What made her obnoxious was how unpredictable she was.

But Obi-Wan was the opposite. This guy was no stranger to a brawl. When Jonathan called him Master he wasn’t just being polite. But that shouldn’t matter. Angra Mainyu had no problems with people as skilled is this old man. What made him a pain in the ass was how he could predict Angra Mainyu.

It wasn’t like Yosuke. He wasn’t being outsped like some damn goon, by some goon. Obi-wan seemingly just knew exactly how to defend.

Every damn time he moved a muscle, Obi-Wan was ready with a rebute. It didn’t matter the difference in their speed. Obi-Wan could act before every move. He had to stay on the defensive, Angra Mainyu’s relentless pace made it so, which only lead to a more aggravatingly slow paced clash.

By the twelfth time Angra Mainyu’s claws had been destroyed by a swipe of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber, Angra Mainyu was well and truly out of patience. “Doesn’t that goddamn thing ever run out of batteries?” he barked as a fresh pair of talons manifest in his hands.

“And don’t you ever run dry on blades?” Obi-Wan replied.

“You fuckin’ wish.”

Once more their weapons clashed. And once more Angra Mainyu found himself disarmed. But this time came with a follow-up. Obi-Wan held his arm and thrust his palm out towards Angra Mainyu. He felt a sudden and intense blast of pressure in his chest and found himself flung down the hill into the snow. He shook himself off and pushed himself back to his feet.

“Forgot that old bastard could do that,” he grumbled.

“It’s over Angra Mainyu!” Obi-Wan shouted at him. “I hold the high ground!”

“Big fuckin’ deal!” Angra Mainyu replied with more weapons. And more. And more. With a wave of his arms, ten identical claw swords whirred through the air towards Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan flourished his blade and reduced every one of Angra Mainyu’s weapons to splinters. The fangs of a demonic god, fit to cut the throat of the world, broken with a single touch of Obi-Wan’s lightsaber.

Angra Mainyu cursed himself, and drew on that curse to create a new set. He so badly wished he really were a demon. The kind of monster that could tear the old man to shreds. But he wasn’t, not really. So he was content to keep throwing himself at the problem till it fucked off.

He glared at Obi-wan, searching for an opening, for anything to break the deadlock.

Suddenly there was a scream. Jonathan’s? Foo’s? Angra Mainyu didn’t care. For an instant, Obi-wan’s eyes left him, straying towards his apprentice’s battle.

Howling for blood, Angra Mainyu struck.

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Foo had heard it in the movies. She’d read it in the books. It was a piece of wisdom that everyone agreed on: Never bring a knife to a gunfight. And what was a fist, but a dumb, stupid, blunt knife? By that logic, she should have been easily winning this fight.

Foo raised her fist, fired two more quick shots, and decided to never read another book. They were clearly untrustworthy.

Jonathan Joestar contorted his body and let the plank-lets shoot past him into the snow. His massive bulky frame belied the speed he was capable of.

Foo grunted in consternation and shuffled through the knee deep snow to keep her distance. It slowed Jonathan down more than her, but it was still annoying. Although it wasn’t as annoying as,

“For every time you fire that gun of yours, Foo Fighters… An angel loses its wings!” Dio proclaimed. He walked across the surface of the snow, not leaving a single mark in his wake. “That is the true spirit of Christmas! A blanket of peace on the world, like freshly fallen snow.”

Foo would never shoot Santa. But having naughty thoughts wasn’t against the rules. But her distraction cost her.

“Dio is correct,” said Jonathan. He charged towards Foo, each of his thick legs churning through the snow like a relentless steam engine. “And though it is temporary, it allows us to learn about this peace and share it with each other! It’ll will eventually spread all throughout the year!”

Infused with hamon, filled with his righteous understanding of Christmas, and carrying the hope of a better future, Jonathan put a period on his thoughts by slamming a fist into Foo’s chest with all his power.

Foo, tiny compared to Jonathan, went flying. She tumbled down the hill and landed in a heap at its base. Jonathan looked down at his hands.

Hamon. Ripple. He didn’t know much about this strange ability or whether it was right to use against a living person, even to protect another. All that had been explained to him was that it harnessed power of life itself.

The power of the Sun.

“It doesn’t feel right,” he muttered lowly. “To bring harm to a woman.”

“Don’t feel too bad, it didn’t really hurt,” Foo replied from behind him.

Jonathan screamed. A dignified, masculine scream of terror. The kind of sound no gentleman should make. There really was no other way to react. There was a Foo Fighters at the foot of the hill, surely. But there was another right behind him. And still more, all around him. Two dozen identical Foo Fighters, at least, rising out of the snow.

“I’ll be blowed!” Jonathan staggered backwards. “I’ve not seen a trick of this caliber in all my days! Pure black magic, that must be it!”

In truth, it was a lot more science than magic. As good as Foo looked (and she’d been told she looks very good), she was a creature of nature. A mere plant. A lot of plants, actually. Well technically Plankton were equal parts plant and animal, but she identified as a plant. She was very plant-y.

And as fun as it was to eat, she could thrive entirely on water and sunlight. So with enough sudden, unexpected intake of both of those things, she… grew. And she grew fast. And something about that punch just put that regeneration into overdrive.

But she wasn’t gonna say that. That sounded lame.

Foo Fighters, the original, stood up and laughed. “No ho ho, Jonathan JoJo. This is no trick of the devil, this is- this is what a Christmas Miracle looks like!”

Jonathan was stunned. A bona fide miracle. Before his very eyes! But that was impossible, wasn’t it? Jonathan clenched his fist. “That simply cannot be the case. You, who understands naught the spirit of Christmas.”

Dio strode between a pair of Foos. “You claim that the spirit of Christmas has blessed you on this eve? You bring an army unto this silent night, and claim to understand the spirit of the season? Like a mere penguin who claims to fly because it throws itself from the cliffside.”

“You think this is an army?” Foo chuckled. Every Foo crossed their arms. “This isn’t an army, this is proof of the real meaning of Christmas. This is my Proof of Friendship!”

“Friendship?” Dio laughed. “Fool girl, you cannot truly believe that this day is one of friendship! Christmas is a time for reflection, for greed, for peace. It is a holy day to step away from it all. To take a selfish moment alone from the miserable world around us!”

The Foos began to approach Jonathan. “You’re wrong, both of you. The world isn’t miserable, it’s a good place, full of good people. And Christmas is the day to celebrate the whole world and everyone in it! Especially your friends!”

Jonathan raised his fists and took a deep breath. He felt a burning in his soul, both at the hamon coursing through his body and at Foo’s misguided belief. “Miss Fighters, I implore you. Cease this… this silliness. Your country is but a mere child in the face of English celebration of this day. Please, let your elders guide and advise you away from this dangerous thinking.”

The Foos shook their heads. “No! We will not go quietly into the holy night! We will do as our people have done since the founding of America: Relentlessly push our way of thinking onto you as the truth!”

For Jonathan, that was the final straw. He would have to break Foo from her Christmas dream. Even if it meant resorting to peaceful violence. His body overflowed with Hamon and Christmas Cheer. Brilliant light began to emanate from Jonathan’s body. The very snow around him was melting.

Jonathan pulled his hand back and over his head. There was only one way to settle this cleanly and efficiently. “Snow White Overdrive!”

He jammed his fist into the snow and a ripple pulsed outward from his body. The Foos stood their ground. For a second, it was as if nothing happened. Then it happened.

The snow exploded outward. Something between an avalanche and a tsunami fired off in every direction. The crest of the wave peaked above even Jonathan’s head. If that woman was going to resort to blasphemous trickery, he would overcome with the ingenuity and grace he’d garnered from his master.

So much snow was displaced, it left a crater around Jonathan. The land around him looked so different. Fresh mounds and hills buried everything in snow. Everything, that is, except Dio. Not a flake of snow marred his Santa suit.

Dio looked about. “Ho? It seems as though that troublesome woman could not withstand the cold reality of Christmas.”

Jonathan nodded. Regretfully, he had to do it. “If only she had seen the light sooner.”

Both their eyes were drawn to a peculiar shaking. A shivering, even, from a certain mound of snow. An arm burst free from the snow, and Foo Fighters dragged herself out. "I'll never give up!"

Jonathan moved towards her, but Dio put his arm out first. “Allow me.”

He hauled Foo to her feet. “Foo Fighters… you are no mere human, are you? You are something else." Dio could feel it. The natural flow of energy from this woman was like neither himself nor Jonathan. It was not a single stream of life force, but thousands, millions of tiny life forces working together…

Ah, so that was it.

Dio laughed, loudly. “Yes, Yes! I see now! Truly, Foo Fighters, you stand by your conviction to Christmas! Now, show me the power of this… ‘friendship’.”

[u/7thSonOfSons → u/7thSonOfSons]

Another scarlet bolt, and another screaming wreck tumbled from the sky. Shoddy work compared to Xanatos’ robots, especially when under his direct command. This must have been what it was like to see the Gargoyles do battle, all those years ago. Warriors and the brilliant commander that led them. It was almost enough to put a smile on Xanatos face.

The feeling disappeared when that colossal beast waved a hand through the air, smashing several million dollars of his own robots into pieces. Of course. No battle was won with sacrifice.

What on earth was that thing anyway? Xanatos considered himself the most well informed man on earth, and yet he still had no idea about it, its capabilities, or even its intentions. He wasn’t even positive where it came from.

It was less responsive than a wild animal. He’d tracked its eyes, and found that it looked at nothing. He’d seen several lasers zip into its side, and it didn’t twitch a muscle. Even when it attacked Meerr, there was no damage done- shaking Meerr’s head had only opened his gills.

There was a lot of blood from that but… well, Meerr seemed fine with it. It was hard to tell with that face.

The monster vanished.

Xanatos froze, his entire force of gargoyles stuttering in space, his commands halting as his mind scrambled for answers. A dozen scanners flashed to life and disappeared inside his visor, each showing the same thing: Nothing. No heat, no radiation, no seismic activity, no sign of exotic particles. There was nothing.

Snow swirled where the monster once was and Meerr plopped his head onto the ground. That proved that his seismic sensors were working, at least. Which made it alarming when he began to detect exotic particles, coming from far behind him.

Xanatos turned back towards his rangers, the source of these sudden emissions obvious.

Angra Mainyu, one arm dangling, and one raised high, with a brutal smirk on his face.

In his hand he clutched the homecoming crown.

---

Angra Mainyu was a predator, the ultimate weapon against humankind. The moment even the tiniest crack in Obi-wan’s armor opened, he was there, ready to pry it open and tear out his heart.

Looking away from the fight? Practically an invitation for his knives.

Angra Mainyu’s cry for blood and victory moved with him as he swept up the windy hill. His cry turned into a shriek of outrage and shock when Obi-wan turned to him, and flicked his fingers.

Snow, previously packed tight underneath every step, softened. Angra Mainyu’s feet, finding no purchase, slipped out from under him. Obi-Wan had the upper hand for the first time since their clash began. With another flick of the wrist, a mound of snow brushed over Angra Mainyu’s face, obscuring his sight.

Obi-Wan could see it. In the next moment, Angra Mainyu planned to roll to the left, jump to his feet, and pounce. He was fast, but not that fast. Brandishing his lightsaber, he made a swipe right for where his stomach would be. He didn’t need to kill Angra Mainyu, just incapacitate him. Xanatos was the true target.

But his aim was off. A great tremor caused his blade to falter, instead slashing a mere few inches into Angra Mainyu’s arm. He howled in pain, but the opening was enough for him to smash his fist into Obi-Wan’s throat.

One arm hung uselessly at his side. Whatever Obi-Wan had cut was pretty important, Angra Mainyu reasoned. But not as important as what was in his other hand.

“You stupid no name son of a bitch,” Angra Mainyu cackled. He raised his arm over head as Obi-Wan staggered backwards, clutching his neck. “You know what this is? You know what the fuck this is? It’s a key, a one way ticket to kicking your ass!”

Angra Mainyu clutched the seastone crown so tightly his palm bled. “Alright you slimy bastard, take care of this fuck!”

“SKREEEEEONK!!”

Meeerr thrashed wildly like a beast possessed. His head and tail smashed the robots surrounding it to bits. His massive, cold eyes were seemingly honed in on the hill where Angra Mainyu and Obi-Wan fought.

Xanatos cursed his own ingenuity. He’d been working on that crown for a month, tinkering with the technology that allowed the forces of evil to control Paul Bunyan at the mall. He had hoped to find some means of recreating it in such a way as to control whatever weapon it was that the crown was tied to. But he’d never imagined it could be used to control Meeerr.

He was even better than he thought.

But there wasn’t much time to pat himself on the back just yet. Meeerr’s temperature was fluctuating wildly. If he stayed in the arctic much longer, there would be permanent damages at the very least. And scrapping with Santa and Obi-Wan was certainly not going to help things.

Xanatos ordered all his remaining forces to slow down Meeerr. They could clean up the stragglers of the opposition later. Securing his investment was his first priority.

Meeerr roared his monstrous roar before lumbering towards Angra Mainyu. He wasn’t particularly fast, but the sheer weight of each step shook the earth. The unnatural, horrid way his head swayed was almost disgusting to watch. But even that simple act was grand in its own obscene power. Those remaining of Xanatos rescue force were reduced to scrap just by Meeeeerr’s clumsy trampling.

But he was slowed. Trudging through the snow, being blocked off by a handful of Xanatos’ robots, it wasn’t nothing. But that wasn’t what was doing the bulk of the work. Rising out of the snow were several dozen identical forms. Identical Foo Fighters.

They were insignificantly small next to Meeerr. But in such great numbers, the way they latched onto his legs, it was making a difference.

Angra Mainyu snorted as the sea of Foo Fighters were trampled under Meeerr’s feet, only to rise again. “She just doesn’t know when to quit.”

“No,” replied a Foo rising out of the snow at his side. “I don’t.” She snatched the crown from Angra Mainyu’s hand. “But I do need this, thank you!”

Obi-Wan had used the force to fix his crushed larynx, but now his students were at his side. “Now now, Master. There is no need to fight.” Dio spoke calmly. “After all, Christmas is a time for connections. For friendship and camaraderie.”

“Or so she claims,” Jonathan said solemnly. “But we will see the truth of Christmas, here and now. Foo Fighters!”

Foo rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” She put the crown on her head. Her crown.

“What are you doing, seaweed brain? You’re gonna let that thing into your head.”

Foo stared at Meeerr as he came closer and closer. “I’ll live with it.” She raised her arm, her palm flat out. “Stop.”

And Meeerr was stopped.

“Sit.”

He slammed his tail into the snow, and dropped to… what could be construed as sitting.

“Roll over.”

That he could definitely do. The way blood flew from his gills and into the snow was hard to watch, but Meeerr himself seemed to be enjoying it.

Foo smiled. “Good, good, good. Now, buddy, I need you to go back home. Not- Not my apartment! I mean New York! Go as fast as you can!”

Dutifully, Meeerr rose to its full, majestic height, and stomped away. Back towards where they’d left the Queen of the Adriatic.

There was a stunned silence. Xanatos landed on the hill and removed his helmet. Sure enough, his cameras weren’t malfunctioning. No one was quite sure what to make of what they’d just witnessed. No one but Santa.

Dio broke into a fit of laughter. “Well, well, Foo Fighters. So this is the magic of the Christmas season, is it? That on this day, even man and monster can set aside their differences and act in unison? In ‘friendship’?”

No, actually. It had nothing to do with Friendship. Xanatos was well aware of the connections Foo and Meeerr had, both emotionally and physiologically. But that was no friendship. That was mind control, or at least influence, on the creature to obey her words.

But it was better for everyone if he kept that to himself. Plus, Foo looked so happy.

“That’s right!” She shouted. “Meeerr and I are friends, and on Christmas, Friendship is stronger than anything! Even stronger than language! Even stronger than- than intellect! It’s about the bonds you make, not the bonds you get to ignore. The bond between friends.”

“The bond between boss and employee.” Xanatos nodded towards Angra Mainyu. He got a middle finger in reply.

“Or the bond between master and student,” Obi-Wan added rubbing his throat.

Jonathan put an arm around Dio’s shoulder. “Or the bond between brothers.”

Dio stepped forward and spread his arms out towards all the destruction. Towards the bits of steel and pools of blood that dotted the landscape. “Look upon it! Does this look to be the result of a day or peace and quiet? No! This could only be the result of passionate violence, the kind that comes between friends, and to protect friends.

“Foo Fighters!” He turned to face her. “On this night, you have proven to this Santa Claus a new meaning of Christmas! And for that, you shall be rewarded! All of you shall be!

“Now, watch closely. See how it is that I bring… [Joy To The World]!”

[u/7thSonOfSons → u/7thSonOfSons]

"Time is stopped, until all the stockings are stuffed."

[u/7thSonOfSons → u/7thSonOfSons]

“And that,” Xanatos said before shutting the book in his lap, “is how I saved Christmas.”

Paul looked up at him with wonder in her eyes, while Angra Mainyu just rolled his. “Yeah, ‘you’ saved Christmas. Definitely wasn’t Foo pulling your ass out of the fire.”

“Who cares, who cares?” Foo chirped before pouring a full bottle of perrier down her throat. “All that matters is that we SAVED CHRISTMAS! And as a sweet bonus, got you all on the nice list.”

Paul grinned happily, remembering her own present: a bring pink chainsaw. But she was still a curious child. She had to know. “What about all those strangers, monsieur Xanatos? Obi-Wan and Jonathan, what happened to them?”

“Sent back to England, and back to their Queen. A first class ticket on Christmas Eve.”

“That no good Queen!” Paul pouted. “She sent those guys to lure you into a trap I bet.”

Xanatos chuckled. “Oh no, surely not. The Queen and I, we’re quite familiar with one another. We’re… in the same club, you could say. Being direct, it’s not really her way. Nor is it mine. I bet she wanted us to find Dio, and to give him a new meaning of Christmas in his heart.”

Foo nodded. “Definitely. Dio’s not a bad guy he just… I dunno, he doesn’t get it. He got a job that wasn’t really made for him.”

“Till you put him on the right track,” Angra Mainyu said. “Not bad work out there.”

“Oh! Oh! And what happened to Dio Clause? He didn’t go home too, did he?”

Angra Mainyu shrugged. “No idea. After that ‘Joy to the World’ shit, there was no trace of him. His workshop, all the robots… Guy just up and vanished.”

The Japanese Government (Representative) looked up from Xanatos’ computer. “I don’t know what really happened out there, but you have my thanks for retrieving our specimen. It seems as though you all can be trusted with its well being after all. To an extent.”

“Thanks, you were a big help,” Angra Mainyu replied, raising a glass in cheer.

Xanatos phone went off. “Hello again, dear.” He raised one finger towards the guests amassed in the room. “... Of course, yes, a surprise for the whole family… For Gl- Yes, I even managed a few for your college friend as well.” He stood up from his seat and walked deeper into the cave. “Of course I’ll be there when they wake up, I wouldn’t miss it for anything…”

With Xanatos out of sight, Angra Mainyu hopped to his feet. “Alright, Foo, Paul, let’s talk.”

Paul smiled warmly. “Okay!”

“You wanna talk?” Foo raised an eyebrow and took another drink. “What about? Is this a love confession?”

“No. And ew.” Angra Mainyu crouched down between the two of them. “Let’s talk about Xanatos.”

“Monsieur Xanatos! He is a good man.”

Angra Mainyu shook his head. “Sure, yeah, right. Let’s go with that, cuz I don’t wanna argue with a kid. But!” Angra Mainyu shifted his eyes for side to side. “He’s not gonna stay that way.”

Foo crossed her arms and sat on the floor. “What do you mean by that?”

“C’mon, Green, don’t tell me you’re not thinkin’ it too. Why else would he rope us into this Ranger business if it wasn’t some selfish fu- freakin' scheme.”

Paul looked confused. “He wanted you to trust each other, non?”

“No, no that’s a cover. He wanted us to trust him. So he could use us.”

Foo laughed softly. “You’re paranoid. Just because that’s something you would do, don’t pin that on Xanatos.”

Angra Mainyu pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y’know what let’s just… I’m tired of running through this conversation over and over, let’s just skip to the part where I reveal how I know this.” Angra Mainyu reached under the seat of the couch and pulled a thick black notebook. “Cause Xanatos told me.”

He slapped it down on the floor in front of them. “The Xanatos from the past timelines. Buckle up, kids, it's gonna be a long story”

Fin

Karma Severed