Scramble 16 Round 3: Twister

[u/OddDirective]

EDIT: Round 3 has concluded! While there are no competitive rounds (and thus, no strict need for a voting form), we have put together a form to vote on your favorite round/who you think will win. Please check it out HERE!

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Round 3: Twister

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Hub Post

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Bracket

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DAY 5

The mission for today seems oddly easy for your Players. “Enter Tower Records. You have 8 hours. Fail, and face erasure.” They don’t wake up too far from the entrance, and the time limit is very generous. But hey, they’ve been fighting for their lives for a fair bit, so they’re glad to have something of a cakewalk to get to the next day.

That’s not what this is.

The Game Master has decided that the gloves are coming off now. They’ve set a simple task to their Reapers; eliminate every Player you can get your hands on. Not only that, but they’ve set up an ambush right in front of the one way to get to Tower Records, featuring some hand-picked assassins- the enemy team. For whatever reason, your Reaper can’t or doesn’t let your Players know- if they’re the Game Master (or even if not), they might have decided that your team has reached the end of their usefulness, or they could be trying to dodge the Game Master’s suspicion to avoid erasure themselves.

Whatever the case, as your team walks into the trap, they come across a lone Player, one who’s lost the rest of their team. Whether it’s because they’re still fighting, or because Players without a team can’t have gotten this far, your Players are tipped off- just in time for the enemy team to come in. To save their life, your Players form a pact with the solo Player, and prepare to face off in a battle for everyone’s second chance…

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Scramble Rules

Let ‘Em Know Who You Are: Every participant this season received four characters on their team, but many of them might not be a household name. To aid with readability, please give a brief introduction and summary of your characters, with enough information so the average reader can get excited for your team before starting. That includes your adopted character this time, too!

This World Ends With You: Your writeup will depict a scenario where your team succeeds. Even if your team has a one in a million chance of overcoming the odds, show what they’d need to do to come out on top against the challenge in front of them!

Everybody Has Their Own World: Writers are allowed to make changes to their characters in their narrative to fit their story, such as allowing power stealers to gain more powers, teaching martial artists new techniques, or having characters gradually grow in strength between rounds. However, you are not beholden to following what your opponent is doing. When facing another team, you are only required to write their characters as they were submitted. This is to help with ease of research, and make things more fun for both sides.

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Round Rules

Setting: This round’s original setting is Tower Records, an iconic music store that outlived its American main branch, located in the heart of Shibuya with shelves stocked with all the latest music, in CD or vinyl. The important parts of wherever the location is is that it’s recognizable by the members of the team, and it can be set up for an ambush. There’s also more than enough time for your team to mess around and do whatever their heart desires before going into the ambush, so you can include other locations as well.

Key Points: The main idea of the round is the following. The Game Master wants to eliminate a whole load of Players, and so sets up a seemingly-easy mission to keep the Players off guard. This gives your Players time to do things other than the mission, but when they do pursue the mission, they meet a lone Player, with whom they extend their pact to stay as a team. During this, they are ambushed, and have to fight against the enemy team for their lives.

Union X: Adoptions! That’s right, it’s the adoption round. We’ve decided to be pretty open about this; there are two possibilities for who you can adopt. The first is that any Player on a team that has already been eliminated is available to adopt. We have also curated a list of unpicked backups that you can choose from. All available adoptions are HERE, and be sure to look through to find someone you’ll enjoy writing.

Post Limit: For this round, writers will be limited to 8 posts, or 80k characters. While it is fine to go a little bit over, anything that far surpasses this limit will be automatically disqualified. This limit does not include intro posts, or analysis of the matchup.

Due Date: Writeups will be due at 11:59 PM CST on EDIT: Sunday, November 27th. That’s about two and a half weeks. At that point, the thread will be locked, and voting will go up for a few days afterwards.

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Flavor Suggestions

Incongruous: Your team members might be suspicious of such an easy mission. After all, the people in charge of this don’t really want you to win, do they? Would they see this as a chance to take a break, and do things casually? Alternatively, would they rush headlong into the ambush the Game Master set up?

Dancer In The Street: Whoever you’re adopting, your team is going to be meeting them in a difficult situation, either in combat or just having come from it. But you can’t just sideline them, you’ve gotta make sure they shine! What do they bring to the table in terms of synergies? How do they fight when they’re backed into a corner? And importantly, how would your team react to finding someone on their own?

[u/Proletlariet]

“That all check out?” Hob asked.

21 nodded. “Yeah. It’s weird though. All the cuts are on her front, even though she’s laying on her back.”

“Maybe she did a flip?” Archer offered.

“Maybe, but there’s not really enough of a fall from the window for that to happen on its own.” 21 said. “She’d have to have done one on purpose, and nobody would want to land on their backs.”

“I don’t know about that.” 21 said hesitantly. “But then again, a lot just doesn’t add up. Look at her right hand.”

Hob did. He winced. “Ouch.”

“Right?” 21 agreed.

A sliver of glass was lodged deep into her thumb.

“The solution is too simple even for the likes of you.” Gilgamesh said. “The glass was broken before she fell.”

“That doesn’t happen unless you’re putting pressure on it.” Hob said.

“Exactly what I was thinking.” 21 agreed. “So maybe Gilgamesh is right.”

“Of course I am.” Gilgamesh scoffed. “Were your unworthy labour not necessary to this task, I would claim your heads for doubting a king.”

Hob examined her other hand. “Huh.”

He pried open her grip and removed the item. He handed it to 21. “You know what this is?”

“That’s the Van Halen logo.” 21 said.

Archer chuckled. “Hey, I guess she figured ‘I Might As Well Jump.’” He was met with blank faces. “What? Hey! That was a good one!”

Hob rolled his eyes. “I don’t care whose stupid band it’s from, I mean where do you think it she got it?”

“One, Van Halen rocks.” Archer said. “Two, probably from the big box of ‘em in the office she fell out of. I knocked it over earlier when I was uh. Doing stuff.”

World’s greatest secret agent, huh?

Archer’s testimony was suspicious, but probably not for the case itself. If he’d given it away so freely he probably didn’t consider it relevant to the murder.

Hob changed gears. “Whatcha got there?” He asked, indicating the two loads Archer was carrying.

Archer hefted the carton. “Figured I’d grab the classics for the road.” He opened it and showed it to Hob. A bunch of old albums, including some of the ones Archer had been playing when they’d first arrived.

“You’ve got some screwed up priorities. But alright.” Hob said. “And the gun?”

“Stashed that in the jungle just in case.” He set down his records and hefted the gun in both hands. It was a heavy duty sniper rifle. Glossy black gunmetal and a smooth wood stock.

Hob whistled. Everything was high end from the scope to the screws.

“Ray’d kill for a chance to fire this baby.” He marvelled. The Mutanimals’ resident sharpshooter was a crack shot with every form of alien energy weapon they’d looted, but Man Ray had always had a soft spot for heavy percussion.

“It’s sexy as hell right? And check this out.” Archer enthused. “Y’see that palm?” He braced the tripod against the ground, lined up the trunk in his sights, and fired. The bullet struck the tree and burst. An entire circular chunk of the wood was virtually deleted in a brief flash of powder.

The severed tree seemed to suddenly realise it wasn’t standing on anything and toppled, spilling Edward out of its leaves.

He fell out of the tumble standing and shook a fist at Archer. “Give a man some warning! 21, take away that cannon before he puts a hole in me as well.”

Dimitri hurried out of the treeline as well. “What was that explosion?” He demanded.

“A crude and noisy weapon to mimick the natural power of a king.” Gilgamesh answered.

Somehow without even reaching for it the gun had appeared in his hands.

Archer fumbled with the air for a second, confused. “What? How? I hate stage magic.”

“I have said it thrice now. Pay attention.” Gilgamesh scolded. “All treasures find their way into my hoard. Even such inelegant things.”

“Really? Wow!” An all too familiar bouncy voice piped up. “All guilty lil suspects find their way into my court.”

Monokuma had appeared behind them when they weren’t looking as he always did. This time he wore a khaki safari outfit complete with pith bucket helm.

“Sorry I’m late folks! I had a real heckuva time getting through that jungle. I think once we’re done here, I’ll clearcut it and build a statue of me kicking a pile of dead elephants. That’ll show ‘em who’s boss.”

“Stuff it.” Hob told him. “Are you here to whisk us off or not?”

“You got it!” Monokuma said cheerfully.

And with that the world once more went white.

---

The second she felt the shift start Dorothy hyper focused in on her positional data. She found that by concentrating, she could extend the fraction of a second the transition took into a relative minute from her perspective.

When Monokuma moved them to his courtroom, there had to be some trick to it. If she could just just figure out how he got around, maybe they stood a chance at escape.

She sensed movement alright. This wasn’t strictly teleportation. But they weren’t moving in any direction she could put a name to in three dimensions. It was almost like rising upwards but.. lateral.

She wasn’t given time to dwell on it.

The white marble of the courtroom rendered before her. Once again, her circuit-speed processing let her adjust to the sudden change faster than the others.

They stood around nine podiums in a ring.

Dorothy. Archer. 21. Edward. Kirei. Gilgamesh. Laszlo. Dimitri. And Hob on her left to complete the loop.

“Well now! Exactly one day and you’re all back in here with me.” Monokuma chortled. “Hey Karai---”

“Don’t call me that.” Dorothy said.

“---Hey Karorothy. Betcha feel pretty stupid for taking that bet now, huh? Seeing as the only one who could’ve killed without you losing is the victim here. I guess I can just take Eddy boy’s brain and we’ll call it quits.”

Dorothy squeezed her hand into a fist and pictured driving it through Monokuma’s chest. He wanted a reaction. If that was her final avenue of resistance, then she wouldn’t give it to him.

“Puahahaha! I’m just yankin’ yer chain.” He grinned. “I’m still gonna let this thing play out. Heck, I won’t even penalise you for leaving the game area. Boy that Komachi really tried to cheat me, huh? And you guys too! You almost didn’t get to play my killing game! Whoever the blackened is, I’ll have to thank them for getting rid of her.”

Dimitri---the one-eyed spearman---pounded an armoured fist down on his podium.

“Stop acting as though you don’t know exactly who it is. This is a farce. Punish the one who robbed me of my chance to kill Edelgarde or I’ll do it myself.” He brandished his spear.

Gilgamesh laughed. “Hoh, the mongrel king Dimitri is out for blood. Is it truly wise to declare your desire to kill in the middle of a murder case?”

“My words mean less than your actions.” Dimitri growled. “Anybody who would attack their own ally can speak nothing but poison.”

“If you do not wish to be trod upon like gravel, don’t stand before a king’s path.” Gilgamesh smirked.

“Is this really who you are?” Dorothy said. The two squabbling men looked up at her. “Honestly, you’re faced with a problem and instead of solving it you start goading each other?”

“The lady’s right.” Said Laszlo. “Not least because I feel very uncomfortable standing between this. Would anyone like to trade podiums?”

Monokuma banged his gavel. “No trading allowed!”

“Oh damn.” The Laszlo said pitifully.

“We have to start somewhere or we’ll end up going nowhere.” Dorothy said. “We should open with what everyone was doing.”

“Well? Get going.” Archer tapped his watch. “It’s already been---” He glanced at its face. “Wait a sec, this thing is broken. Hey bear did you mess with my watch?!” He shook the cracked face at Monokuma emphatically.

Monokuma cocked his head. “Huh? Me?”

“Yes you! This thing cost more than your bounty buddy, so I’ll have to get creative to make up the difference after I turn you in.”

“Ulp! I don’t wanna be a bearskin rug!” Monokuma shuddered. “But really, I moved you here as gentle as a mama picking up her cubs. It must’ve happened before the trial.”

“Alright, get back on track!” Hob snapped. “I swear, why the hell do people say it’s like herding cats when it’s always humans getting caught up on bullshit? I’ll start off our little timeline.” He took a moment with his eye squeezed shut and then continued. “Alright. Me, Dorothy, Edward, and 21 all got here earlier in the day. Archer was already in the building drinking himself to death to the worst music I’ve ever heard in my life. Then Komachi surprised us coming down the stairs---”

“Meaning she was already in the building before any of us.” 21 surmised.

Archer shook his head. “No way. I had sensors set up everywhere. Plus I scoped the place out when I was putting them up. If she was there, I would’ve known. She must’ve poofed in with magic.”

“Right now, not important.” Hob said gruffly. “21 and I hung out downstairs. Edward and Dorothy snuck off somewhere. I’m guessin’ to eavesdrop on Archer and Komachi.”

“Correct.” Dorothy nodded.

“Won’t deny it.” Edward agreed.

“Hey! Not cool!” Archer complained.

“You’re a secret agent and you didn’t expect that?” 21 scoffed.

“I was trying to negotiate getting you guys out of here.” He said. “Don’t you think I deserve a little benefit of the doubt?”

Dorothy would’ve loved to wipe that smug self-righteous look off his face by revealing what she and Edward had heard. But that would mean revealing what she’d learned about herself too.

She traded a brief exchange in looks with Edward, who seemed to be having much the same thoughts.

“Could she really have allowed us to escape?” Edward asked.

“Yup!” Monokuma nodded emphatically. “That little sneak was involved with the planning stages so she knew this place inside and out. She was probably the only other person in Despair City who could’ve set you free.”

“Damn it all.” Edward swore. “So it’s an even greater loss.”

21 looked to Edward sympathetically. “Hey. It’s not over yet, right?”

He let out a long breath. “I don’t know.”

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

“It isn’t if we don’t give up now.” Dorothy urged.

“Right.” Hob continued. “Komachi announced her little Scrooge gambit thing. Not really sure what she was thinkin’ there. That’s where you chuckleheads come in.” Hob indicated the four Komachi had sent after them.

“The order that showed up as far as Dimitri, Archer, and I were able to piece together was the vampire Laszlo, who was confronted by Hob, 21, and Archer. Then Dimitri, fought by myself and Kar-- Excuse me. Dorothy. 21 came down to assist in the final moments after Dorothy vanished. Then Gilgamesh.” Edward said. “Although I admit to being unconscious for his appearance.”

“Hmmph.” Gilgamesh folded his arms. “None of you were able to stand against even a fraction of my radiance. I count it as a favour to Kirei I even bothered to deal with you at all.”

“Hang on,” 21 cut in. “So where does Kirei come into things?”

“If you will allow me.” Kirei bowed his head. “I suppose I have only told Dorothy this, but I am not one of Komachi’s experiments. I am a member of Ultimate Despair. The Ultimate Priest.”

Edward and 21’s faces twisted into looks of disgust. Hob scowled, but it held little anger in it.

“You seem to be a reasonable man. At least moreso than others of that group we’ve met.” Edward said. “Why would a man of the cloth be drawn to a group that preaches nothing but misery?”

The priest looked up at Monokuma, seeming to be waiting for some sort of sign. If the bear’s split expression gave one away, then Dorothy couldn’t see it.

“I won’t ask you to understand.” Kirei said. “Suffice to say; I was born wrong. Positive emotions don’t give me any pleasure. So I looked for it in what I was able to feel; despair.”

“What the hell kind of reason is that to blow up a city?” 21 demanded.

“I know it’s not a very complex motivation. But it’s mine.” Kirei said simply. “I wish to feel things that will help me understand myself a little better.”

“If a city cannot stand against the crusade of an ambitious few, then that city is worth less.” Gilgamesh concurred. “That is something Kirei Kotomine understands.”

As totally removed from any logic as their convictions were, Dorothy found that she could empathise with Kirei at least. Even after Komachi’s explanation, she still felt out of sync with her own thoughts and feelings. She could easily envision what sort of lengths that feeling might drive her to if she let it get to her.

Gilgamesh, too, she could understand. He was arrogant, but absolute arrogance was a rare and comforting certainty in a world without answers. That was what Karai’s memories centred on when Dorothy thought of the Shredder---the real one.

“Would you quit it with the might makes right fortune cookie crap?” 21 grumbled. “Geez, first Shredder now you. I used to think those kinds of supervillain speeches were cool.”

“Getting back to the topic,” Kirei said, “Komachi wanted to try working with an exceptionally powerful ancestor but she knew she couldn’t hope to possibly control Gilgamesh. So used me as a kind of anchor. We’re pairbonded. Each one of us are constantly aware of where the other is. If I die, he dies. He can’t disobey a direct command from me---though I know better than to try giving one.”

“So in other words, what’cher saying is you’ve got a damn strong motive to off Komachi.” Hob concluded.

“Do not confuse this link to be a binding leash.” Gilgamesh countered. “It is only in place because I consented to it. Kirei Kotomine is a sufferable companion. I find his insights entertaining.”

“Okay. So now that we understand your relationship, let’s try to piece together all these moving parts.” Dorothy said. “Archer’s alarms told us that Laszlo was upstairs.”

“Ah. Yes. I flew up to the second storey as a bat.” Laszlo explained. “But then I realised the window was closed and bats don’t have thumbs. So I had to wait for Komachi to open it for me.”

“Which window?” Dorothy asked.

Laszlo hummed. “Actually, I believe it was the same one she fell out of.”

“So that’s where you entered?”

“No, she shouted at me to use another window instead and called me a lot of rude names.” Laszlo said. “So I did.”

Dimitri folded his arms. “That was utterly pointless.” He said.

Was it really? Dorothy thought over the details.

“Hold on a moment.” She said. “You said she let you in. Was that true for everybody else?”

“Yes.” Dimitri said grudgingly. “When I approached the door I found that I could not enter. I had to wait for a signal from Komachi before I could pass the threshold.”

“I let myself in.” Gilgamesh boasted.

“Ah, but your entrance through the wall was at the same time Lady Onozuka let me through the front entrance.” Kirei interjected. “It seems more likely that she let down the barrier all at once.”

“Do you imply, Kotomine, that I could not have demolished her pathetic wards with but a thought?” Gilgamesh challenged.

Kirei smiled. “Not at all. Just that you weren’t given a chance to prove it.”

“Hmph.” Gilgamesh nodded. “Your tact is pleasing. As always.”

“Get a room already.” Archer catcalled.

They really did deserve each other.

“I think we’ve gotten a better understanding of how the barrier worked.” Dorothy concluded. “Komachi had to lower it every time somebody entered. As far as we’re aware, nobody broke or bypassed it.”

“So everyone stayed inside the whole time, right?” Archer asked. “So what was the point of checking out the jungle?”

“Think about it.” Hob explained. “Once she’d been offed, she couldn’t’ve kept the barrier up. The killer would’ve been free to run off and hide evidence.”

“Which we’ll discuss after we’ve covered what everyone was doing.” Dorothy said. “So 21, Old Hob, and Archer engaged with you Laszlo?”

He nodded. “Well really, they shot me with lots of bullets. Ah, but before that I threw the fat one through the roof so I suppose I earned it.” He mused.

“He never did come back down.” Hob muttered to himself. “Where exactly did you wind up?”

21’s eyes shifted behind his tinted goggles. “Not really sure I wanna get into that.”

“Oh I can tell you exactly what he was getting up to.” Archer said smugly. He drew out the fob to his surveillance devices and thumbed through a series of switches. A playback crackled from the miniature speaker.

“All I want to do is give people a little more control. But I can only do that if you do one thing for me.”

“What?”

“I need you to kill Sterling Archer.”

“I set up a bug in the little office thingy where I negotiated with Komachi.” Archer said. “Wound up picking up this little gem as well.”

It felt like a switch had been flicked in Dorothy’s head. She hadn’t even been Komachi’s first choice. Just what was going on here?

All eyes turned to 21. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

“Oh come on, why do I keep getting put in the hot seat?”

“Maybe because it’s fun to watch you squirm?” Monokuma suggested.

“Look,” 21 said, “I clearly didn’t act on it, okay?” He gestured frantically to Archer. “I mean he’s still alive right?”

Archer slowly shook his head with his lips melodramatically pursed. “Tisk tisk. I thought you were cool man. We shared Night Ranger together.”

“We can draw any conclusions about 21 from this!” Edward interjected. “He came down to help me, not to go look for Archer. Besides; he, Dimitri, and I have the only alibis.”

“It is a shameful one, but it is true. I have an alibi.” Dimitri grudgingly admitted.

Hob’s eye flickered with recognition. “Hey that’s right. Your little slumber party down there. How exactly did that happen?”

Dimitri grunted. “Not much to explain. I arrived through the side entrance in the room with the large mesh boxes---”

“You mean speakers?” 21 asked.

Dorothy shushed him.

“---I entered the other half of the ground floor and announced myself to Edward and the one who now calls herself Dorothy, and who Komachi called Project R. We fought. The fight carried us through to the half of the building I entered from. Then Dorothy vanished. I assumed at first that she was hiding from me, planning to stab me in the back. But she never appeared.”

“Right, yeah. And after that weird meeting with Komachi, she put me back downstairs and told me to make sure you didn’t kill anyone.” 21 added on eagerly. “And then Gilgamesh kicked our shit in and that’s all I can remember except the bruises.”

"During that time, Komachi abducted me and gave me a similar offer as 21." Dorothy said. "Which is why I was there in the room with her when it happened."

Edward rubbed his chin. “Hang about. Do we really know whether all three of us were unconscious the entire time?”

“I can assure you, I allowed no one to rise.” Gilgamesh said. “I stood vigil over my conquests to ensure none would come to claim them from me.” He shot a look of abject loathing over at Laszlo.

“I only asked for one.” Laszlo complained. “Bit greedy hogging them all to yourself.”

“Squawk at me not, buzzard.”

“Look, I’m willing to accept they were all out cold for the entire time.” Hob said. “They sure looked like they’d taken a beating. What I wanna know is, how can we be sure Gilgamesh didn’t go anywhere.”

Kirei politely rapped his podium to draw their attention. “I can vouch for him.”

“Because of your supposed link, right?” Dorothy asked. It was a little tough to swallow. Considering she’d witnessed her creator perform what could only be described as magic, maybe that was being unfair. “Could you demonstrate this?”

Gilgamesh sneered. “A king does not need to demonstrate anything. Take my word as unconditional truth or challenge me and die.”

“He did know that a murder had occurred without leaving the room.” Laszlo ventured.

“Yeah, dumbass, which he could’ve known if he was the one who committed it.” Archer retorted.

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

Kirei sighed. “Gilgamesh, would you accept it if I gave them proof?”

“Do as you like.” Gilgamesh told him.

“Old Hob, the entire time that you were in the room with Gilgamesh he did not get up from his seat. The only movement he made was to lift one leg to step on what I assume was somebody’s head.”

“Mine.” Dimitri growled.

Hob hesitated, then shrugged. “Fine. I buy it now. So Gilgamesh and Kirei are each others’ alibi.”

“Did I say that?” Gilgamesh asked haughtily. “If Kirei wishes to prove his innocence he shall do so on his own merit.”

“Don’t you die if he gets executed?” Hob pointed out.

“If he can’t defend himself, I will not tolerate to be bonded to him.”

“Alright.” Kirei nodded. “I am afraid I don’t have an alibi. I could have easily done the deed, left down the hall, and then returned pretending to be unaware.”

“Would Dorothy not have seen you?” Edward asked.

“Yes, I find that quite odd.” Laszlo said. “Suspicious even. If you truly were a witness, why haven’t you fingered a man yet?”

“Phrasing.” Archer coughed.

“Before attacking Komachi, the killer struck me in the head.” Dorothy explained. “The attack disrupted my vision and my other senses. I’ll give my best to provide a detailed account of what I saw.” She ran over the smear of events in her thoughts one more time. “Komachi brought me to her to try and convince me to kill Archer as well. I had my back to Komachi when it happened. I heard a hissing sound, and then when I turned around, she was on the floor. That’s when I was struck on the forehead. After that, I saw Komachi get back up and try to attack the killer. There was a struggle. Something else struck my head, but much lighter that time. Then I heard glass shattering and when my senses came back online I saw her dead on the ground outside the shattered window.”

“And you didn’t see the attacker clearly at all?” Kirei mused.

“I didn’t.” Dorothy was struck with a sudden realisation. “But that doesn’t make any sense.”

She turned to Hob. “Can I see your map for a second.”

Hob shrugged and handed it over.

“Look---we were facing each other throughout most of the conversation. She fell after I turned away from her.”

She sketched out the scene.

“But if the killer came through the door, there is no possible way I would have missed them.”

“Then what about the vents?” Hob suggested.

“Yes, or the window. The way I came in.” Laszlo pointed out.

“Both were right next to me.” Dorothy countered. “The killer wouldn’t have been able to attack Komachi first without being seen.”

“Besides, the window would’ve been a no go because of the barrier, right?” 21 asked.

“Exactly.” Dorothy pulled her mouth taut. “There must be something going on here.”

“You mentioned a hiss.” Edward said. “Could that have had something to do with it?”

“I think we know exactly who’s going around hissing at people here.” Archer said. He jerked his head at Laszlo.

“Yeah, you did do that, didn’t you?” Hob said.

“Yes, I have been known to hiss on occasion.” Laszlo agreed cheerfully. “Hate to prove the stereotypes correct but--- Wait just one moment are you accusing me?”

“It all fits.” Edward said. “The woman was found with a pair of puncture wounds on her throat---bite marks. You could have easily descended upon her as a bat from the vents, then flown over Dorothy’s head to strike her from behind.”

“Plus, when you left, you were whining about how thirsty you were!” Hob struck a fist into his open palm. “Shit, I knew I should’ve followed you. Of course you went looking for the nearest source of blood.”

“It could’ve been anyone who bit her.” Laszlo said defensively.

“Are you stupid enough to think we would believe that?” Dimitri growled. “None of us have fangs.”

Kirei spoke up. “What if the marks were made.. Without fangs?”

21 gave him an incredulous look. “I inspected the wounds myself dude. No way they were made by any kind of blade. And a bullet would’ve gone all the way through.”

“How about a pen?” Kirei ventured.

Dorothy thought back to the boxes they’d found.

“Of course.” She said. “There was a box of pens in the room itself. Anybody could’ve grabbed one and stabbed her.”

“But they would have had to know the pens were there first.” Kirei challenged. “The rest of the boxes were closed. There were only two open, remember?”

“Then the stabbing must’ve occured during the struggle after she got back up.” Dorothy realised. “That makes sense too. Otherwise, how would she have fought back when she was losing that much blood?”

21 furrowed his brow. “Wait, but if she got stabbed after she’d already fallen down, then… what made her fall?”

“Sometimes people just do that.” Laszlo said. “I had a young cousin once when I was a boy. He was born with the yellow jaundice, and so he had one leg significantly shorter than the other and he’d just tumble over at random. Tumble Down Edwin we called him.”

“No,” Dorothy frowned, “it definitely had something to do with the killer.”

Edward considered something. “What if the killer never touched her?”

“A ranged weapon.” Dimitri mused. “It would be befitting a coward who attacks from behind.”

“Yet we found no wounds indicating a dart or bullet.” Edward pointed out.

“Yeah, besides. How’d you aim through a vent when she was standing on the other side of the room?” Hob added.

Gilgamesh snorted. “Must I assist you? Is this truly not an idea that would occur to your simple minds? Not all weapons must be aimed.”

“Let’s put a pin in that.” 21 said. “We don’t really have any evidence to go talking about some mystery wonder weapon. Let’s narrow our list and look at who could have done it.”

“Which means we’re looking at the time after Dorothy got snatched to chat with Komachi but before Gilg called us all over to see the body.” Hob summarised. “Lemme see if I can draw this out…”

He sketched a map of everybody’s starting and ending locations.

“Lessee.. I wrestled Laszlo for a while then we split. He came downstairs a little while after me. Ed, Dor, and Dimitri fought for a bit. Dorothy got swapped out for 21. Gilgamesh shows up and none of them move a muscle after that. Kirei, you said you used the front entrance?”

“I did. I climbed the left staircase and met Dorothy in the middle of the second storey.”

Dorothy watched Hob work over his shoulder. “You’re a lot worse at this than Tita was.” She remarked.

“You want fast, or you want pretty?” Hob grumbled.

They studied the finished map.

“Hey waitasec. Where did Archer go?”

Hob looked up at him expectantly. “Well?”

“Went back down the same set of stairs you guys used to come up.” Archer shrugged. “What’s wrong with that?”

Hob drew it in.

He looked up at Archer again. “And then you did.. what exactly?”

Archer shrugged. “I dunno. Grabbed some records for the road I guess.” He patted his carton.

“You’re asking us to swallow bilge mate.” Edward said sternly. “You couldn’t have hung about forever without us noticing you. Especially not once the fighting started. Dimitri sliced apart every one of those shelves. Even if you tried to hide from us, there’d be nothing to do it behind.”

“And I certainly did not see him on my way in through the right side entrance.” Dimitri said. “Or I’d have torn him to pieces.”

“So where precisely did you go?” Edward demanded.

“I think I can answer that.” Kirei said. “Gilgamesh, if you’ll recall our discussion about the barrier.”

“Hmph.” Gilgamesh adopted an obliging grin. “I’ll humour you this time Kotomine. Your pet theory was that she could only maintain or dismiss it all at once, correct?”

“And if that’s true,” Dorothy realised, “then there was actually a span of time where someone could’ve left the building.”

“And I know exactly where he would have gone as well.” Edward declared.

“As do I.” Dimitri agreed. “In the forest, we found a hunting platform and a harness. Nearby is where he recovered his rifle.”

“You mean this?” Gilgamesh produced the enormous gun from seemingly nothing. “I told you all of the most valuable clues would find their way to me.”

Archer threw up his hands. “Alright. Fine. Whatever. So I left the building. Nobody got shot, so who cares?”

“I care.” Kirei said. “In fact, I think it establishes something very important. You were planning to kill somebody.”

“Yeah? I wasn’t the only one pal.” Archer pointed at 21 and then Dorothy. “Both of you were conspiring with the Ultimate Shinigami. Conspiring! Running off into the woods to get my big ass gun was a perfectly reasonable reaction.”

“I don’t think you ran to get the gun for self-defence.” Dorothy said. “You couldn’t have listened to that recording of Komachi and 21 without alerting me and Edward where you were.”

“You were sneaking off to try something you had already been planning to do anyway.” Edward’s eyes narrowed. “You were going to try to kill Dorothy.”

“What? Pfft. No way.” Archer laughed nervously. “Why the hell would I want to do that? I’m here to help you guys escape, right?”

Dorothy hesitated. She could prove it. But if they knew how supposedly dangerous she was, it’d be exposing herself to unknown consequences. Even Komachi herself had spared them from that, never actually pointing to Dorothy as the sticking point in the agreement.

Dorothy didn’t want the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she also didn’t want to keep running from herself forever.

“You said it in that meeting.” Dorothy said. “You called me a threat to global security. Go ahead. Play back the tape for everyone since you already admitted to recording it.”

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

Archer’s eyes bored into hers. “Fine.” He muttered. “Fine, fuck you. I was gonna do this quietly. Nobody would even have to know why.” He spat. “But if that’s what you want.” He defiantly pulled out the fob again and entered the playback.

“The robot’s a threat to global security.”

“The android is a walking talking miracle. A universal memory host! Even somebody as dense as you should be able to see how much she can do for the human race in the right hands.”

“Yeah, or how much damage she could do in the wrong ones. Oh wait---that’s you built her for. You already agreed the best thing to do was destroy her before Ultimate Despair works out how to make more of her independent of the pirate’s brainwaves and destroys what’s left of the free world.”

“I know what I said. But I can’t. Call me sentimental. The dead need to have a voice.”

Archer pulled a flask out of his suit jacket and allowed himself a swig.

“You people have absolutely no idea how bad things really are.” Archer said shakily. “This mission? Eye of the storm baby. This is not the danger zone, it’s fresh cut flowers compared to what’s out there and I’ve been making the best of it. And if she makes it out of here alive.” He jabbed a finger at Dorothy. “Then Hurricane Bitch is gonna swallow up the whole wide freakin’ world.” He drained the rest of the flask and tossed it at Monokuma. It bounced off the bear’s head.

“You really think I can do that much?” Monokuma said dreamily. “Wow, wow, wow! It feels great to have people believe in you. I’ll have to remember to thank you when I give my self-congratulation speech once I’ve stripped away everything on this happy go lucky little planet.”

Archer wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and belched.

“Alright. Whatever. Yeah I was gonna shoot her. Doesn’t prove anything except I’m doing what needs to be done.”

“Well.” A subtle smirk crept across Kirei’s face. “I think that outburst gave us enough to work with to determine how Archer might have acted.”

“Hold on.” 21 raised his hand. “Why didn’t you shoot her?”

“Oh, I know this one.” Laszlo said. “It’s because the barrier would stop the bullets.”

“Ehhh.” Archer imitated a buzzer. “Wrong answer Count Douchula.”

“You mean, you could have shot her.” Hob clarified. “But.. how?”

“He could have the same way he got out.” Dorothy said. “By timing the shot for the same moment the barrier was lowered for Gilgamesh and Kirei.”

“Could he actually have made that?” Dimitri wondered aloud.

“I told you guys I’m the world’s greatest secret agent. I would’ve saved the world and it would've been sick as hell, but somebody got in the way.”

“You mean, Komachi moved me to the office.” Dorothy said. “Wait, you mean you didn’t want to risk hitting Komachi too?”

“Catch 22. Needed HE rounds to punch through your creepy android body. Couldn’t hit you without also blowing up my ride out of here.” Archer set his jaw. “So yeah, I was gonna shoot you. No, I couldn’t do it in the end. I’m more of a ‘money and bragging rights’ kinda guy than a ‘die for the mission like an idiot’ one.”

Hob buried his face in his hands. “So that’s it. We followed all the leads we had and we wound up with a plot to kill the wrong victim that didn’t go anywhere?”

“We could always go back to the bat in the vents theory.” 21 suggested helpfully.

“If I’d known I was going to be blamed for it anyway, I might as well have drank her blood.” Laszlo complained.

“No!” Dorothy said. A little more forcefully than she’d meant to. “We need to think this over. What would Archer have done next? Would the world’s greatest secret agent really just give up after one failed attempt?”

“Eh. Sometimes.” Archer shrugged. “Depends on my mood.”

“If he couldn’t kill from a distance, he’d have to do it up close.” Kirei continued. “Meaning he’d need to get into that room.”

“But we already ruled out the vents and the door.” 21 pointed out.

“He would not have had time to make it to either of them anyway. And not without being seen.” Dimitir added.

This was it. The do or die moment. Dorothy wracked her brain for anything. The slightest detail could nail down their suspect or leave them wallowing in even more confusion.

She walked through the scenario in her own head. In the same situation, what would she do?

“You used the window.” She said. “The same way you used the door. You hung from the sill like I did when I was eavesdropping on you and waited for Gilgamesh and Kirei to arrive so you could sneak through.”

“And do what?” Archer challenged. “Take on a super strong killer robot with a pistol and my good looks?”

“Everything you needed was already in that room.” Kirei answered him. “There’s more than one way to kill a machine.”

21’s eyes widened. “The magnet!” He exclaimed. “Dude, he was gonna deformat you to death.”

“When I was struck on my forehead, that was you sticking a magnet on me.” Dorothy explained. She got a funny feeling as she realised what followed from that. “And then, the second time I was hit.. Komachi was taking the magnet off of me.” She shut her eyes for a moment. Komachi had saved her life, and condemned it to be eternally complicated by her own ambitions. Now she’d have to sort out what to think of the woman alone.

She shook herself back to reality.

“You had the perfect opportunity to pick one up when you knocked the box over during your meeting.”

“I heard it too.” Edward agreed. “But we’ve agreed I had an alibi.”

“In fact, you were the only person who knew they were there who could’ve done it!”

Archer grimaced. His eyes flashed between each member of the jury as though searching for a weakness. Somewhere he could deflect. Distract. He found nobody but Dorothy.

Archer slicked back his hair and cocked a half smirk. “Nah.” he said. “You’re not boxing me in that easily. Two other people knew about those magnets. I’m lookin’ at one of them.”

“Why would she stick a magnet on herself?!” Hob demanded.

Archer shrugged. “Could’ve faked it. Nobody actually saw her get messed up like she claims she was. Maybe she planted it in Komachi’s hands to look like a victim. Maybe Komachi tried to use it to defend herself when her own creation went Frankenstein on her ass. I mean come on, she expects us to believe Komachi just ‘fell down’ out of nowhere?”

“I hate to say it, but he has a point.” Dimitri said. “This whole time we have accepted for granted that you were a victim. But we have not seen any proof.”

Dorothy looked to Kirei. “You were there. Can’t you tell them the state I was in?”

“I’m afraid Dimitri shares my judgement.” Kirei said.

“I believe you kid.” Hob told her. “But you’re gonna need to fight for this one.”

So close. She had been so close and now that arrogant, smug little man was going to claw back victory from the throes of defeat. The Karai part of Dorothy seethed with anger. All this would have been so much more simple if she could only get her hands around his neck and twist until she heard a crunch.

A crunch.

She had heard a crunch.

“How did your watch really break?” Dorothy demanded.

“Huh?” Archer squinted at her. “How should I know? I thought Monokuma did it.”

“Nope! Not me!” Monokuma tittered. “You oughtta take better care of your things buddy. And yourself. Talk about liver failure!”

“Me and my liver have a perfectly functional relationship!” Archer snapped.

“Earlier, when you were talking to Komachi, she seemed to flinch when you were touching your watch.” Dorothy said.

Archer shifted slightly. “Well yeah but she was a crazy person who joined terrorist groups and made weird memory robots.”

“No, I remember that.” Hob cut in. “You said it wasn’t loaded. I figured it was a joke but---”

“---but then you kept bragging about being the world’s best secret agent.” 21 finished.

“Okay so it may or may not be a spy watch.” Archer admitted. “Your point?”

“My point is that that’s how you knocked Komachi down without touching her.” Dorothy said. “Laszlo told us that at first he tried to get in through the office window. He never said that Komachi ever closed it all the way.”

“She didn’t!” Laszlo said. “Very irresponsible. Breathing in too much night air can cause the yellow jaundice. That’s what happened to cousin Edwin.”

“You did something to her. Maybe a dart, or a gas.” Dorothy continued. “Something that didn’t affect me.”

“Alright.” Archer forced a laugh. “Are we gonna be using any proof on this one or do I get to make up weapons for you too? Like, you murdered her with your built in space laser.”

“The last thing I saw before my vision went out was when you grabbed her arm and I heard a crunch. That was the glass watch face breaking wasn’t it?”

“Aaand still not hearing any proof.” Archer said. He made a show of cupping his hand to his ear. “I’m really listening for it but it’s Just! Not! There!”

“How’s this for proof?” 21 said. “Dorothy’s testimony lines up perfectly with the shard I found lodged in her thumb.”

“When we looked at it, we said it looked like it couldn’t only been pushed up there if she put pressure on it.” Hob agreed. “Which is exactly what would’ve happened if she broke it by gripping it too hard.”

“Wait Gilgamesh was right again.” 21 blinked. “How did you know that the glass was broken before the window? Or that the gun would wind up being the most important clue?

“Absolute certainty is the hallmark of the King of Heroes.” Gilgamesh said. It was sort of an answer. Maybe.

“And the reason she grabbed for the watch was to stop him from using it against her a second time.” Dorothy concluded.

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

21 elbowed Archer. “Really running out of room to squirm pal. You wanna make this easy on yourself?”

“Never!” Archer shouted.

He seemed to take stock of the situation. His brows furrowed as his frustrated mind tried to come up with a last gambit. Finally he seemed to give up. Instead he spread his arms wide and gave them all a mellow grin.

“Look, alright, maybe it could’ve been me. But that’s not such a big surprise right? I mean I could use my skills to kill any of you. But could isn’t did. I’m not admitting to anything.” He pointed lazily at Laszlo. “Hey, we still haven’t ruled him out right? Spooky vampire is right here to blame. So why does it have to be me, huh?”

This was it. The final nail. Karai found the taste of desperation at the end of a long chase to be exhilarating. Dorothy just found it sad.

Maybe it was the relief of pressure but this time, the answer came to her without effort.

“Komachi told us herself it couldn’t be him.” Dorothy said to him.

“Have you blown a circuit already?” Archer asked. “Maybe that stupid magnet backup plan worked better than expected. She’s dead.”

“But we’ve still heard her words.” Dorothy said. “Laszlo, what did she say to you when you tried to enter through that window?”

Laszlo pondered. “Well I’m not actually sure how to pronounce some of the vampire slurs she used, but the jist of it was, she said I was an idiot and that if I went through that window she would watch me die in agony.”

“What, like you said you’d melt if you stood too close to Kirei?” Hob asked. “No offence.”

“None taken.” Kirei said. “If I’m telling the truth, I’m actually exhilarated that my presence could hurt somebody like that.”

“Hob, when I asked you to look at the wall you said it looked like there was too much space between the hanging album covers.” Dorothy said. “I think I have a decent idea of where those went.”

Archer clutched his carton a little tighter to himself.

“Why would he steal albums?” Laszlo asked. “Especially the rubbish knockoffs they’ve got here.”

“When he tried to frame you, he needed to do two things,” Dorothy explained, “make it look like you did it---that’s what the marks he made with the pen were for. The other thing he needed to do was make it looked like you could do it. Just like he said. Could and did. Archer, I’ll make you a bet. Some of those records you have in that box are broken. If I can get all of them right, you’re guilty. If I can’t, then you can blame whoever you want.”

Archer shrugged. “Hey, if I’m screwed either way. Might as well make a game out of it.”

He offered the carton to Dorothy. She opened it and scanned through each album sleeve. She plucked four without even glancing at the others.

Guns ‘n Roses - Appetite for Destruction.

Black Sabbath - Headless Cross.

Metallica - Master of Puppets

Ozzy Osbourne - The Ozzman Cometh

“See a pattern?” Dorothy asked. She showed them to Laszlo, who instinctively hissed and recoiled.

Dorothy opened each album to reveal that each of the records within had cracked or shattered. “These were the ones you had to throw out the window. You couldn’t climb back down again with a box under your arm.”

“I was tempted to try but I think falling and breaking my ass bone would’ve looked even worse than this does.”

“You fucking moron.” Hob growled. His claws sprung out of his paws and curled peeling strips of wood away from his podium. “You killed our only chance of getting out of here.”

Archer adjusted his tie. “Yeah pretty much. Would it make you feel better if I said she did it to herself?”

“If you won’t even take credit for your crime, dog, then I have nothing more I wish to hear from you.” Dimitri spat. He grabbed his spear and screamed a fervored battle cry. He made it within a hair’s breath of impaling Archer before mechanical hands descended from the ceiling and hauled him up and out of sight.

“This is my show! Tut tut!” Monokuma scolded. “Nobody should get the idea they can take away hosting Punishment Time from me. It’s pretty much all I do.”

“Where’d you take him?” Archer asked idly.

“Puhuhu! Oh, just a temporary time out.” Monokuma chortled. “He’ll be come back with a better temper. Not that you’ll be around to see it.”

Archer held up a finger. “Ah, wait. Don’t I get to explain my crime first so it hits harder when you do me in?”

“Hmm good point!” Monokuma agreed. “That is a fine tradition in this game. Alright go ahead. But make it quick!”

Archer addressed the group. “Yeah I’ll be the first to admit the mission bombed harder than Operation Eagle Claw. Do I regret my actions? No way, I did nothing wrong. Heck I’d shoot you right now if Golden God over there didn’t take my gun.”

Gilgamesh preened.

“But like I said, technically I didn’t actually kill her. She saw me coming for you to finish the job and she tackled me out the window. Sure I flipped her so she was the one who hit the ground. But that was self defence.” He shrugged. “I went out of my way to hit her with sleeping gas. If she’d stayed down, she’d still be alive. Probably. So if you think about it whose fault is it really?”

“Still yours!” 21 snapped. “What’s so dangerous about Dorothy that it was worth dooming us all? What is she secretly a nuke?”

“You got surprisingly close.” Archer said.

“What the hell does that mean?!”

Archer checked his broken watch.

“It means, see you suckers ‘cause I just bought enough time to signal for an emergency evac.” Archer crowed. “Any second now!”

Monokuma guffawed. “Oh! He’s in denial! I love these ones!”

“Aaanny second now!” Archer repeated!

Monokuma raised his gavel gleefully. “Okay everyone, let’s give it all we’ve got!”

“Any second now?” Archer flicked his watch. “Come on, it had a signal a minute ago--wait, there we go!”

Mechanical arms wrapped around Archer’s limbs and pulled them to his side. They dragged him away from his podium and back across the floor.

“IIIIIIIT’S PUNISHMENT TIME!”

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

Archer found himself unceremoniously dumped into a pit with high featureless walls made of reflective stainless steel.

He watched in horror as an industrial vat was gradually winched into place above the mouth of the pit. Archer slammed his watch again and again.

“Come on! Damn it! What is taking them? Any second now baby, let’s go!”

Over the vat tipped. Thousands of ice cubes rained down on his head. Archer was nearly buried alive before the avalanche abated. He stood there shivering, buried up to his neck.

Another vat appeared. This time, a cool clear liquid splashed over him, soaking his custom tailored suit completely through. Archer spluttered and coughed and then the liquid touched his lips and he lit up.

“Wait! Is that gin?” He tasted it again. “Oh my god you’re trying to punish me by drowning me in alcohol. Do you even know who I am?”

Archer relaxed and floated on his back. His overworked liver had long ago rendered him immune to alcohol poisoning. Archer could practically breathe in this stuff.

A shower of vermouth followed next. He laughed and splashed in it, gulping down enough to elevate his comfortable buzz into pleasant drunken warmth.

The olives were a little gross but at least they were soft. Way better than the ice.

By the time martini ingredients were done pouring onto his head the level had risen enough that Archer judged he was able to reach up and grasp the edge.

The stainless steel was a little slippery, but after a while he managed to get a solid grip.

Good thing too. He didn’t want to be caught in there whenever the giant swizzle stick made its appearance.

A enormous shadow loomed over Archer’s head. He looked up just in time to see the other half of the cocktail shaker slam down.

Shaken, Not Stirred

The huge metal cylinder jolted up and down, up and down, with such rapidity that the seams holding it together began to buckle.

The metric tonne of ice cubes inside make a terrific clatter against the steel.

Finally, the shaker slowed and came to a halt. It flipped over on its head.

Monokuma walked underneath it holding a normally sized cocktail glass.

A comically miniscule amount of liquid poured from the shaker barely filling the glass an eighth of the way.

Monokuma angrily pounded the side of the machine. With a wet ‘plop’, the shaker disgorged a very soggy, very broken watch.

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

YOU FOUND A TREASURE!:

Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone.

Kenny Loggins' best remembered hit of 1986. If Archer is to be believed, then you aren't even in it yet.

[u/Proletlariet → u/Proletlariet]

Three Down.

Killing Game Status