Team Building Potlucks

[u/Reasonable_Revenue_3]

My coworkers LOVE potlucks. They do other activities such as trivia, games, and football watch events but potlucks are there main thing. There’s a potluck almost every 2 weeks. In between these potlucks there is constant socializing whether it’s during or after work. The room is never quiet. I enjoy the constant chatter around the room and how active it is but Im not too fond of the potlucks and team building events.

I don’t know why they do them so often when they also talk during work hours. What is there to talk about for 40hrs a week every week??? They always invite me but I decline because I just don’t know what to do at these events.

I don’t like sharing my personal life. My work experience is alittle convoluted so talking about it makes me a tad uncomfortable. I hate school but my resumes says other wise. My life is a contraindication due to lack of advise, exposure, and survival to which speaking with my coworkers they just don’t understand so anything I say is dismissed. I’m allergic to a majority of the food and i dont have much an appetite during work hours. I also am not interested in knowing what my coworkers do outside of work. I’m just not curious enough to know them in that way. I’m not a big board game person and I like to watch football on my own time (while I’m working). I overall keep to myself at work.

Well I’m looking into changing departments. Not because of the social hours but due to the work. It’s getting alittle boring. The department I’m transitioning to wants to start doing social hours like the department I’m leaving but this department is much smaller which means I can’t sneak out to my car while they “team build”.

Im gonna have to start going. Just the idea of it makes me so uncomfortable :/

Any tips?

[u/typhoidmarry]

Just be polite with a “no thank you”

I don’t eat anything coworkers bring in. Something like 1 in 40 people are hoarders, I don’t know what your kitchen looks like.

[u/Previous-Artist-9252]

Why don’t you want to get to know your coworkers? Why are you uncomfortable?

I am not best friends with any of my coworkers and my life is complicated, but it’s not that hard to put together a work-friendly version of my life where they know I have a pampered dog, love reading non-fiction especially history, and spend my down time doing practical hobbies around my home.

[u/Reasonable_Revenue_3 → u/Previous-Artist-9252]

Well they told me everything about themselves. There all “open books”. I ask one question and they tell me there whole life story. Now I have no follow up questions and my curiosity decreases. Also the conversations I overhear are all the same so I have no desire to rehash the same topics.

Im uncomfortable because they solely only bring up topics of my past work experience and school. The two topics I try to avoid. Even if I try to change the subject, it pops back it.

My curated work image: I enjoy binge watching tv, cook/clean on the weekend, Star Trek fan, Christmas person, currently doing a dry year, and I like reptiles/amphibians. I also do movie schedules for the winter time to keep me occupied.

[u/Previous-Artist-9252 → u/Reasonable_Revenue_3]

Just because you assume they are an open book does not mean they actually are. I have been in the workforce consistently for over two decades and I have very rarely met a true open book. The fact that they keep to the same topics suggests the same.

You don’t need to be naturally curious. You need to be polite, civil, and professional. Even if that means rehashing the same talking points.

If they want to talk about education and professional experience (two very common workplace topics) then polish those topics for them. Pick your favorite class, professor, or subject matter from undergrad or grad school. Choose a boss you liked, a coworker you networked with, a professional experience that brought you to your current job. Then you have your own topics to rehash.

[u/Consistent_Data_128 → u/Reasonable_Revenue_3]

Maybe people don’t want to talk about those topics, which are someone boring tbh. Unless they are watching the same tv show. Or enjoy reptiles.

Try talking about your family, or funny things that happened to you. If they bring up past work or school experiences why don’t you want to talk about it? Are there just a few funny stories you can pull out of there?

I think navigating this social situation would be a challenge for anyone. But keep trying. Good luck

[u/constructiongirl54]

I'm stuck on the potluck part. I don't eat food made in a home I have visited. People are nasty!

[u/Consistent_Data_128]

Force yourself to go once a month. Bring something to contribute that you can eat if you aren’t hyped about eating their questionable food.

It’s difficult for an introvert to deal with. However, getting people to like you is 50% of every job. People who see you as friendly will go out of their way for you, they will give you tips, give you information, help you, and speak well of you when you aren’t there. It’s office politics and it’s real. In my experience you can stay on the sidelines but ya gotta at least show up.